Toddler Twins & Shyness - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-15-2003, 03:06 PM - Thread Starter
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Hey mamas,

My twin girls are almost 2 1/2, and they seem to really hang back together when we're out among other kids. They're not afraid of other people, they just get clingy & shy when we're out, and stick together. And this happens even when we're with kids/families they know really well!

For example, we go to a weekly playgroup, and they always end up playing quietly together away from the group. They go to nursery school two mornings a week, and when I've peeked in on them there, it's the same thing (though they do interact with the teachers and the younger babies at school).

DH took them to a bday party last week, and commented on it when he got back. It was then that I realized they pretty much do this wherever we go. And no one really gets to know their adorable personalities, because they act so reserved.

Do your twins do this? Is it something I should be concerned about? Obviously I love that they have such a close bond, and I know that kids this age tend to be shy anyway, but I really want them to be able to socialize & have fun with other children.

What's your experience?
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#2 of 5 Old 07-18-2003, 11:12 AM
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My soon to be 2 year old b/g twins love other people but they have 4 other siblings. Now my girl twin has always turned her head away from strangers when they approach the twins if we are out but my boy twin loves the attention. They both warm up quickly though when around other kids and play very well. They do not like to be out of each others sight though and my boy twin will ask repeatedly where she is until he finds her.

I think you are doing the right thing exposing them to others and I am sure in time they will start to explore the friendships of other children. I guess we can think of it in this way. If we went to some far away place with alot of strangers and we were with our best friend wouldn't you just hang out with your best friend rather then take the time to meet new people? Maybe spliting them up on occassion woul dbe a good thing and let them go to the play group on different days?

Good luck.
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#3 of 5 Old 08-20-2003, 04:26 PM
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My 27 mo. old girls are slow to warm. They are shy when they first enter a group, but the shyness goes away eventually. My 11 year old daughter was always shy. We had a regular play group when she was little and she sat on my lap the whole time until she was maybe 4 and then she'd only go play if one of her cousins, who were also in the group, took her by the hand to go play. She's still on the quiet side in public, but she has friends, is very bright and creative. It's just her temperment and it doesn't seem to have held her back from doing whatever she wants to do. So don't worry if your little ones are shy. There is a book called "The Shy Child" by Ward Swallow that is good at helping you feel at ease having a shy child. I don't think he goes into twins, however. I have read that some moms seperate their twins for play dates upon occasion, but I've never done that and I can't say if I'd recomend it.:
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#4 of 5 Old 08-20-2003, 06:12 PM
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My boys were like that when they were little too. They're 8 years old now & still will seek each other out when they go out to recess at school, but they do have their own friends & play well in groups of kids now. They began to expand their social circle when they were in first grade.
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#5 of 5 Old 08-30-2003, 11:48 PM
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babylovex2, my boys are 23 mos. and EXACTLY like your girls. we've been doing playgroups since 18mos and really i don't notice much change in their shyness and clinginess.

i am releived to hear this should get better and may check out that book. it's so hard when we go to their gym class and there's all this cool stuff i know they are just itching to get on but instead they hide behind and cling on me till ALL the other kids leave to go cool down. it's sad to see them like this when they are so different at home, or when no other kids/adults are around.
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