taking time to pump??? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-07-2003, 02:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was wondering how many SAHMs take time to pump. I am exculsively breastfeeding. MY twins are 6 months old and I had not started giving them solids yet. In the beginning I pumped quite a bit to make sure I had plenty of milk and also they slept more and I had time. Now they are awake so much more and if I have any time at all when they are napping (rare occasions these are) I want to spend time with my 3 1/2 yr. old or get some cleaning done. The problem is my partner and friends all think I should be pumping so I can get out. Truthfully I don't have the energy, to pump or to get out!!!!! I know they miss spending time with me away form the babes but the last thing I feel like doing is trying to fit anything else in my schedule. I feel when they are a little older and eating some solids it will give me some time away. What are some other mother's of twin's thoughts on this????
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Old 05-07-2003, 11:25 AM
 
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Yup... I recall it getting VERY hard around 6 months. I too had nursed and pumped (after almost every nursing and twice in the middle of the night.. at least 8x/day), but then around 6 months I just could not take it anymore. I was pumping all the time to keep production up, and pumping in the middle of the night (twice) when babies were fast asleep! I never left the house, I never had time to myself, and I started getting really depressed. I was DONE! So I made the decision to stop pumping and just nurse, and within a week I had to start supplementing with formula here and there because my supply was dwindling. They got about 1/4 formula and 3/4 me for a couple of months. Now they get more like 50/50 I guess, though I don't know for sure. I nurse frequently, but I think it's a lot more comfort nursing that feeding... since they eat mostly solids now. They still down 2 8-oz. bottles of formula a day, the rest is me (several times per day each).

So... I think you should do what you are comfortable with. If that's exclusively nursing, so be it and your friends will have to deal. You may be one of the few blessed who can do that with no impact to milk supply. If so, hurray! If it's continuing to pump and nurse, or pumping a few times to save for a bottle or two so you can escape (or even shower!!) then that will have to do. And you know what (so stone me because this is SO not AP), if it means switching to formula because that's what you need to do to survive, don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that. You do what you have to do. It needs to work for your babies and for YOU. I think almost every mama of twins has done something differently. We all have to compromise sometimes and no one feels good about it, but it's survival.

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Old 05-07-2003, 11:31 AM
 
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I agree with TwinMommy in the sense that you should do what feels right for you. If you feel like what you are doing is fine, in terms of how you feed the babes, then there is no need to change it. It IS true that you lack time for yourself, but it doesn't last forever. If your friends suggest you should pump so you can get out because they want to see you, why don't you suggest they come over and just hang out with you and your family, or help you clean or cook? I personally found it hardest before six months, and then it gradually got easier. I agree it seemed to coincide with additions to their diets and spacing of feedings. At the same time, those middle of the night pumpings when they slept a bit too long for my physical comfort were also a pain. . .
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Old 05-07-2003, 02:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the support. It does seem that my friends would like me to visit them solo. I would love if they would come over and help out around the house (maybe just to hold a baby) but this is not the case. I am fortunate to have enough milk whether or not I pump. I feel grateful for that. I will keep that in mind when I get down about trying to please everyone. I do need to do what is best for myself and my babes. If my friends and my partner want me to get out they will just have to wait.
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Old 05-08-2003, 03:10 AM
 
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You know, I just started solids with my 8-month olds and felt guilty buying formula to mix in their cereal, but I simply did not want to take the time to pump. Their first couple of feedings, I hid in the corner of the kitchen sqeezing milk directly into their bowls - not very comfortable or time-effecient.

Anyway, now I can get out on the weekend for 3-4 hours because if I nurse right before I leave, but the babies seem hungry while I'm gone, dh feels comfortable becaue he know he can give them some cereal.

For us, this was our only option because my twins have refused bottles since day one.

But it sounds like for you may be only a couple of months away from doing something similar depending on how they take to solids.
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Old 05-16-2003, 01:11 PM
 
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I don't do it. We do still have a bit of milk left that is still good. But Tristyn doesn't take a bottle anyway. The longest I go out without them is a couple of hours and my mom just gives them water from a cup and pureed fruit.

If I have free time away from my babies, I use it to go do errands not visit friends. I am all about me right now. Everyone but me and my kids has to take a back seat!

I vote tell them that you are doing the best you can and when they are a little older you might can manage it, but DO NOT stress yourself for someone else's expectations!! It is wearing enough to stress ourselves for our own!

Are you sure they will take a bottle anyway? How long has it been since they have had one? You could always say they refuse the bottle and then no one can say anything (or they'll start bugging you to start solids - lol).

Good luck!
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Old 05-16-2003, 05:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I recently pumped and went out with my partner and they ended up not wanting the bottles. Well, that's that. They have just started drinking water from a cup and I've been introducing some mashed fruit. Funny you should just reply LaraLou. I think that I will try that when I go out. When were your twins born. Mine were 11/17/02. I hear you about it being all about myself or my kids. If I did have time away from the wee ones I would love to go on a walk by myself or take out my 3 1/2 yr old, or maybe even clean the house. Why is it that it is so common for eveyone to encourage a mother to leave her babeis anyway? I enjoy getting out with them. We have many friends who we visit and I just bring the slings wear them untill they fall asleep and then put them down in a quiet space.
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Old 05-18-2003, 08:05 PM
 
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Mine were born 11-14-02. We are at the exact same place.

Do yours have any teeth? Mine just did cut a tooth apiece. One today and one yesterday.

The only time I want to go out without them is if I have a lot of in-and-out errands. It is so much work to get both babies out of the carseats and into the slings, then out of the slings and into the carseats for a 2 minute errand ten times in a row. I save up all my little errands and do them when my mom can watch them.

I wouldn't mind seeing a movie. We did a couple of movies with them (well, more like 6) but they aren't sleeping as much now and it is hit or miss for whether or not they'll cry during the movie.

I don't know why everyone wants you to leave your babies except that our country is so anti-baby. People act like it is a crime when they cry. Sheesh! I would love to live somewhere - Sweden maybe- where babies are valued and treated with regard.
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Old 05-24-2003, 02:17 AM
 
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I would let your family and fiends know that your family comes first and you have a very important job to do right now and you need all the support you can get and not any negative views! It is hard for people to judge that have not been there.
I get out to meet my old work buddies about once a month and I either bring them along or have my husband watch them for an hour and i make sure I nurse before I leave. Other then that I don't get out without them. They are almost 2 so they are not 100% dependant on my milk but you would think they are as much as they drink it still!
One of my best friends is having a huge elaborate wedding next month and made it adult only for the wedding and reception and she lives 3 hours away. Well she expects me to come and just leave the twins at home! I said sorry they have never been away from me at night and still nurse too much to leave them and they have never taken a bottle. We have been friends since toddlers but we have totally differnet lifestyles. She has never had children and just doesn't get that kids are not disposable. You have to be strong in your decisions and support what you and your family need to make it all work out!
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Old 05-24-2003, 11:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love the image of you carrying your two in slings, LaraLou. I do that so often with mine and it becomes more regular as time goes on. They are so woderful when we are out just being cuddled next to me. Lucas has 2 teeth and Ezekiel jsut cut his 1st today. They have been so cranky. I think I might go crazy. Wait, already there. I went to the doctor's yesterday while my mother-in-law watch my munchkins and it went smooth. She said they were content and had fun. That is the 1st time in a while I have been out solo (w/out partner or kids). It felt so odd. I kept wishing I had at least brought one babe to wear. I felt naked. Wow, Angie, you are hardcore! Truely an inspiration How is it nursing 2 two yr. olds? I nursed my oldest till he was 2 1/2 yrs. Then I weaned him cold turkey because I would get so much cramping in my uterus. I promised him he could resume when his brothers were born. He would try and sneak milk right up untill they were born. Then when they were born I let him try and he said he didn't like it. That was that and he hasn't wanted to try it since. I still get a little sad that we stopped ealier then we might have had I didn't have to wean him during my pregnancy.
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Old 05-25-2003, 01:49 AM
 
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I too had to stop nursing my then 2 1/2 year old when I was carrying the twins. I didn't feel the cramping when I nursed but was so extremly sick with morning sickness that it seemed worse when I nursed him plus my breasts were so tender it was extreme pain when he latched on and nursed. i too felt such guilt and hated that I had to stop. We had such a close relationship and then he became daddies boy! I also felt bad becasue he was still sleeping with us and we had to convert him to his own bed and that did not go well plus he had issues with potty training at the time. I feel so bad for him with all the things he had to tackle at one time! I still feel so guilty when I see the boredom or desperation of wanting someone to play with and I can't help because I am so consumed with taking care of Amber and Jade and everything else to make a household of eight work out! Do you ever feel this way? When I do get a break and all I want is a few minutes to myself here Bryce comes with his toys for me to play with him. Of course I can't say no but I am sure he sees the lack of enthusiasm in my eyes or in my voice and then I really feel guilty! Anyone else go through this?
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Old 05-25-2003, 12:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Angie, reading your relpy hit such a chord. I feel the same way with my son. The morning sickness with my twins was so intense that I laid around so much of it telling my son that soon I would be back to my old self. Now his brother's are born he has lost me in another sense. I have such a hard time being present the precious free time we have. I have also developed such a fierce temper that I am just now getting under control. Before my 2 youngest were born I normally was very gentle and loving, working issues out as opposed to yelling and threatening to "solve" the problem. I now feel i need to work so hard to build back the trust we had before. My son takes every momement he see me free to ask if we can play. I try to find something that will keep my interest. Something that I can find some creativity in. Collages, clay, cooking. If we do what he really wants to do, play trucks, I can't stand it! I just want to fall asleep or meditate. Sometimes I just have to tell him I need alone time He watches far more movies than I would like now. It feels like such a copout to throw in a movie but I have yet to figure out how else to have the energy for everything. I can't imagine having a household of 8! Well, just form an oldest sibling's poitn of view. I had 5 younger siblings. Do feel guilty so much of the time? YES!! HOw are your other children doing?
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Old 05-25-2003, 09:42 PM
 
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I swear it sounds like we are sharing the same life. Bryce also comes at me with cars or action figures, really anything he can find and I feel my skin crawl! i thought I was the only one feeling this way. What a relief to know I am not! The last two days he has been playing very well with a neighbor girl and I am so happy for him. My husband just started a better paying job that also gives him more time around here too and I am so thankful because now he can help by entertaining him while I take care of the rest.
The other kids are doing fine with everything. They are so involved with school, activites, friends and family that it really hasn't bothered them too much. At first there were times I feel it did, like when I was pregnant and afraid to get far from the midwives and too big to drive anymore and then after they were born and we were stuck at home for the most part the first year. I finally feel like this summer will be a good one and we can get out and enjoy life again as a family since Amber and Jade are more mobile.
I too feel like I have a super short fuse but I think having multiples and then also having other children really puts a strain on us and eats at our nerves stressing us out in ways we have never known before! I can totally understand where you are coming from.
Bryce too watches too many cartoons but here lately we have been reading a lot more books while I nurse. I came across some that were mine when I was a child and he really is enjoying them.
I also have to say that one thing that has saved me is my MIL living so close. She has kept Bryce alot over the last 2 years so he can get days of 100% attention and he loves it! SOmetimes he will ask to stay 3 days straight and I let him becasue I know he is getting something I just am not available to give him right now. DO you have help from family?
Feel free to email me anytime and maybe we can survive this together!
Angie:
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Old 05-25-2003, 11:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My partner works 6 days a week and 5 of those are about 12 hour days. The plan was for my MIL to come and stay with us but two months before the twins were born my FIL was diagnosed with leukemia. Neither were able to be around us because his immune sysytem was compromised with chemo and you can imagine how often it was that we were all completely cold free this winter with 3 kids. My partner also ended up at his parents quite a bit in his little free time. His dad father just passed away last month and we are now moving up to be near my MIL. She is an amazing loving woman and I think things will feel much different once we are close to her. We will actually be living with her the first few months while we look for a house. I look forward to finally having the much needed help.
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Old 05-26-2003, 11:42 AM
 
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good luck and I hope everything works out great! I'm sure it will be great for your MIL to have you aroound and great for you to have some help! My husband also works 12 hour shifts but just works 3 days or nights , then off 4 days. He switches from days to nights every 4 days so we will see how this goes.
Angie
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Old 05-27-2003, 03:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am curious, how does one become a lactation consultant and do you know of any good websites on breast feeding twins and wholistic nutrition?
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Old 05-27-2003, 05:41 PM
 
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I was just wondering the same thing...
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Old 05-28-2003, 01:28 PM
 
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Thanks for asking! I had to have an A.S. degree behind me in some type of medical field already (mine was Veterinary Science) and then I had to go attend a 2 week intense course in Illinois. Then I had to take another intense 1 year long at home program which included clinical rotations at a hospital. Then we had to pass an exam to become certified. There is also another state board exam to take but I haven't had the time to get to that yet. You have to have so many hours put in seeing clients and then your are ready for the big exam! I mainly see clients by word of mouth. When I worked I saw so many clients for the company that I worked for because they supplied an on-site nursing mother's station. My family doctor also refers clients to me on occassion. I haven't really done much with it since becoming pregnant and having Amber and Jade. My plans are to open up a rental/pumping station/nursing supply store in the next few years. I don't know though money is so tight and so is my time!
As far as good websites go...Hum. This is about the best support I have found and LLL is full of great info too. I really haven't had time to do much searching on the web these days so I can not be much help with that. When the twins were first born I used to frequent a site that I found out was terrible and very anti AP so avoid it (www.twinstuff.com) . It is sad because so many multiple moms are there and it could be a load of info. if used properly but there are a few very nasty women on there! I know there were a couple of moms that started their own nursing sites but I can not remember what it was... Sorry!
Angie
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Old 06-22-2003, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have made it! My guys are now eating some solids usually daily and they love to drink some water or rice milk out of a sippy cup. This means I can go our for a few hours finally and not stress about pumping milk and also know they are getting something that they are excited about. I just wanted to thank you Angie for you reply on how one becomes a bf consultant. I never knew it was so intensive. I bet having twins has put a whole new twist on it. I don't know what I would have done without my bf consultant!!
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