Join Date: Jun 2006
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i understand that must be such a struggle and draining for you. i had a really hard time when my second daughter was born and my son was 18 months and you have twins. my dd cried all the time i guess she was colic which some people would call it ( i think thats the doctors way of saying they dont know whats wrong) anyway- have you considered asking for some daily help for even just a few hours? do you thin you may also be dealing with ppd? anyway i wish you luck and knolwdge that it will get better and you will get used to it all just keep pushing through and go outside that does wonders for me!
Ok wow, my twins are 4mos old and I could have written this exact post 2mos ago. My husband works a lot of hours...I was jealous that he got to leave the house from 6am-9pm at night. My girls cried all the time. It seemed like they never slept. I had NO HELP. I never got to eat..I barely got to shower, i smelled like spit up...my son wanted my attn more and more...i was tired, i was crying...it was like it all mounted and it was so hard...other moms of twins kept saying it would get better...i had people tell me to go out by myself and get a break but they didnt understand that I couldnt since I had no help and no one to babysit....my one twin had colic really bad...my other twin had gas issues....they wouldnt sleep at the same time so I always had a baby awake...when they both fell asleep, i still couldnt nap because my son needed me...at night if they happened to fall asleep at the same time, i would try to fall asleep and then one would wake up and then wake the other and then my husband would disappear into the basement because he couldnt handle it...so i was up at 1am with two screaming babies...I would cry in the shower because my husband was not sensitive to my feelings and if i cried in front of him he would get mad...my house looked like cr*ap..i had a laundry room full of dirty clothes....I TOO wanted to just walk away from it all...I figured that it was easier because otherwise having twin infants was going to be my slow death...
and then one day it was like a switch...things DID get better....gradually they started sleeping longer, they stopped spitting up as much.....Danielles colic went away...Deanna wasnt as gassy....and now they are so much fun. They are sleeping all night....they laugh..the talk to each other...they are trying to move around....They both sleep 11-12hrs, they both are on the same night and day routine so they nap together at the same time.. they are used to each other cries so they dont wake each other up.....so trust me from someone who was in your exact same shoes that it DOES get better, you are at the point where you will not believe me, but trust me it does....
I don't have twins but I saw your post and could have wrote the exact same thing! I cried so much and so hard on Thursday that my eyes were still burning and puffy late the next day! DS 27 months is *spirted* and has been making me want to pull my hair out lately. DH is gone 15 hours a day 4 days a week for work, so I feel your pain. I felt like walking out on Thursday.
Friday came and told DH exactly the way I felt and what I needed from himto stay sane, literally.
1-HELP!!!!!!!!!! Fold the laundry, take out the trash, dishes, just one job before work and after and plenty on his days off!!
2-Time to shower
3- For him to discipline our son when he is home, not to let him get away with murder as I look like the bad guy and all of him negative feels thrown at me cuz I make him follow the rules.
4- Hold the baby for longer than 1-2 minutes.
5- Help with night duty-you manage DS if he is not asking to nurse
6- Help with the kidos one after noon a week so I can cook and freeze healthy meals for the week that I can just pop in the oven.
7- Change a diaper once in a while
8- Read with DD#1, you don't even have do do anything but listen! (she's 9) so this one doesn't apply to you I guess.
9- HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! With anything!
My dh can't change his work schedule as I'm sure your DH has little control over his with school and work. But what about encouraging him not to take over time, to stay home as much as possible and even possibly drop a class or two so you can stay sane and he can help out! If this is not an option plead with him not to take summer school. And focus on the facct that is x amount of days until the end of term.....
HUGS and more HUGS!!!!!!!!
I am sorry, and I do appreciate your attempt at giving advice, and I hope this isn't too harsh- but your post was extremely out of place here.
I don't care how many kids you have... unless you have dealt with two extremely needy newborns, no. You have NO idea. And when people with singletons tell MoMs that "they know how we feel," it really negates the whole thing.
Again, I appreciate your response, but posting here trying to sympathize would be like posting to the SN forum saying you know what it's like to have an SN/disabled kid because your DC broke their arm once.
"Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)
hey i hope i did not offend you when i asked if you though tt was ppd . i was just trying to point things out.
anyway i knwo things will get better for you in time they will. you will learn a better routine and learn about your kids more not that you dont know them already but better. you will figure out how to do things more efficently and life will get easier.
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