Well, DH and I just yesterday met with a different midwife to talk about HB. She started the conversation by saying that b/c I have twins and am first time prego, I should plan for a hospital birth, just find a doctor who supports the physiological side of delivery. She got a bit better as the time went by and is very knowledgeable of the medical side of things. Eventually she said she'd support either a home birth or act as labor hospital support. But she seems (obviously) very tentative to me and much more conservative than I am looking for. I didn't feel supported by her, and she makes me doubt my ability to carry the babies full term and birth naturally at home without complication. She made me feel AWFUL and I was crying for hours after meeting with her (she is very respected in this area, wrote the MW standards of care for the state, etc., but I really think she is more medically minded than what I need/want).
She also suggested we get back up care by a physician, which to me would be good for the case of pre-term labor (to have a relationship with someone we trust) but is also like saying, "these babies will be born before 37 weeks". NOT the message I want to give to my subconscious, my body, or the babies. Plus, how do we afford both a midwife and a doctor?
We had met with another MW that I really clicked with. She was very positive about a twin HB and had faith in me. I mean, she made me feel so empowered and not like I was 'crazy' for believing in my body and nature and the power of positive thinking. She is located farther away and her services cost a lot more... I'll have to try to bargain on cost with her. DH said he'd be okay with her, too, in the end, but he'd still want us to see an OB. I have an appt with an OB at the end of January (he's known to not be so interventionalist with twins), mostly just to appease my husband, and the best case scenario is that he agrees to act as a back-up in the case of pre term labor though I'd be receiving prenatal care from a MW. Otherwise, it's going to be another struggle getting DH to see that midwifery care IS thorough prenatal care and that there would be no reason for me to be seeing both a MW and an OB, and how the heck would we pay for that anyway?!!. In addition to that, I wouldn't want the OB to put pressure on our MW to not attend the birth at home. And lastly, in my opinion I only would need to consult an OB if an issue would arise that would call for a specialist.
Last night I explained to my DH all of my feelings about this and how I need for him to read the same books that I've read that offer real information about midwifery care and HBing and the in-hospital world. He agreed and hopefully will start to understand the choices, dilemmas, and politics.
ANYWAY, what were your experiences like? Did anyone else face this much opposition to HB of twins? And, please, if you have any thoughts re: concurrent MW/OB care for a so-far uneventful twin pregnancy, please let me know.
My head is spinning, and I really wish I had a few more advocates surrounding me right now! Or at least a good girl friend within driving distance to go and drink some tea with
Hope everyone's New Year is off to a good start!!