What's your favorite part of having multiples? - Mothering Forums
Parenting Multiples > What's your favorite part of having multiples?
Intertwined's Avatar Intertwined 08:16 PM 01-16-2008
I found today that the shock is wearing off and every worry in the world descended on my head.

So could you all please gush at me over why you adore having multiples? You can see from my sig that I'm going to be overwhelmed with little people. We're considering not home schooling because of it but then I'll be giving up the only two who can help me!

What's fun? What's adorable? What takes your breath away? Your best memory? What was it like the first time you saw them?

BoGiBoBo's Avatar BoGiBoBo 09:16 PM 01-16-2008
Oh my, you will have a lot of little people running around. Yes, the first couple years you will be busy, but I'm sure it will be so worth it.

Ok, my guys are only 6 months, but I can contribute some great twin stuff. The first night in the hospital was amazing, with those 2 little bundles, it is just surreal. Then the next 4 months were kind of a blur . The first time they found each others hand while tandem nursing was just neat. When I put my guys up close to each and they just light up, smiling at each other and reaching for one another.

The other day I was sitting in the rocker with one in my lap with his back against my stomach and the other was sitting on my knees facing his brother. The were just cooing and smiling at each other. Grabbing at one another and one would get his fingers in his brothers mouth and he would try and suck on them. They would lean in and snuggle each other. It was soooo cute. I got teary eyed watching them.

I was really scared myself, and I won't lie, it is a lot of work. But it is truly amazing and I am really beginning to realize how blessed I am.
cpop's Avatar cpop 10:36 PM 01-16-2008
Wow! That's a lot of little ones! But, you know what, I bet you are a hundred times more prepared and organized than someone like me who had only one before the twins. I bet you have tons of tricks up your sleeve!
My little ones are just over a year old, and the thing I can't get over is that they are just SOOOO FUNNY.
My first was cute and fun, but this is different.
They just bring out this kind of quirky, funny, occasionally mischievous side in each other when they are together and it is just very funny.
I used to get seriously lonely and depressed being in the alone in the house with my first all day, but with them it is just a non-stop party, which is at times exhausting, but then who the heck am I to be telling you about exhausting.
I think if you are dealing with the ones you have, you are a pro, and have nothing to worry about!
Four&Me's Avatar Four&Me 10:49 PM 01-16-2008
if you think about how when you have looked at your singleton babies you had an overflowing joyous heart. now add in the fact that you have TWO!! its amazing..
two_sets_of_twins's Avatar two_sets_of_twins 03:24 AM 01-17-2008
We're kind of in the same boat - I had five in three years and two months. So I understand about being overwhelmed at times. But I believe that God (or your version of your Higher Power) does not give you more than you can handle.

That being said, it's still hard! I loved when my girls were little tiny (6 weeks) and would reach for each other, as if they already knew they were not alone and needed each other. I loved as they got older that they had a buddy. I think one would be much harder around 18 months or 2 years because a singleton constantly wants your attention, but between your twins and older kids, they'll always have someone to keep them busy.

It's nice having two for the older kids to "help" with so they are not fighting over one baby. And I have to agree with the first time they looked at each other and smiled while we were tandem nursing being right at the top of the list. And when one is sick, it's nice to have a comparison with the other twin so if they're identical, you know what the sick one "should" look like. Mine got RSV at 2 months (I took them out in public WAY too much because I was just plain uneducated) and I knew one was definitely sick because she was more blue than her sister.

The understanding that my girls now have (at 6) that they were in my tummy together is really precious too. I loved when they fell asleep together (and still do) in a pretzel-style pattern. It's really fun when they're little to see two little heads right next to each other as they nuzzle their noses together.

You have a lot to look forward to and you're going to make it through this. If I can do it, anyone can! I don't think your homeschooling plans need to go out the window either. You can teach your children a lot about breastfeeding, diapering, family dynamics, and baby care in general while the babies are young. Before you know it, you'll be on a good schedule and you can plan in school time more easily. But for the first little while, just focus on educating them in ways the public school system can't, about babies.

I put my girls in kindergarten this year because I am in school, but we are going to homeschool next year (I asked the girls and they still would prefer to be at home) even though we are having another baby (or two!)

You go girl!
michellyn's Avatar michellyn 04:04 AM 01-17-2008
You sound as overwhelmed as I felt when I found out we were having twins. I was shocked, and I tried to be happy about it, but mostly, I felt overwhelmed. I'd never dreamed of or hoped to have twins, and I didn't have family history of it (my mother now recalls some great great uncles who were twins, but I'm still unsure of the exact connection, and whether their mother or father was in our family line). So, I never expected or highly considered twins (except with a shudder at how much work they would be).

Twins are a lot of work. When they're tiny, your life revolves around all their basic needs (the first six weeks are a blur to many twin moms). You struggle to survive. My two older boys were 3 and 5 when my twins were born. I worried about being able to take care of them, much less homeschool my oldest. I decided then and there that I'd wait another year to start homeschooling, knowing that our state's law didn't require kindergarten until age 6.

My older son did help, but I would have loved some help from family and friends (we had just moved while I was almost 7 months pregnant with the twins, far from my family). Sometimes when my sons got into fights while I was nursing both, I felt so helpless. So having him around was equally helpful and problematic. If at all possible, start lining up helpers and meals for the first several weeks now.

Anyway, I guess I'm way off topic. Twins are also a huge joy and blessing. It's so sweet the first time they grab and hold each other's hands while nursing. When they get older, seeing them play together is really neat. Mostly though, I'm amazed by their individuality. With older children, you know they're different, but you experience that in a whole new way. My twins are complete opposites in so many areas. My twins make me smile so many times every day. Sometimes God gives us blessings we would reject if He had asked our opinion. My twins are definitely that--I wouldn't trade their "twinness" for the world now.

Michelle G.
MamaRabbit's Avatar MamaRabbit 06:45 AM 01-17-2008
It's so amazing to watch. When they sleep together and just cuddle up together. Holding hands during nursing. When they'd play on their tummies and just be chattering away at each other. At 6mo now, watching them together trying to play with the same toy and their personalities already coming out. For mine (identical) watching how neat the similarities and differences are.

As for you homeschooling, we had wanted our oldest to stay home until age 6 or so, and then decided last minute after the babies were born that school was a better option. My 4 year old is a great help though!
christyc's Avatar christyc 11:16 AM 01-17-2008
We were due in May of last year, and found out about twins in December, so I'm smiling just remembering some of the shock I felt!

It's hard, especially with your other ones so young, but it's do-able!

The first night after my babies were born, I didn't sleep but about an hour. And it WASN'T because they were keeping me up fussing-- it was because I sat up in bed all night staring at them-- how beautiful they both were, how amazing it is that there is two of them! I was just overwhelmed with the sweetness!

Now, they're 8 months old, and sometimes I still sit up at night watching them! I love waking up in the morning with a baby snuggled up on either side of me. I love the way one laughs when the other sneezes or coughs. I love the way one has blond hair, a tiny little mouth, and two teeth on bottom; and the other has brown hair, a big smile, and four big ol' rabbit teeth! Seeing how they are so different is fun to watch; seeing how they both lay their heads on my shoulder when I pick them up is heart-warming.

I can't get enough of their sweet baby love, and can't imagine only having one!!

mumm's Avatar mumm 11:53 AM 01-17-2008
nak, of course!

I didn't read any other posts because I don't want my answers tainted by the "oh, I should feel this way."

I never fully came to terms with twins during my pg. I told my mw that I wouldn't want to hold either baby when they were born. "You catch the kid and give it to dp." Well, that changed the second I saw the first baby. I wasn't going to let her go! Then when B was born 45 minutes later, I had a glimmer that everything would be ok.

They are only 6 months now. The nights suck and I'm exhausted BUT- they are so much fun. Bath time is blast right now (they can't stand yet.) The way they "play" is so fun to watch. My older kids adore them.

Sometimes I'll see the two of them and think "how did this happen?" There will be days when you want to scream and kick and cry (or really do!) but there will also be awesome days when you can't believe how lucky you are.

I try to have them sleep in a crib and it feels ok because they have each other. And they do look for each other and in their own ways comfort each other.

Now I'm going to go read the other posts!
christyc's Avatar christyc 12:42 PM 01-17-2008
Oh yes, bath time! Their eyes light up like little firecrackers at bath time!

I also like the way they're also always "stealing" each other's things inadvertently! It's so cute!
christyc's Avatar christyc 12:43 PM 01-17-2008
Also, H rolled over onto her belly one day, and knocked B over near her. He then rolled over onto his tummy and started teething on her rear end! That was a riot!

Or the time they got into a fit fighting over an empty cracker box!
drnmd1216's Avatar drnmd1216 01:09 PM 01-17-2008
Its definately hard work having 2 at once, but its also such an amazing gift! Its undescribeable! I look at both my boys giving me side by side gummy smiles, and it makes my uncomfortable pregnancy, difficult delivery and first 2 crazy months a hazy memory. My boys are just starting to interact with each other a little bit (mostly by accident)...like one will stick his fist up in the air and both will stare at it in amazement, or one's hand will go in the other's mouth and he will start sucking, or just when they stare at each other-these little moments are just amazing to watch when there are two. Every day when I am holding both boys/nursing them both, I just feel so incredibly lucky. I would do it again 100 times....its all such a miracle!
Thorn Hailfilter's Avatar Thorn Hailfilter 01:53 PM 01-17-2008
Stealing from the Peace Corps, but it really is the toughest job you'll ever love.

I remember looking at them, sleeping in their boppies, a day after we came home from the hospital, not being able to even imagine one without the other.

A couple of months ago, my DD looked at her brother and said, "Momma, Henry is my best friend!"

Yesterday morning, after fighting, well, like 2 y/o's do, they ended up walking to the car, holding hands.
DiannaK's Avatar DiannaK 05:03 PM 01-17-2008
Originally Posted by Chantelhayes View Post
I found today that the shock is wearing off and every worry in the world descended on my head.

So could you all please gush at me over why you adore having multiples? You can see from my sig that I'm going to be overwhelmed with little people. We're considering not home schooling because of it but then I'll be giving up the only two who can help me!

What's fun? What's adorable? What takes your breath away? Your best memory? What was it like the first time you saw them?
have you joined the May, or June DDC??

Congrats!!I'm due right behind you (6/1)
Intertwined's Avatar Intertwined 05:14 PM 01-17-2008
Originally Posted by DiannaK View Post
have you joined the May, or June DDC??

Congrats!!I'm due right behind you (6/1)
I'm in May!
cdahlgrd's Avatar cdahlgrd 05:17 PM 01-17-2008
I read a lot of trashy romance novels while pregnant because I just couldn't deal with the stress of thinking about having twins. Then after they were born, I read a lot of trashy novels because I was stuck in a chair nursing. I haven't read that much in years !

I was scared too. Our family was 700 miles away and my friends all dropped like flies. But I wouldn't change anything!!

Right now, they are playing rescuers and taking turns who is the rescuer and who is the trapped animal. They are 2 1/2.

At 2 months, I would put them both in their swings, and their big brother and I would dance and sing to a good cd and EVERYONE had a great time! They just loved watching their big brother play, even when they were tiny and he had som much fun having an audience!

Start lining up helpers. You may not need them, but you will relax if you know that you have someone available. Neigbors, family, LLL, twins groups, church members, homeschoolers, post-partum doulas, early childhood ed students, 9 - ? year old girls for mother's helpers, etc. Especially for those first few months when everything is is chaos from the changes and your physical recovery!
OGirlieMama's Avatar OGirlieMama 05:26 PM 01-17-2008
I'll throw my thoughts out in a hurry...

- When they were little, they would "spoon" each other in their sleep and whoever was in the back would suck on her sister's head/hair. It made me melt.
- Watching them "discover" each other as separate beings was amazing.
- When one falls down and gets a "booboo" now the other comes running over to kiss it.
- Whoever wakes up second comes into my room in the morning to see us and always shrieks "Katie!" (or "Lilly" but usually Kate's up first or already in our bed from the night before) - they are so happy to see each other.
- When I take Lilly out without Kate (doctor's appointment, usually) and we get home, Kate hugs her and helps her take off her coat.

All the sweet moments between them are the most incredible thing. Oh, and this morning I got so lucky as to have them both go back to sleep after drinking some milk in my bed. I was pinned down on either side by a soft little sweet-smelling head and arms thrown over me. Heavenly.

(Other times are not so wonderful, but the good times make up for all of it.)

Congratulations and good luck!
pitter_patter's Avatar pitter_patter 08:26 PM 01-17-2008
First off, congratulations!!!

My twins are 20 months old (makes me weepy to type/say that).

*Disclaimer: these are my only children so I have rose colored glasses!*

Having twins is an incredible experience. I wake up every morning and am excited to see their little faces. From birth, they had remarkably similiar mannerisms. They tilted their heads the same way, same smile, etc. The first thing they do upon waking is look for each other, if one sleeps later the one who is up is tugging on my hand and trying to wake up the sleeper! They are best friends, partners in crime, everything.

The first three months were hard, I had wicked bad PPD and felt like a terrible mother. We didn't have any help from family or friends. Looking back, I think that was a good thing because I learned early on how to do everything myself. I have a friend with 13 month old twins, she has never taken them out in public by herself.

Anyway, good luck! You can do this! Don't be shy about taking people up on their offers of help, and try to cook ahead and freeze meals! Those are the two big things I wish I had done (or done more of, in the case of the freezing).
dbsam's Avatar dbsam 03:22 AM 01-18-2008
I’ll just comment on what is fun:
These are my only children so I have nothing to compare with. My two have very different personalities and mannerisms. One of my favorite parts of having twins is watching them interact. (Maybe it is the same with any siblings, but…) I love to hear them giggling uncontrollably, or discussing something – it can be as simple as I’m a girl and you’re a boy, or wrestling and hugging – which they do all day, or waking each other up in the morning, or sharing – they’ve always been so good at sharing and comforting each other (I know this might change as they get older.) They are just so fun!

e.g. A few weeks ago I handed my daughter two chocolate chips that were stuck together and she said “Look mom, they stick together like me and C.” I love these types of comments – and there are so many! I s/h written them down.
jackson's mama's Avatar jackson's mama 05:09 AM 01-18-2008
My girls didn't really notice each other until they were about 8 months old (they're almost 10 months now), so just seeing them interact now is fun. They'll stand at opposite sides of the room and babble loudly back and forth and then laugh laugh laugh... it's hysterical. Just today Alexa was playing with a block and Maya came over to check it out (the best toy is always the one sister has), and Alexa handed it to her with the sweetest smile .

When I tandem nurse them before bed, I take one and get comfy in the nursing chair and then DH brings me the other. They grin so big when they see the other sister coming .

I was nervous about having twins, but I lucked out and got the most easy-going, good-natured babies in the world. I wish you gentle-spirited babies too .
Intertwined's Avatar Intertwined 11:45 AM 01-18-2008
Originally Posted by jackson's mama View Post
I wish you gentle-spirited babies too .
Thank you! My third child was seriously a dream. He was so laid back and "easy" once we figured out that I couldn't eat dairy and nurse him. I need two just like that and I'll be wondering what all this 'hard' is you are all talking about!
MamaRabbit's Avatar MamaRabbit 11:59 AM 01-18-2008
So far my babies have been so easy... super laid back... knock on wood
bbtwins's Avatar bbtwins 11:33 PM 01-18-2008
Now that my boys' are almost 4, my favorite part is watching them play together and really enjoy each others' company. They are best friends and the bond between them is amazing to watch. They are so lucky to have each other.

Good luck!
Novella's Avatar Novella 12:49 AM 01-21-2008
My husband and I still haven't gotten over the thrill of having twins (frankly, I don't think we ever will). We talk every day about what a fantastic experience it is - so much so that I think observers would start to wonder if we had even liked our singletons!

Here are a few of our heart-melters and fun moments:
  • seeing them snuggled together as newborns in the bassinet
  • nursing them together, and loving that they caress each other
  • nursing them together and laughing that one is trying to kick the other one in the head
  • noticing how often they mirror each other's positions in sleep (which hand is up beside the head, which way the head is tilted, etc)
  • realizing that when they are sleeping (relaxed facial expressions) with hats on, we actually can't tell them apart (OMG!)
  • driving in the van with the family and realizing we can identify which babe is awake, b/c the vocalizations are slightly different (discovering those little shades of individuality is a lot of fun)
  • seeing two little nakey-bums standing beside the tub, getting all excited by the filling water
  • sticking them back-to-back in one of those rubber baby swings at the playground
  • watching them outwit each other when competing for table food or a toy
  • co-sleeping with a baby squashed up against EACH side of you. It's more than 200% the amount of snuggly you get co-sleeping with one infant.

Say, "Yay!" I'm having a fantastic life! (Repeat as necessary )
megsy's Avatar megsy 10:11 PM 01-21-2008
Watching them interract. (B/G twins 4yo)

They play "mom and dad" and it is so cute I could die each time I see or hear it going on. They absolutely adore each other. We recently had to have a very difficult conversation of why they couldn't get married to each other.

The first two years was difficult (our oldest was 22 months when they were born), but I wouldn't trade it for the world. We're even expecting again and excited about it!
Intertwined's Avatar Intertwined 10:43 PM 01-21-2008
Originally Posted by Novella View Post

Say, "Yay!" I'm having a fantastic life! (Repeat as necessary )
AMEN! This thread just melts my heart. Is so wonderful to hear all the stories and advice. As the time goes on, I am allowing myself to be convinced that I am probably not going to die. As long as I don't think on it too hard.
2+twins's Avatar 2+twins 07:47 PM 01-22-2008
I just love having twins! It's hard to think of a favorite part, but here's what I'm going to say:

You always love each child you have in this way that they just are awe-inspiring to you each and every time they do something that is so "them". But when you have twins, that feeling is SO exaggerated b/c with two of them at the exact same age by the exact same parents you really get to see how unique they truly are! I feel like I just appreciate each of my twins differences SO much in a way that I don't with my older singletons. I see their differences too but it's always easy to chalk it up to the age difference. With the twins it's just so special. Their personalities just really shine. I *know* I'm not explaining this right - I wish I could! - but having twins has been just the most amazing experience of my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I've also made some amazing online friends that I never would have met if it weren't for my boys!
twin monkeys's Avatar twin monkeys 05:46 AM 01-23-2008
the boys are our only kids so far 3yrs but the first time I saw them I cried so did dp it was the most amazing feeling of love I could never put into words how overwelmed I was with love for them.
Now watching them play with each other

In the car when we drive them will reach across the car seats to hold hands all the time (this just started about 2 weeks ago)

They fight and say I love you then the other one goes NO I love you and they will do this for about 5 min till tell them it's OK they love each other they both go ohh yeah and hug each other

You get double the hugs and kisses every night and morning

when you nurse them together for the first time it is amazing

Then each time you nuse them after that it gets better and better

The first time you nurse them together without help
MamaRabbit's Avatar MamaRabbit 08:42 AM 01-23-2008
Right now they're learning how to crawl and keep crawling on top of each other. I hear crying, and it's the one on the bottom being squashed.

Or one pulls up on the sofa, the other pulls up on her sister and they both topple over. Sooo funny!