Anyone have twins in different grades? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 01-29-2008, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have 22 month old b/g twins. My ds is in early intervention and about 4 months behind his sister. I want them to be in the same grade but am realizing there is a chance they might not be. Has anyone experienced this? Would are the pros and cons of being in different grades? I don't want people thinking of him as the twin who was held back. How will it affect them?
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#2 of 8 Old 01-29-2008, 07:37 PM
 
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So they're both in EI? What are they different on right now? If it's something that's likely to follow them, wouldn't they be more likely to be considered special ed, and depending on severity, either mainstreamed or put in actual separate schools? I'm not sure that different grades in school would cover a continuing delay, KWIM? Perhaps mamas with kiddoes in EI or special ed can answer more clearly.

Also - they're not even two yet! Give them a little time...
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#3 of 8 Old 01-29-2008, 09:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just my ds is in EI. DD isn't. He's behind in speech, but that doesn't worry me because my niece never spoke more than two words before she turned 2 1/2 and she is fine now. He was behind crawling, walking........He has speech therapy every week and maybe OT once every two months. I'm more concerned with his attention and understanding. Two months ago he didn't understand no, or anything I said, whereas his twin sis would bring me something if I asked. He is much better with that now but I'm not sure if it is him being a boy, and boys don't develop as fast as girls, or if it is a developmental problem which will stay with him. At this age, nobody can tell if he has a specific problem or not, but I just want to prepare for the future now and realize there is a chance they may not be together in school. He doesn't have many of the red flags for autism but it is hard to get his attention sometimes when he is playing. I can yell his name and he won't even look, but I know he hears me.
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#4 of 8 Old 01-30-2008, 12:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Owachi View Post
Just my ds is in EI. DD isn't. He's behind in speech, but that doesn't worry me because my niece never spoke more than two words before she turned 2 1/2 and she is fine now. He was behind crawling, walking........He has speech therapy every week and maybe OT once every two months. I'm more concerned with his attention and understanding. Two months ago he didn't understand no, or anything I said, whereas his twin sis would bring me something if I asked. He is much better with that now but I'm not sure if it is him being a boy, and boys don't develop as fast as girls, or if it is a developmental problem which will stay with him. At this age, nobody can tell if he has a specific problem or not, but I just want to prepare for the future now and realize there is a chance they may not be together in school. He doesn't have many of the red flags for autism but it is hard to get his attention sometimes when he is playing. I can yell his name and he won't even look, but I know he hears me.
I don't mean to be flippant, but my DH does the same thing at age forty-something! And isn't that sort of selective attention a hallmark of that age? Different levels of development are not in and of themselves a problem - if you had your children sequentially you probably wouldn't even notice.
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#5 of 8 Old 01-30-2008, 01:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My dh does the same thing too...it could just be a guy thing. And I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't have twins. Men.
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#6 of 8 Old 01-30-2008, 01:24 AM
 
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My dh does the same thing too...it could just be a guy thing. And I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't have twins. Men.
A friend of mine ACTUALLY sent her husband to a hearing clinic. When they asked him why he was there, he said "My wife says I can't hear her." They thought that was pretty funny - and no, he had no hearing issues.

Anyway, on topic again, I just don't think two different grades is, like, even an option these days. It's more like regular ed/special ed, ya know? But seriously, if you're talking about a 22 month old who doesn't hear you when he's busy and has a REALLY shaky understanding of the word "no," in my totally nonprofessional opinion what you have is a 22 month old. Just sayin.

All that said, if you have concerns there's no reason not to bring them up to DS's therapists, they are more than likely hooked into the larger educational/therapeutic system and they can give you a broader perspective.
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#7 of 8 Old 01-31-2008, 06:00 PM
 
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I don't think this will be an issue for you because the people who are holding their kids back a year to start kindergarten later tend to have kids with summer or early fall birthdays.

If your twins are 22 mo then that says what - March? bday to me... right in the middle of the year, so I don't think I would hold a March bday pack to start kindergarten at 6.

I agree with the others that your ds may go to resource classes if it comes to that, but they would be in the same grade, and REALLY try to not compare them to each other. Hard enough with singletons, I imagine it is even harder with twins.

But seriously, I wouldn't equate EI at 22 mo with being held back later AT ALL. His issues should be well in hand before age 5, it is the kids who don't get EI and just show up at kindergarten with serious issues that have problems.
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#8 of 8 Old 02-01-2008, 01:28 AM
 
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In your case, mama, I think it's too early to tell. I agree with PPs that anything going on with your son may be resolved by then. But, I understand the concerns. . .

I have five-year old boy twins, fraternal. I've always been worried about the school issue too, because while Oscar's development has always been on a normal track, he's always hit the milestones at the late end of the range, while his brother Henry is quite precocious for a boy. All totally normal.
Children entering kindergarten have a HUGE range of variability in where they are at developmentally. Some seem very babyish and can hardly hold a pencil, while others can understand advanced concepts. So, you COULD likely put them in the same grade barring any significant problems with your boy (knock on wood!). The kindergarten teachers are used to working with children at all different levels.

I could have entered both of my boys in kindergarten this year, but. . . I decided to homeschool them, for now. I try to work with them where each of them are so that they can do their best without a lot of pressure or comparisons. I don't know if I'm calling it preschool or kindergarten, but the beauty of it is that is doesn't really matter. I know that HSing isn't an option for everyone, but if it is for you, you can always have that alternative if the school situation doesn't work well for your family.
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