Chat/Support Thread for Mothers of 3-6mo Twins? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 41 Old 10-14-2006, 01:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone who has 3-6mo old twins (born 04/06ish-07/06ish) interested in having a monthly chat/support thread here? I'd be happy to start them every month. We could leave it to general chat or I could start w/ a topic/question and let things go from there. I just know I personally could use the fellowship of more AP/natural living twin moms w/ bitty ones in the same developmental window as mine. :

Any takers?

Crunchy Mama to the Triad of Chaos-- DD1 (9/03) & the Twinadoes- DS and DD2 (6/06)
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#2 of 41 Old 10-14-2006, 04:13 PM
 
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Mine are ten months now. I remember when they were around 4 months and I felt so alone, like I was the only person in the world experiencing this. I am so excited that my twins can get where they want to now. Still no easy task, although I'm sure it never will be. They will entertain themselves MUCH better than before. Good luck to you, I would have taken you up on the offer if mine were still that age.
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#3 of 41 Old 10-14-2006, 04:46 PM
 
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Mine are 9 months now but 3-6 months was the most difficult time of all. That was when my PPD was the absolute worst. It gets SO much better when the babie are able to sit up and crawl. Anyway, hang in there, it gets much easier.

Blessed mama of four
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#4 of 41 Old 10-14-2006, 09:01 PM
 
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Well mine are 6 months now, and I guess I'm going to agree with the others. They are actually fun now! That's a far cry from some of the posts I wrote over the last few months So more hugs & peace to you. My dd is about the same age as your dd1 also, so I know all too well what your household is like right now. Hope you find some folks to chat with, but if not know that all of us here are rooting for you!
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#5 of 41 Old 10-14-2006, 11:58 PM
 
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I AM IN!!!! The twins were 4 mo yesterday. It has gotten easier, but is still challenging, esp with a 2 and 3 yr old. I love my family of 6, but ahhhh, am looking forward to sleeping someday and eating a meal without dropping food in a baby's hair. I was looking forward to the 3 month mark, but now I am looking forward to them sitting up on their own.

How is breastfeeding, esp at night, going for all of ya? We are plugging along....it is really hard some nights though. When I rotisserie nurse (roll back and forth with baby on each side), my pelvis really starts to ache, even with a pillow between my knees. It just hasn't ever worked well for us to have them both between DH and I. Both babies like to be right next to me when they are in our bed. When I am facing one of them and BF, the other one works his/her way to my back and I am sandwiched in.

mama to Joshua (9), Lily (8), Jude (6) and Ava (6)

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#6 of 41 Old 10-15-2006, 12:07 AM
 
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Count me in, too! Must calm fusser now...will write more later.

Cindi, mama to Hannah (7/04) :, Eli & Sam (6/06) :
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#7 of 41 Old 10-15-2006, 12:54 AM
 
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I'm in. Mine were born 3/26 so they're 6 months now!

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#8 of 41 Old 10-15-2006, 11:09 AM
 
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Two boys born May 12th 2005 here! Along with my 3 year old daughter who has Autism and I have barely anytime to get online. I would like to chat with other parents of twins this age though! Count me in!
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#9 of 41 Old 10-15-2006, 04:52 PM
 
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Count me in too - Meagan and Morgan are 6 months, but were premature. They are just meeting the milestones one would expect from a 4 month-old.

It's super tough because by this time my first daughter was doing much more and we went through almost 2 months with the twins of just playing catch up. I am *really* excited about being able to sit up and play. They already love interacting with each other, and I imagine it's going to get to be tons more fun!

It's a task with a two year old and infant twins. Some days I think I'm going insane! We spend an afternoon a week driving to Starbucks and back so I can have a rare bit of caffeine and regain my cool. I feel like we totally crash Leche League and API meetings with the troop, so we've been a tad isolated lately. I don't see it improving on the cusp of flu/RSV season because I think we're planning to stick very close to home.

I am really fortunate to have a supportive husband and a mother's helper. I think I would be in no shape to care for my children without the vast amount of encouragement, help, and cheering I get from them. I bow down to anyone handling infant twins plus a toddler, or more, alone!

Breastfeeding is going well. We ran into one of their nurses from their NICU stay and she couldn't get over how big they've gotten in six months. They still seem tiny to me, and their weight is something I fret over all the time - they are both right at 13 pounds and their lowest weights in the NICU were right at 4 pounds. There's plenty of pee and poop and they are happy campers, I'm just a natural worry wart!

For the most part, the girls sleep a 6-8 hour stretch each night. That has been a true lifesaver. I dealt with awful sleep deprivation with Rachel and very likely should've sought help for PPD. With the sleep and the pure amount of time that I gogogo, I haven't felt like I'm depressed this time around.

I think a support thread is awesome! I've heard this is the worst time, but I don't know about chasing three toddlers around a playground either!
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#10 of 41 Old 10-15-2006, 05:53 PM
 
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Count me in! Mine were born 3/29 so they are 6 months now. It hasn't gotten any easier but I'm holding out hope.....
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#11 of 41 Old 10-16-2006, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Cindi & midwestmom- good to "see" you again!!

Rotisserie nursing! this is what i end up doing too. i start by putting them in their crib together when they first fall asleep so i can get a few things done and get our 3yo settled in our bed. then after they wake up, DH goes to get them and brings them in to start the all night nursing bonanza that is the rest of my night- F wakes up, nurse, we have just fallen back to sleep when.... I wakes up and nurses, we have just fallen back asleep when... etc.

i'm not really enjoying nursing day or night right now. seperate or tandem, it's just not fun and special- it's time-consuming and stressful. but i'm holding out hope that as the get older it'll become the same type of special relationship that it was with my DD.

i'm just tired of the chaos and we seem to all have a perpetual cold right now- probably due to a lack of decent meals and sleep. but i think we're still a few months away from me being able to get back to really cooking and keeping house.

more later- gotta try to make breakfast btwn all the nursing!

Crunchy Mama to the Triad of Chaos-- DD1 (9/03) & the Twinadoes- DS and DD2 (6/06)
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#12 of 41 Old 10-16-2006, 10:13 AM
 
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Me too. Mine will be 3 months on the 21st.
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#13 of 41 Old 10-16-2006, 10:46 AM
 
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Hi all!

Kate-we start our night that way too. It has helped my sanity to have an hr or two before bed to get organized, , do laundry, sit in front of the computer without a kid on my lap etc.... It is harder for me to enjoy nursing this time around too. I think it is b/c I am always fitting it in between another activity really quickly. I enjoy it more when DH is available, so I can just sit on the couch and nurse and not worry what my toddlers are doing for a few minutes. I don't ever like to complain about BF to people IRL, b/c I don't want to hear that I can quit. That is not helpful advice. I am not gonna quit. It is nice to come here and complain and know that I will just get a boost that others are feeling the same and still plugging away or from experienced mamas who say it will get easier

One thing that frustrates me with two babies is that I get one nursed and all comfy and asleep in the sling and then the other one gets hungry, so I have to take baby a out and disrupt what I have worked hard to accomplish. I haven't mastered slinging two and it sounds pretty uncomfortable.

They are smiling all of the time and starting to laugh though. That is so much fun. Their personalities are really coming out. They are sooooo different. Ava is laid back and Jude is a fireball. They were like that in my belly too.

It is getting a tad easier to take all 4 out. I took them over to DH's grandmas house for dinner last night all by my self

Melinda

mama to Joshua (9), Lily (8), Jude (6) and Ava (6)

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#14 of 41 Old 10-16-2006, 05:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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melinda- sounds like we're experiencing some of the same things- i have the just got one baby happy/alseep, other baby needs me thing too.

i also can't really discuss BF issues with people IRL-- even the folks in my twin club. they say i should supplement, but that really wouldn't help me b/c i'd feel guilty about it and i already feel bad enough about how they were born. and the crunchy mamas i know who only have single babies just can't fathom the difference so they don't give helpful support either.

does anyone else feel like their diet has gone down the drain? i was sooo meticulous about what i ate while i was preggo with them, but now i struggle to get anything on the table and a balanced diet seems beyond me. i'm sure a better diet would improve how i feel these days, but since hiring a personal chef is out....

uppp- baby girl awake...

Crunchy Mama to the Triad of Chaos-- DD1 (9/03) & the Twinadoes- DS and DD2 (6/06)
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#15 of 41 Old 10-16-2006, 06:12 PM
 
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Err, you can count me in, but my girls are a month earlier - nine weeks tomorrow.
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#16 of 41 Old 10-16-2006, 06:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 1stTimeMummytoLore View Post
i also can't really discuss BF issues with people IRL-- even the folks in my twin club. they say i should supplement, but that really wouldn't help me b/c i'd feel guilty about it and i already feel bad enough about how they were born. and the crunchy mamas i know who only have single babies just can't fathom the difference so they don't give helpful support either.
exactly!

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does anyone else feel like their diet has gone down the drain? i was sooo meticulous about what i ate while i was preggo with them, but now i struggle to get anything on the table and a balanced diet seems beyond me. i'm sure a better diet would improve how i feel these days, but since hiring a personal chef is out....
Yes, I feel this way too. Diet is very important to our family. We normally eat mostly organic whole foods-I really try to make most things from scratch. Well, that is a bit hard right now (or nearly impossible) and it is driving me nuts. I REALLY need to start meal planning more and prepping more on weekends, I guess. The personal chef is out for us too. I am trying to get into crock pot cooking more. We did do CSA this year and I bought some bulk organic meat for my deep freeze and I belong to a coop. That helps some.

Well.....it is time for me to start getting dinner ready-haha.

Melinda

mama to Joshua (9), Lily (8), Jude (6) and Ava (6)

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#17 of 41 Old 10-16-2006, 07:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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crazy! we have bulk organic meat in our deep freeze and belong to a coop too. didn't do the csa this year b/c i can't make the pick-ups. the crock pot helps a little b/c mornings have a tendency to be somewhat calmer but i only have so many crock pot meals in my head. need to get some more.

off to eat our crock pot dinner!!

Crunchy Mama to the Triad of Chaos-- DD1 (9/03) & the Twinadoes- DS and DD2 (6/06)
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#18 of 41 Old 10-16-2006, 10:39 PM
 
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We crock pot meals almost daily... I found a great recipe book with meals that we actually will eat. At first, we seemed to be finding nothing but stew-like recipes - and this branches far out from stew and soup.

It's by Pillsbury and Amazon has it here.

We sub in organic chicken for most all the beef and pork recipes, and I don't make the meals with cheese or cream, and we've still found 10-12 new recipes from it!
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#19 of 41 Old 10-16-2006, 11:39 PM
 
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Hi all, we're doing o.k. here. My 2yo dd has adjusted to the boys' arrival and is back to being a regular old 2yo--which means she's still often the trickiest to deal with! I'm very glad to be beyond the new-newborn phase, especially now that the boys are all smiles and giggles. I have rare moments of hubris where I'm pretty sure I've got this twin thing figured out...then I remember that I haven't showered in 3 days!
As for nursing, they do it mostly for "fun" and comfort a couple of times a day, but have never picked it up as hoped, despite much $$ spent on LC's and nursing paraphernalia. I pump (still) for them and exceed their needs. I've been fortunate to have had a couple of months where I pumped about 80 ozs a day, so also have a really good freezer stash to fall back on. When people suggest that just quitting would be easier, I have to remind them that their really is no "easier" with twins, no matter what. So, we'll just continue to do what works for us. About 3 weeks ago I tried to get them to take over for the pump, but that experiment failed miserably as their sucks are just too weak. Oh, well. The up-side is that they have a fairly predictable routine together. They take a good morning nap, so I can try to prep stuff for dinner and both (for now) sleep about 8 hours at night. Wish I could bank sleep now for the future when they're cutting teeth or going through other developmental milestones when I know that good thing will go out the window!
I've lately found myself trying to appear as calm and "pulled together" as possible around family (especially MIL who pointedly asks, "How's it going?" with the tone of voice that implies she's dying to know of our latest struggle) and friends to show we've got the twins & toddler thing down pat and wonder why I feel I have to do that. Anyone else, or is it just my own personal mania?
As for eating...we're gradually weaning ourselves off of convenience foods, but still hopelessly attached to the crock-pot, too! My personal fave is The Everything Slow Cooker cookbook--they have an awesome Spinach Feta Chicken recipe in there. Right after the boys were born I simply could not eat enough sugar and junk to fill me, day after day. I'm not normally a sweets person, so it really took me by surprise. But, overall, we're starting to eat better again with a few nights of pizza thrown in here and there!
Glad to hear you all are well. Take care!

Cindi, mama to Hannah (7/04) :, Eli & Sam (6/06) :
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#20 of 41 Old 10-17-2006, 12:10 AM
 
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crazy! we have bulk organic meat in our deep freeze and belong to a coop too. didn't do the csa this year b/c i can't make the pick-ups. the crock pot helps a little b/c mornings have a tendency to be somewhat calmer but i only have so many crock pot meals in my head. need to get some more.

off to eat our crock pot dinner!!


Anna and Cindi-thanks for the cookbook recs!

Quote:
I've lately found myself trying to appear as calm and "pulled together" as possible around family (especially MIL who pointedly asks, "How's it going?" with the tone of voice that implies she's dying to know of our latest struggle) and friends to show we've got the twins & toddler thing down pat and wonder why I feel I have to do that. Anyone else, or is it just my own personal mania?
Cindi-I do this too. That is really funny, b/c I thought I was the only one with this crazy need. People always comment on how laid back and calm I am with 4 kids age 3 and under. Good thing that they aren't in my head. My head is going a million miles an hr. My husband knows the real truth, poor guy. I don't know why I do this to myself! I guess people want to pity me for having 4 kids so close in age and this ticks me off b/c I LOVE my kids and wouldn't change a thing. They are always asking me how I do it. Well, do I have a choice?? I just do it.: Life is alittle better for everyone if I try to have a smile on my face vs. being bitchy all of the time, KWIM?

Anyway, off to eat the oatmeal cookies I just made: . All 4 kids are asleep right now .

mama to Joshua (9), Lily (8), Jude (6) and Ava (6)

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#21 of 41 Old 10-17-2006, 03:58 PM
 
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I just wanted to say that I wish some of you ladies were my neighbors. I think we could all have a really good (albeit crazy, chaotic, kid-filled) time IRL.
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#22 of 41 Old 10-17-2006, 04:41 PM
 
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I just wanted to say that I wish some of you ladies were my neighbors. I think we could all have a really good (albeit crazy, chaotic, kid-filled) time IRL.
me too!

mama to Joshua (9), Lily (8), Jude (6) and Ava (6)

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#23 of 41 Old 10-17-2006, 04:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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AAARRRGGG!!!!!

so here's how my early afternoon went: left a playdate when 3yo DD had become an exhausted non-functioning heap of tears. got home, asked my live-in sis to watch the babes while i settled the eldest who can't/doesn't go to sleep w/o someone to lay down w/ her. go upstairs to settle her (still crying b/c she doesn't want to nap) and 2 minutes later hear DS hungry crying, so i tell DD1 that i'll go nurse him & then i'll be back. sent my sis to take her a cup of water to help her calm down. nurse DS to sleep, put him in the crib. DD1 still crying in her bed. by this time DD2 is hungry crying, so i get her & take her in to DD1's room. the 3 of us lay down and DD1 falls asleep while i'm nursing DD2 who also falls asleep but stays latched on. i fall asleep too thinking wow this is good everybody gets a nap. about 30 minutes later DS wakes up crying in crib. my sis is in the basement & doesn't hear him. i'm now stuck- do i get up to get him and wake the sleeping girls who will then be fussy and undernapped? or do i let him cry? ended up untangling myself from the girls and getting him when he started to sound hysterical. sat down in the easy chair in my room to nurse him and 5 minutes later DD2 starts crying which wakes up DD1 who starts crying making DS freak out at all the noise and also cry.

my favorite.

the trifecta of tears!

how do i get my totally sleep deprived toddler a much needed nap amidst the chaos of the twins????

Crunchy Mama to the Triad of Chaos-- DD1 (9/03) & the Twinadoes- DS and DD2 (6/06)
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#24 of 41 Old 10-17-2006, 09:27 PM
 
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how do i get my totally sleep deprived toddler a much needed nap amidst the chaos of the twins????
Honestly, I just gave up for several months. My dd decided she was done napping exactly a week before I had the twins. Lovely. On days when she was REALLY hysterically in need of sleep, I'd let her watch Dora (yeah, I know...) & usually she'd doze off. Or at least she'd relax & have a bit of down time (again, I know . Amazingly....fast forward a few months. She now climbs up on the couch with pillow & blanket or sets up her pop up tent & crawl inside with pillow & blanket ON HER OWN to take a nap on the days when she needs one.
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#25 of 41 Old 10-18-2006, 11:18 PM
 
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I also just gave up on sleeping for a few months. It did help my attitude and I felt better all around to just accept that I wouldn't get any real sleep.

We are at almost 18 months, so I won't say anything more.

Courtney wife to geek.gif and mom to 4 boys: chicken3.gif   . I need caffix.gif !
They're not typos. . . I can't spell!
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#26 of 41 Old 10-19-2006, 01:25 AM
 
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AAARRRGGG!!!!!



how do i get my totally sleep deprived toddler a much needed nap amidst the chaos of the twins????
Ummmm, her own apartment??? My little girl has also had more than her fair share of days with little circles under her eyes!

Cindi, mama to Hannah (7/04) :, Eli & Sam (6/06) :
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#27 of 41 Old 10-19-2006, 01:41 PM
 
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Kate-sounds like an afternoon at my house!

Ilovelife-I hope my older two get to that point! My 3 yr old is deciding now to wean is nap (ok fine) and my 2 yr old thinks she should too-NOT. 2 cranky toddlers at dinner time is not what I need right now!

Courtney-ITA that once you decide that sleep just isn't gonna happen, things seem alittle better-lol.

Cindi-I forgot to mention earlier that I think it is awesome that you are pumping and keeping up so nicely. I am totally jealous of the 80 oz per day. My body never has responded well to the pump.

What are your favorite slings right now? Who is double slinging (I know Kate does) and what do you use?

mama to Joshua (9), Lily (8), Jude (6) and Ava (6)

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#28 of 41 Old 10-19-2006, 09:58 PM
 
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We don't double sling, but I would love to see some ideas from people that do so AND have the need to chase/pick-up a 30-pound toddler. I always feel a bit jittery with both twins in carriers and trying to lean over, stoop down, etc.

Generally, I wear one baby in a mei tai or moby wrap and the other baby and my toddler ride in the stroller. My toddler also still fits very well in our Kozy, but she much prefers to walk or ride. I know it's money well spent on the Kozy, it's made it this long with many a wash in the past two years!

We also have a mei tai from meitaicarriers.com and I love it from about 6 months to a year... I like the higher head coverage on the Kozy but love having less bulk as they get squirmy. The model I have was made before she changed her strap padding, so wearing my chunky toddler was too rough on my back. My Kozy seems to be more padded.
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#29 of 41 Old 10-19-2006, 10:25 PM
 
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I am loving my mai tei best too-I have a babyhawk. I have the reg one. I would like the XT or new one with a headrest for sleeping easier. I love my hotsling, but I think I could use a size up right now even though I am just about at pre-preg weight. It just feels smaller right now.

mama to Joshua (9), Lily (8), Jude (6) and Ava (6)

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#30 of 41 Old 10-19-2006, 10:43 PM
 
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I've mostly been using the Hotsling lately w/just one baby. The other is either carried by dh, in a stroller, or if at home, in a swing. The times I've tried wearing both (2 pouches, 2 ring slings or combo), it became a freak-out festival for both boys. Too squished, I think. I'm waiting on an MT w/minkee from Canada that looks an awful lot like a BabyHawk--wondering if it will EVER get here! (Wish they had a smiley of me tapping my foot impatiently next to the mailbox!) I hope to be able to use the MT on the back and pouch or Ergo on the front, or some such combo.

Cindi, mama to Hannah (7/04) :, Eli & Sam (6/06) :
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