Our boys (now 3-months-old) have garnered all kinds of comments about how they are dressed. No one ever seemed to care about how we dressed our singletons, aside from "aww. . .CUUUTE!".
But I think the forwardness
people show in speaking to you about this is just part of the package of how taken people are with twins and other multiples.
I think it's funny: When I dress them differently, people usually seem to be commenting with pleasure
that they are glad to have an obvious way to know which boy is which (once they've been told, they just track that outfit!).
A lot of people also say how nice it is that I don't dress them alike - this seems to be in consideration of them properly developing as individuals. I just smile and never bother pointing out to these people that sometimes I DO dress them matching or identically just because it's fun. (For the practicalities of using second-hand clothing, and spit-ups/diaper blow-outs this isn't happening OFTEN, but I enjoy it when it does work out!).
I find most of the "negative" comments when they are dressed alike are from people wishing they could identify them more easily. I'm sure lots of people think it's totally damaging to my poor babies brains, but just hold their tongues.
Thoughts from other families:
We have a friend (now a dad himself) who is an identical twin. He said that until he was 12, he didn't really have his "own" clothes b/c his mom just bought 2 of everything and always dressed them alike. In fact, everyone thought she had 2 sets of twins. 4 boys in the family and the oldest two were similar in size. So knowing she had twins that were younger, she just put the older 2 boys in matching outfits also! He didn't really seem to have any thoughts/concerns/advice about the clothes.
He said it WAS important to him and his brother that people use their names and NOT just be calling them "the twins" like they were a package. He cared more about what they were called than how they looked. (Although I realize some would argue that matching clothing promotes the notion of "one package").
We also recently spoke to the father of a friend of ours. Her sisters are identical twins. This man didn't want to be overbearing with advice, but basically said, "just don't take advice from other people". He said that fears of hampering a twin's individuality get WAY overblown, particularly as to the effect of their clothing. He said, "Face it, they do have a close bond and there ARE times where they will just WANT to dress the same".