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#1 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 03:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Every time I share what I consider the miraculous news that I am expecting twins (share with people in 'real life', not here on MDC, where everyone is lovely and supportive....)... they look me up and down and say something to the effect of "you're never going to be able to carry them full term!".

I'm pissed off. I mean, I know I'm a fairly small woman... but come on! I'm not THAT small, and I have faith that with nurturance, my five foot five, 120 pound body will do whatever it needs to do to take these babies to term. After all, my second son weighed in at 10 pounds, and there were no problems there! I am also a very healthy person... I eat well for the most part and I exercise several times a week.

But so far numerous people (including my own mother and my MIL) have openly expressed their lack of faith in my ability to carry these twins.

Is it just me or is that outrageously rude? I don't think anyone would ever dare predict a singleton baby being born prem, so what makes it ok to make such a sad prediction for my twins?

Anyways, I'm just ranting here. Thanks for listening.
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#2 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 03:16 PM
 
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I think that is absolutely shocking and RUDE!

Laura, Mama to Mya 7/02, Ian 6/07 and Anna 8/09
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#3 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 03:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you! It's good to know I'm not just being a crazy hormonal pregnant woman and overreacting. Phew.
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#4 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 03:27 PM
 
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I don't think anyone would ever dare predict a singleton baby being born prem, so what makes it ok to make such a sad prediction for my twins?
Yes they will. Rudeness knows no bounds. I heard it countless times especially toward the end when I was REALLY BIG (because I am so short). And I have no idea why - did they think I was literally going to explode? Or what? I have NO IDEA, but the comments got old very quickly, and yes, it is very rude for people to say stuff like that. I got so tired of hearing "You'll never make it!" Like my baby was going to suffer just because his mother happened to be short. You keep believing in yourself and don't listen to nay-sayers!!!

Single mom of 2 boys
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#5 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 03:43 PM
 
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I'm a lurker on the multiples board lol (was preggy w/twins before and lost 1 to VTS and can't seem to get them off my mind)..but anyway, no, its not you, they ARE being VERY rude. People always seem to be negative about pregnancy in general, especially a multiple pregnancy. I can't remember what forum I was on but one chick said she was going somewhere with her twin toddler daughters and some woman said "Better you than me!" WTF? I think multiples are TWICE the blessing,joy, laughs, hugs and kisses. Why are people so negative? My friend carried twins to term. She had a scheduled c section on week 37 and she did NOT have ANY problems what so ever.
I just got off the phone with my mom. She brought up future pregnancies to me (my last baby was stillborn a few months ago to uterine rupture) and while I'm optimistic and positive, I get sick of hearing her say "Well, I know a woman at work whose baby ...." Its looking like she won't be supportive the next time I get pregnant.
My advice to you is to surround yourself by POSITIVE people. If someone says something negative, tell them you won't discuss the details of your pregnancy with people who have no faith in your pregnancy. During my next pregnancy, thats EXACTLY what I'm gonna tell everyone FROM the start. If you want to be negative and think the worst, tell someone else, not me, because I won't listen to it. You are pregnant and shouldn't have to be stressed over people's negative reactions. Congrats on your twins, you and everyone on here is lucky to have been twice blessed!

Kylin 10/14/2002

Aja 8/13/2004

Evie 3/11/2010

2 angels in Heaven (Alexis & Bryson)

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#6 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 04:20 PM
 
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I've met plenty of women who were your size and able to carry their twins just fine. People said that to me too, and I'm 5'9 and 225. : I also get the "better you than me" comment. I personally agree with them. I also hear "Oh, you poor thing!" quite often. Its very irritating. When you have twins you get a lot of comments. I wasn't really prepared for that aspect of multiple mommyhood.
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#7 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 04:49 PM
 
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Anyone who give a snide comment of you being too small to carry full-term, you can always comment 'You'd be amazed what a woman's body can do!'

I am 5'2 and carried to 38w1d, to a 6lb 2oz girl and a 8lb 6oz boy!

They can stuff it.

Waldorf mama to 5yo b/g twins
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#8 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 05:34 PM
 
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Tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine. I am 5'2 weight 100-105 pre preg and carried my boys to 37w6d . I worked full time up till around 32 to 33 weeks before my doc put me on bed rest but I was working crazy hours between 60-80week. You can do it!!! If I had a dollar for every person that said I couldnt do it I would be a rich woman I got to the point when anyone would tell me that I would never carry them to term. Oh so you personal experience with this or Oh I didn't relize you went to medical school how's that working out for you? They would usually shut up and backpeddle at that point.
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#9 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 09:57 PM
 
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Unfortunatley the rudeness doesn't stop after they are born either. I have gotten a couple,"I would kill myself if I got knocked up with twins. . ." comments. Ummm, my kids are listening to you rant.

My OB told me my twins would be this. . . and that. . . I told him they would be over 7 lbs and he choked on his coffee. They were both 7 1/2 lbs. You can do anything you set your mind to.

Courtney wife to geek.gif and mom to 4 boys: chicken3.gif   . I need caffix.gif !
They're not typos. . . I can't spell!
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#10 of 31 Old 09-07-2006, 10:04 PM
 
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I'd be tempted to ask something ridiculous like, "oh good! I've been meaning to ask if you'll do the last few weeks for me" or something. Or at least, "Where did you get your medical degree? My doctor disagrees with you, and I don't feel I can honor a second opinion without seeing some credentials." (I realize I'm making a leap in assuming that because you're carrying twins, you're seeing a doctor. Only doctors in my state are legally permitted to attend twin births, to the best of my knowledge.)

Some people just say stupid or annoying things because they're trying to make conversation. This is a bit beyond that, but I thought I'd mention it.
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#11 of 31 Old 09-08-2006, 02:20 AM
 
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Oh- --- welcome to the world of thoughtless comments. I am a CNM and recieved several random comments from old co-workers (mostly nurses and resident physicians). One resident actually asked me why I would see a midwife. Scarry how doctors are trained-- that is another vent for another day.

Anyhow, take care of yourself, get tons of rest, eat healthy and ask people before they continue with their comment/story, "is this a positive comment, or negative comment??" Then they will get the hint.

And then.... after the birth, get ready for the next set of comments...."double trouble, your hands are full, are your b/g twins identical, etc.....
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#12 of 31 Old 09-08-2006, 10:06 AM
 
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sadly, yes, the comments just keep coming...

And as to their predictions. It's completely wrong. I'm 5'2" 130 pounds (pre preg) and carried my boys to 39 weeks. One was 6 lb14 oz, the other was 6 lb 4 oz. You can do it. Take it as more a reflection of the person giving it than on you. Hugs.
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#13 of 31 Old 09-08-2006, 10:10 AM
 
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My last two clients with twins held on to those babies until term. One was about 5'4 and 105 lbs prepregnancy (both babies around 6 lbs like her others) and the other client went to almost 41 weeks and hers were 7 and 8 lbs. She was a small woman also, about 5'3 or 5'4 and 115 lbs pre-pregnancy.
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#14 of 31 Old 09-08-2006, 10:33 AM
 
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I'm 5'1" and started at 135lbs. I am 34 weeks today, and yesterday my doc was very positive about going all the way to 38 weeks. As long as my BP and sugar are under control, Mr Nice DR. is going to make everyone else keep their nasty knives to themselves. I would go longer if I could, but I have GD, and my sugars are getting harder to control. I am going to be living off of cottage cheese and almonds and water by 38 weeks if things stay the way they are. Just try to ignore the rude idiots. Have confidence in yourself, because you can do it.

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
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#15 of 31 Old 09-08-2006, 10:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you everybody! I feel so fortified by all your strong words. Next time someone lays their negativity on me concerning my twins, I'll be sure to let them have it!
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#16 of 31 Old 09-09-2006, 09:28 AM
 
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I am small too and had my confidence squashed at one point (I am 28 wks now) but because of the reassurance of the MOMs here my determination was restored. I also learned some great come-backs that have left people blinking and embarrassed! Congratulations, you can do it!
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#17 of 31 Old 09-09-2006, 11:51 AM
 
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Yesterday I got the BEST COMPLIMENT! Both my OB and the nurses at my NST told me how fabulous I look, and how great the boys are doing! In fact they are no longer pushing for delivery at 36 weeks! Now they are talking 38 1/2 weeks! How cool is that. I have just gained 2-3 more weeks of pregnancy without having to worry about a c/s. I am 34 weeks and the NST nurse thought I looked better than most of their twin moms with no swelling, no BP issues and no real lingering pains or aches. I think the folks at the hospital are more supportive than some of my FAMILY. In fact they tell me to tell everyone else to go stuff it! Since I see them 3 times a week now, I guess that's a good thing.

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
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#18 of 31 Old 09-09-2006, 12:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Mamajody, how very fabulous! Good for you!
I am thrilled to hear everybody's 'success story'. I am feeling fully prepared to take these babies right to the end. I even had a light jog last night.... gotta get my exercise while its still comfy to do so.
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#19 of 31 Old 09-09-2006, 12:24 PM
 
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I've definitely heard plenty of those same comments, and they are actually getting more and more rediculous by the day. I am 5'5" and started out at around 135lbs prepreggo. I am now in my 37th week, and although I personally feel very ready to meet my munchkins, I just dont feel that they will be coming out for another week or two. Yes, my feet are swollen and I have been getting more discomforts b/c of my size, but I am not having any signs of labor yet (only very very random and pretty much unnoticeable BHs), I'm not on bed rest, and am otherwise doing great. There is absolutely no reason why YOU wont make it to term!!! Just set your mind to what you want to achieve and dont even pay attention to the negativity coming from other people
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#20 of 31 Old 09-09-2006, 12:38 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you are getting the rude comments already. And yes, your body can carry those babies full term! Being skinny or fat is not an indicator of what your body can do. It is how you take care of yourself during your pregnancy and believing in your body's ability to nourish those babies. I am only 5'4" and carried my babies to 40 weeks 1 day and they were 6 lbs 10 oz and 8 lbs 4 oz. My last 4 weeks of pregnancy people were incredibly rude (mainly my inlaws). It got so bad I would dread seeing them because I did not want to hear anymore "you cannot possibly get any bigger, you are HUGE" or "don't you want those babies out, you are just so big, 36 weeks is good enough." Blah blah blah! You just have to tune out all that negativity and think and speak positively about how you want your pregnancy to be.

Blessed mama of four
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#21 of 31 Old 09-09-2006, 12:44 PM
 
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You can totally carry those babies to term. My 5'1" Thai friend carried hers to 40 weeks and had two HUGE babies... her DS is American. She could barely walk at the end but so enjoyed it! (I have great pictures of her using the tractor to get her around their farm LOL)

Missionary, birth-worker, midwifery student
Mama to love.gif DD (9yr), DS luxlove.gif (3yr), & 2twins.gif UC twin DDs (5yr)

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#22 of 31 Old 09-09-2006, 01:53 PM
 
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Yep, totally rude! I'm another twin mama on the small side (5'3" and 115-120 if I'm weighing what I should weigh - but only a bit more than that pre-preg). My twins were born full term and were both very healthy and of good size (just shy of 7 & 8lbs each). Don't let ignorant comments like that get to you!

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#23 of 31 Old 09-10-2006, 03:43 PM
 
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It is amazing how many people don't have that shut off switch in their heads when it comes to knowing what is not appropriate to say. I have had so many rude and downright mean comments about my twins. The "better you then me" one makes me ! I always look them in the eye and with a very deadpan tone say "You're right...it IS better me then you." Ugh!!! Another one I hated when I was pregnant was when someone asked my due date and when I'd tell them they'd comment about how big I was...then when I'd say I'm having twins they'd then say "Oh, you're not very big for twins". : Uhhh....okay.

Don't let the rude comments get to you. Stay confident that you CAN and WILL carry these babies to term and show all of them just how very wrong they were.

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#24 of 31 Old 09-11-2006, 05:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twinmommykc
And then.... after the birth, get ready for the next set of comments...."double trouble, your hands are full, are your b/g twins identical, etc.....
DH had a great response to the question of 'are your b/g twins identical...'

Response: Oh sure, until you take off their diapers. :

Waldorf mama to 5yo b/g twins
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#25 of 31 Old 09-11-2006, 06:02 PM
 
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I'm not carrying twins, but am expecting an "Irish twin" and have gotten so many rude comments.

I was at a bridal shop with one of my best friends a few weeks ago and had DD in the sling, and my friend said something about my current pregnancy, and a store employee overheard her and said, "Oh my god, you're pregnant again?! You're baby's so young! Ugh...you poor thing, you must just feel awful. I would absolutely kill myself if I got pregnant so soon after having a baby! What are you going to do?"

me: Thanks, we're thrilled! We always knew we wanted four kids, and are so happy to get to have them while we're still so young and can enjoy raising them! It'll be a blast watching my youngest two learn things together!

I also get a lot of people telling me I'll never carry this baby to term, since DD was a 30wkr. Gee thanks. Not like I'm terrified already!

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
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#26 of 31 Old 09-11-2006, 07:14 PM
 
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UGH! I got all kinds of rude comments when I was pg with the twins. One lady just looked at me with this look of shock and disgust and was like... "You mean, you're gonna have FOUR kids??!" : I always thought you mammas with "near twins" had it worse though, in terms of comments and judgement. My sister's boys are 15 months apart. She got a lot more flack form strangers during her 2nd pg than I did during my twins.
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#27 of 31 Old 09-13-2006, 05:44 PM
 
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I know the smallest petitest little women that carried triplets to 36 weeks! So please ignore them. . . . .

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#28 of 31 Old 09-21-2006, 04:32 AM
 
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I just wanted to add another "success" story to your book: I'm 5'3", weighed 135 pp & carried my twins to 38w1d when twin b punched a hole in her bag, otherwise, I'm sure I would've gone longer! Oh & they were 6lb3oz each (1st baby - singleton - was 6lb13)
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#29 of 31 Old 09-23-2006, 01:16 PM
 
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You must be frustrated from your family, sorry for that. Often Mom and MIL's say the wrong thing and not realize all you need is support and positive people around you. I was 120 and 5'5 and carried my twins to 38 wks one was 7 lbs and the other 5'8oz, so for a little girl I did alright. You'll be amazed well your body will do. Think positive and don't let anyone get you down. My Father- IL said to me on my first pregancy "I think you are very week and can't take pain, you'll ask for the epidural. I was so taken back, well I had my first two with NO MEDS and twins with NO MEDS. I would love to throw it back to his face, but I'm not that kinda person, but I'm sure he realizes. Good luck,
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#30 of 31 Old 09-28-2006, 01:56 AM
 
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Size is not the issue, I am 6 foot and still was only able to carry by twin girls till they were 36 weeks, both were healthy and spent no time in the hospital after dilivery. They weighted in at 5# 11 oz and 5# 12. My girlfriend who had twins carried hers till she was 38 weeks and she is only 5' 3". They were both in the high 6#. So take it all in stride, as someone eles posted the comments don't stop after birth they just seem to get more far out. Take as much time now to take care of yourself and keep well rested. I didn't eat for 3, I slept for three.
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