Feeding/taking care of your other kids - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-24-2006, 04:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Does anyone else have trouble finding time to feed your other kids? I literally spend 80% of my day on the couch nursing the babies and I would find myself realizing at 3 or 4 pm that my toddler hadn't eaten since breakfast! He never said he was hungry and I just forgot. So lately I have just kept a plate of snacks on the coffee table and he just comes and eats when he is hungry. I have a plate of string cheese, Yobaby yogurt, an apple and mandarin and he has been nibbling on that all day. I feel so bad but the babies just consume all my time. I only get up to change their diapers pretty much. Today my son needed help going potty and I was on the couch tandem nursing so I told him he needed to get the stool and get on the potty by himself. He did it, but I feel so bad I was not able to help him. He also takes the dishes to the sink by himself, throws away trash for me, gets his own change of clothes, etc. In some ways it is good he is learning to take care of himself, but he is only 2.5 and I feel so guilty I cannot baby him anymore.

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Old 01-24-2006, 11:31 PM
 
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OMG! You were reading my mind. I feel the same way. I have a 2.5 yo and she does everything for me. Gets me diapers, clothes, pillows...everything. She has just started going on the potty. Last night I was busy nursing the twins and she said she needed to go potty. (She says this alot nowadays even when she doesn't) So I didn't rush nursing the boys. She got off pulled her pants on and flushed...didn't say anything. I went to put a diaper on her when I was finished and there was poop on her butt. I wasn't even there when she pooped on the potty for THE FIRST TIME!.

I want her to still be able to be a 2.5 yo. I have been trying not to ask her to get me things all the time. She never complains I just feel bad. At least I'm not the only one now.
Thanks for sharing.

PS I'm sure they're not feeling bad about it, they like to feel like big boys and girls I think it is just our wanting them to still be our "babies"

namaste
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Old 01-25-2006, 02:52 AM
 
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nak

whn k & o were about 2 months, our 3 yr old TWICE came to us at about 9:30 p.m. and said oh so sweetly..."could someone please make me a grilled cheese sandwich." we hadn't eaten since about 11 a.m. -- he didn't complain, very polite, like "if it's not too much trouble...". it broke our hearts. it does get easier w/time (not that that helps now...) just kn ow you aren't alone and that they will be ok... you are doing a great job!
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Old 02-07-2006, 05:14 PM
 
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wow, I am crying now. I am pregnant with twins due in May, and I have a 4 yo, 3 yo, and 18 month old! They already help me so much, and it is so sweet AND sad that they do things with such a good attitude! My 4 yo daughter does lots of stuff, too. I try to brag and brag on her, but I still feel a little sad, even though I know it is good that she is such a big helper and that she has such a giving and helpful attitude. I know four is older than 2.5, but I have always felt kinda sorry for her b /c she is the oldest and is growing up so fast!! She has never been babied at all! One thing I try to do is baby her in the cuddly ways, yk? Like, I let her sit and snuggle with me or lie in bed with us in the mornings. I think that is really the kind of babying that children need more than doing things for them. That always makes me feel better, anyway, hehe. Smiling at them a lot is good, too. Letting them know how special they are. I hope you are having a good day, and feeling less guilty! :-)
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Old 02-07-2006, 05:23 PM
 
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I'm totally scared of this scenario! My twins are due in April and that will make my dd's 5 and 4 months & 2 and 5 months old at that time. My 5 yo is already a great helper, and like the pp's have said, I already feel guilty about that. I'm so large and not easily mobile (plus I've been sick lately) that I find myself asking her to do so much. I always swore to myself that I would not be the parent that made the older child assume parental responsibilities, but it seems like that has already begun. Has anyone hired a pp doula to help with the older kids? My mw suggested that and having outside help was never something that appealed to me, but maybe in this situation it would be best - you know to play with the kids and make sure they're fed, etc.? I also don't know if it's something we could afford (I have no idea how much something like that would be).

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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Old 02-07-2006, 10:31 PM
 
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I think all of us with older children have been there. My DD was only 2 yrs and 2 weeks when the twins were born and I definitely had a lot of the same experiences. However, my mom moved in with us for several months, and her help was invaluable. It was hard having her around all the time but I don't think we could have done it without her.

I also hired a college student to come over a couple of times a week to play with Meg right before I went on bedrest. She is still coming over twice a week today and her help is also invaluable.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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Old 02-07-2006, 10:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redwolf2
OMG! You were reading my mind. I feel the same way. I have a 2.5 yo and she does everything for me. Gets me diapers, clothes, pillows...everything. She has just started going on the potty. Last night I was busy nursing the twins and she said she needed to go potty. (She says this alot nowadays even when she doesn't) So I didn't rush nursing the boys. She got off pulled her pants on and flushed...didn't say anything. I went to put a diaper on her when I was finished and there was poop on her butt. I wasn't even there when she pooped on the potty for THE FIRST TIME!.

I want her to still be able to be a 2.5 yo. I have been trying not to ask her to get me things all the time. She never complains I just feel bad. At least I'm not the only one now.
Thanks for sharing.

PS I'm sure they're not feeling bad about it, they like to feel like big boys and girls I think it is just our wanting them to still be our "babies"

namaste

OMG, small children LOVE to help and get things for Mama. I do not understand why you feel so badly about it. I think it is wonderful that they are so willing to help. My 8 yr old is a big helper with our 1 yr old. He ASKS me what he can do to help.

Good for you that you teach your child to be a cheerful helper.
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Old 02-08-2006, 12:42 PM
 
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Also, it's not like you are forcing them to help, right? My eldest has decided she doesn't like to help any more, and there's just not much I can do about it!

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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Old 02-09-2006, 03:44 PM
 
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I am in the same boat. I sit all day long nursing and holding babies, while feeling guilty taht the other one is crying. When my kids come home from school it is so difficult t o not use the help of my oldest ds who's 10. However, he told the principal that he couldn't get all of his work done because he was so busy holding babies! (in the meantiem, I frequently tell him to 'put that baby down!' and go do his homework). He is a tremendous help, but I don't want him to think that I can't manage without him. It would be nice if dh would help, but he feels that the babies are too much for him and he can't handleit. So, I'm soloing it with no help.

Rivka, mommy to 3 big boys and a set of b/g twins
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