I'm so confused (I'm pregnant with fraternal twins) - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-11-2007, 02:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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http://www.ibnlive.com/news/vegan-mo.../10981-17.html

I mean WHAT THE HELL? The only thing I can point to is my age (I'm 31), the fact I (we) didn't START to conceive until I was 31, plus I was on birth control pills for 12 years? I would think my being vegan would have made me much less likely to have twins. I've learned the family connection there actually isn't a relation because my grandfather's male sibling had IDENTICAL twins (which according to some studies I've read aren't related at all to likelihood to having fraternal twins). To my knowledge there are NO fraternal twins at ALL in my family. Jesse just wants to think this is a fluke or "luck" but I can't help but think I did something to contribute to this!

We DID wait at least 3 months after I stopped taking the birth control to try and conceive. Maybe my body was reacting in overdrive? Also I'd ran a 1/2 marathon right previous to conceiving. Could that have wacked out my body? My weight hadn't fluctuated or anything though except for I'd gained 9 pounds during those 3 weeks we were in Germany Austria and Czech Republic (but I attest that to not having run at ALL during the trip and eating whatever the heck I wanted, but I STILL hardly ate any dairy I swear!)

I'm stumped and I know I should just "ACCEPT", but I can't help feeling this is my fault heh. Maybe it's cause I had a pastry with dairy in it in Austria (lol) but seriously I RARELY eat dairy. I've been vegan 99% since 1997. I swear even when I was a vegetarian as a KID I never ate eggs or even cow's milk THEN. I'm just so confused

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 08-11-2007, 02:52 PM
 
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Your age does increase your chance of having fraternal twins, and other than that, well, sometimes these things do just randomly happen.

I guess I don't understand why, at this point, it matters whether or not any of the things you did increased your chances of having fraternal twins? Would it make you feel better to have a specific explanation, something you could point to and say THAT, there, that's why?

I question the article's suggestion that fraternal twinning is entirely the result of heredity and diet. There are other factors in the mix. Anyway, the article doesn't say that vegan women don't have fraternal twins, just that they are less likely to do so. Looks like you're one of the lucky few.

Oh - and your grandfather's siblings wouldn't have much effect on your genetic chances even if they were fraternal: twinning is passed through the maternal line. If they were your grandmother's siblings, that would be different. Nonetheless, determining for sure that a pair of twins is identical and not fraternal takes a fairly sophisticated blood test.
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Old 08-11-2007, 05:12 PM
 
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I guess I don't really even know what to say other then Congratulations? You sound dismayed and I am sure that it this has come as a shock that you are getting the two for one deal ( I always tease my mom about this, as I am a fraternal twin and she didn't even know she was having twins until she was in the delivery room). I guess I feel sad for you that you think you are getting twins because you did something or ate something wrong. I hope all works out well for you and the babies. (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

M : proud mama to B (16) : and G (8) and : x 2 :
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Old 08-11-2007, 08:50 PM
 
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I have 4 1/2 year old fraternals. Admittedly I was omni at the time (still eating chicken but that was it) but I was 24, never been on birth control OR fertility treatment and while there was one set of fraternals that Mum's sister had she has the only recorded fraternals in the entire family history so was told she was a "freak of nature" I didn't even find out until 21 weeks that I was having twins as no one suspected.

I'm not quite sure what to make of your post like the others. Are you happy? Or devastated? I was in shock for a long time. I cried for the first hour, then I thought it was the best thing ever, then I was shocked again, then I was just plain terrified once we started getting the 2nd bassinette/cot/highchair etc.

I'll say congratulations and hope that you are at least somewhat happy about this in your panic somewhere. (and there's plenty of us twin Mummy's on here if you need advice or a shoulder!)
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Old 08-11-2007, 11:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm VERY scared. I want to be excited trust me (and I feel guilty for being this way) but I don't know how to get my head around around HOW IN THE HECK AM I GONNA DO THIS ??????????????

I'm just really in a LOT of shock (never expected this). I'm seeing a counselor and gonna get involved in a mothering multiples support group.

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 08-11-2007, 11:52 PM
 
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It says "Vegan moms less likely to have twins," not "It is impossible for vegan moms to have twins."

Congratulations on your double blessings. Stop looking for "blame," you'll never know why it happened.
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Old 08-12-2007, 12:23 AM
 
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I'm VERY scared. I want to be excited trust me (and I feel guilty for being this way) but I don't know how to get my head around around HOW IN THE HECK AM I GONNA DO THIS ??????????????

I'm just really in a LOT of shock (never expected this). I'm seeing a counselor and gonna get involved in a mothering multiples support group.
You'll do just fine! I know it's terrifying wondering what on earth you're going to do with 2 babies but you CAN do it!!! It's tougher than one, I won't lie to you but you'll survive (and when the initial panic is over it's terribly exciting to have 2!!!)

Do you have supportive parents and in laws? It's amazing the difference just an extra set of hands can make at the beginning too.
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Old 08-12-2007, 12:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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we are blessed with the support. It's just it took my husband and I years to decide Hey we're gonna do it! We've ALWAYS (both) wanted kids but have REEALLYY enjoyed our time "together' too. I can't help but wonder is this God's punishment for me waiting? lol

please know I am overall wanting this and trying to be excited but I can't even CONCEIVE of thinking of being able to manage TWO. I'm not even a mom of ONE yet !

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 08-12-2007, 02:38 AM
 
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I know two moms who had 3 kids then had surprise pgs that were twins. Both were shocked and felt kind of like you do now. One now has 2yo's and the other is about to deliver any day. I know that the one with 2yo's says it's totally different than having just 1 but it is doable. Congrats!
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Old 08-12-2007, 06:04 AM
 
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Hey - the really cool thing is that veg*n mums are more likely to carry twins all the way to term :-)
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Old 08-12-2007, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey - the really cool thing is that veg*n mums are more likely to carry twins all the way to term :-)
really? How do you know that? THAT really calms me down.

thanks for the positive vibes everyone

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 08-12-2007, 10:23 PM
 
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I don't have the reference - but I was told it by an eminent UK midwife. Part based on its own study into the presence of green and orange veg in the diet and pregnancy term, and part on longitudial data :-)
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Old 08-12-2007, 10:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I believe you

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 08-13-2007, 01:38 PM
 
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You know, this thought just occurred to me - how do you know they're fraternal? From my understanding, it's very difficult to definitively detect in utero, unless you know they're different sexes (which it seems too early for you to know if you're due in Jan). They could just as likely be identical, which would make it just a totally random fluke. Would that make you feel better? Either way, you will handle it, I promise!
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Old 08-13-2007, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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from the ultrasound they detected 2 separate amniotic sacs and placentas

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 08-13-2007, 06:45 PM
 
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from the ultrasound they detected 2 separate amniotic sacs and placentas
They can still be identical. It depends on when the egg split if there are 2 sacs or 1, 2 placentas or 1.

From wikipedia:
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When one egg is fertilized by one sperm cell, and then divides and separates, two identical cells will result. If the zygote splits very early (in the first 2 days after fertilization) they may develop separate placentas (chorion) and separate sacs (amnion). These are called dichorionic, diamniotic (or "di/di") twins, which occurs 20-30% of the time. Most of the time in identical twins the zygote will split after 2 days, resulting in a shared placenta, but two separate sacs. These are called monochorionic, diamniotic ("mono/di") twins. In about 1% of identical twins the splitting occurs late enough to result in both a shared placenta and a shared sac called; monochorionic, monoamniotic ("mono/mono") twins. Finally, the zygote may split extremely late, resulting in conjoined twins.
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Old 08-13-2007, 08:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm confused. We were TOLD we are having fraternal twins. Now I'm more scared than ever

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 08-14-2007, 12:21 AM
 
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Identical twins are nothing to be scared of -- we have 6 sets of them btwn my parents' siblings & cousins and my siblings & cousins.

I wouldn't, at this point, worry that much about whether they are identical or fraternal. Just work on getting used to the idea of two. They will be a blessing either way, once you get over the shock.
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Old 08-14-2007, 12:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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it's just there are so many issues, like societal pressures and such, I would expect with stigmatism of identicals (I would imagine they'd have more complexes about their IDENTITY, right?). I am so stressed about this I am thinking even wayyy into the future like when they are teenagers. My head's been : ever since finding out two and I'm sorry but my coping strategies SUCK. At least with fraternal they'd be like "normal" brother and sister, right? Obviously I'm not cut out for EITHER CASE!

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 08-14-2007, 03:37 AM
 
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it's just there are so many issues, like societal pressures and such, I would expect with stigmatism of identicals (I would imagine they'd have more complexes about their IDENTITY, right?). I am so stressed about this I am thinking even wayyy into the future like when they are teenagers. My head's been : ever since finding out two and I'm sorry but my coping strategies SUCK. At least with fraternal they'd be like "normal" brother and sister, right? Obviously I'm not cut out for EITHER CASE!
Physically yes, I find my girls have some odd quirks that you don't find in siblings but do find in twins. And do try not to panic quite so much! It WILL be okay!!! I know it's so much to wrap your head around, believe me, I was an emotional wreck for a while once we found out but once they're here instinct kicks in and you do great. Plus like you said, you have plenty of family support which is the most important thing and you're joining the mothers of multiples club (not sure what it's called in the US). Just try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy as much as women can "enjoy" pregnancy.

Yes, there will be tough times and possibly more so than with one baby but on the other side of the scale the joy and happiness is doubled as well (and the best bit is that you get 2 children for the price of a single pregnancy ).
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Old 08-16-2007, 01:26 AM
 
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Hey Monkey---

I am 100% vegan and I am pg with twins, too. They told me that mine are fraternal as well. It's funny how women without the dairy hormones in them aren't supposed to be as likely to conceive twins, but it turns out that twins run in my family.

It's gonna be A-OK! I am psyched to have 2 babes!

Mama to lovely twin girls 1/08
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Old 08-16-2007, 03:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks yogafeet. Now I don't feel so "alone" ! (and a freak haha)

I really appreciate everyone's encouraging words. I'm just so shocked and trying to "process". Don't know anyone with twins and of course never thought it would happen to me. It's hard to think positive and be happy about it when I'm NOWHERE in a financial state to care for them, etc. Somehow I know it will (HAVE) to work out though!

Melanie, vegan mommy to twin girls born Dec. 2007, and another little girl born Sept. 25th, 2009!
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Old 08-16-2007, 04:14 PM
 
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I would expect with stigmatism of identicals (I would imagine they'd have more complexes about their IDENTITY, right?)
I haven't noticed any stigmatism (other than annoying old people who think it's funny to ask if they're related ) and they have no problems with identity. Granted they're 8, but so far so good.

Twins are great! Congrats!
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Old 08-16-2007, 04:16 PM
 
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of course never thought it would happen to me
I didn't either. everyone tells me "oh I always wanted twins!" well, good for you. I never did. They weren't even on my radar!

They're not that expensive.
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Old 08-16-2007, 05:13 PM
 
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Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I am moving this thread to Parenting Multiples as it no longer pertains to the Veg Forum. I am sure you will find some wonderful support and experience here.

peace,
Shantimama
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Old 08-16-2007, 10:49 PM
 
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I just wanted to pipe up (late!) and say that it's okay to be freaked out and have a hard time being happy. I myself felt that way for so very long. I never wanted twins, I was just scared and stressed any time I imagined having twins, and both the pregnancy and the newborn weeks were incredibly hard for me. I wouldn't give them back for the world, ever, but there have been many times I really wish I could have had them one at a time.

It's only recently, in the last month or two, that I can get past the freaked out feeling and start to feel pure joy at having two such beautiful babies. It took awhile, and I used to feel horribly guilty at how ambivalent my feelings were.

You gotta be easy on yourself. It's not easy, and it's a perfectly rational and reasonable reaction to be upset and freaked out.

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Old 08-16-2007, 11:52 PM
 
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You know, this thought just occurred to me - how do you know they're fraternal? From my understanding, it's very difficult to definitively detect in utero, unless you know they're different sexes (which it seems too early for you to know if you're due in Jan). They could just as likely be identical, which would make it just a totally random fluke. Would that make you feel better? Either way, you will handle it, I promise!
Exactly what I was thinking. And I'm glad someone else beat me to the education bit.

I'm putting money down now on identicals for you. I was right about my own - at 9 weeks I said "it's identical girls" and sure enough, that's what I have. I guess we'll see in January!

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:57 PM
 
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I really don't know what to say. You have been blessed with a pregnacy and I understand the fear that it is double the fun but I really think trying to find blame is pointless, it is what it is and it is a blessing. We will never know why things happen but they do. Congratulations, and I hope you find peace in your excting journey. If you can run marathons you can do twins!

Living DAIRY AND GLUTEN FREE for my SPD and Aspergers Little Man.
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:07 AM
 
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I can completely understand the shock. I believe my exact words were " you've gotta be f*ing kidding me" when the U/S Tech told me. *breath* it's going to be ok. MOST likely they are fraternal twins since Identical twins are rare and di/di identicals are even more rare (most share a placenta, but not all). You didn't "cause" anything and I believe that 31 is not considered advanced maternal age. Oh and don't worry about stigma... everyone is just going to assume twins run in your family even if they don't, heck even if you have identicals (which don't run in families). Just eat well, make sure you eat enough protein (this is completely doable on a vegan diet too) and try to enjoy this. Twin pregnancy is stressful, I won't lie, but it's better to not get overly stressed over little things. You CAN do it, you will do it and everything will be JUST fine. People will think you are supermom, but you just do what you have to. I've been told it's easier having twins first because then you don't know any different. You're having twins! How special is that! Congratz mama!

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Old 08-17-2007, 12:08 AM
 
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You can defintiely do it. It's daunting at first but you can do it! I would definitely suggest seeking out your local mother of twins club. You can look at the National Mother of Twins club website at www.nomotc.org

Good luck!
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