Nursing Modesty with twins? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 23 Old 02-25-2008, 12:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi,
I have twin girls who are preemies... my mother is coming soon for 2 wks to help out, followed by my MIL for one week.
I am EBF... I am not hot on the idea of having my mom or my mil see my breasts, is that weird? How can I make their visits good for me so that I am no always hiding away in the bedroom when the girls nurse every 2 hours?
I have a hooter hider, but it's impratcital to use all day. I feel like it would be so much easier to be modest while bursing just one baby but tandem nursing is how it goes here to try to keep them on the same schedule.
TIA

Mama to lovely twin girls 1/08
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#2 of 23 Old 02-25-2008, 04:26 PM
 
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That is a tough situation. You absolutely need to do what is most important for you and the babes--nursing when they want and not feeling weird about it. Tandem nursing is so challenging to be discreet about. Maybe the easiest thing would be to just tell your mom and MIL how you feel about the whole situation and then whenever you say something like "looks like its time to nurse" they can take that as their cue to exit whereever you are and give you privacy until you're done. Let them know that that would be the perfect time for them to do some dishes, fold a load of laundry, make a meal.... in the OTHER room. I am sure they will understand and respect your wishes, don't be afraid to ask for exactly what you need. And don't by any means let that stop you from nursing! Target sells nursing camisoles (very similar to the more expensive GlamourMom versions) that at least cover your stomach and in between your boobs, although the boobs themselves are revealed for the babes to get to. I have a couple and wear them almost everyday, especially if we're going to be in public. HTH, good luck and hang in there!!!!

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#3 of 23 Old 02-25-2008, 04:35 PM
 
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#4 of 23 Old 02-25-2008, 05:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for the replies! I do use an EZ 2 nurse pillow and I love it!
I guess I'll just play it by ear and see how it goes, making sure not to give up what I want to do and what I am comfortable with.
I just hope I'm not confined to the bedroom!
Thanks

Mama to lovely twin girls 1/08
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#5 of 23 Old 02-25-2008, 05:41 PM
 
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Sorry, slight hijack (hope you don't mind yogafeet), but how do you nurse them in public? I'm not keen on hiding them under a blanket. My other nurslings never tolerated a blanket on their heads, anyway. Do you just nurse one at a time? Avoid it like the plague?
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#6 of 23 Old 02-25-2008, 07:02 PM
 
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I think what clovermom said is good.

You may find that after you get a little more practiced, it won't bother you as much around friends and family.

As far as nursing in public - like in the middle of a busy mall or something (as per the other poster's question), I always did one at a time. Mine never tolerated a blanket of any kind, and I didn't like it 'cause I couldn't see what was going on either.

Good luck! Like clovermom said, don't be afraid to ask for exactly what you need.
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#7 of 23 Old 02-25-2008, 07:39 PM
 
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I never got the hang of discreet tandem nursing in public - so usually just did one at a time. When the were tiny-tiny, I would go to a coffee shop where I knew the owner and a couple of times I asked to tandem nurse them in her office... I also have in dressing rooms. Also, I needed the EZ2Nurse pillow to tandem in the early weeks and there is NOTHING discreet about that.

I actually looked forward to going off to our room to nurse the girls when they were tiny -- a break from people and decisions and talking... I could just veg, or watch easy television (we put the TV in our bedroom before they came and got cable -- an EXCELLENT investment) or just take a break from everything and everyone. That was especially true between about six weeks and five months -- when they didn't take FOREVER to nurse, but I still found myself overwhelmed at people and life in general.

And finally, I also just let go of some of my modesty. I was not comfortable with my mom or MIL see me nude/partially nude before the girls ( I *totally* get that feeling you are describing) but just had to give it up at some point. I think talking to them and letting them know how you feel is a good place to start, though. There is ALWAYS something to do in another room
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#8 of 23 Old 02-25-2008, 07:52 PM
 
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FOr me, tandem nursing isn't discreet until after I get them all latched on and settled, then I can kinda keep their head in front and my shirt down a bit, but it's not something I would be comfortable with in public b/c I"d have to flash everyone for a few minutes in order to get them on! We went out this weekend and I nursed just one at a time in public, it's much easier! I do not have any trouble getting one baby on and nursing discreetly, but two is just too to hold/manouver, ect.

I know you want to tandem them to keep them on the same schedule, but with your mom and MIL there, you can nurse one, hand that one off to be burped and nurse the second one fairly quickly and keep them sort of close to the same schedule. I do this even now and have no problem getting them back to nursing together if no one is here to help, but with help nursing one and having the helper burp the other works really well for me!
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#9 of 23 Old 02-26-2008, 01:36 AM
 
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I just had my sister and her fiance over and I made a fortress of couch pillows in front of me when it was time to feed the babies. : I find it nearly impossible to be discreet and its hard bc babies eat often/we have a lot of visitors at times. I just do what I have to do to get them fed and not flash my guests too much.
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#10 of 23 Old 02-26-2008, 02:35 AM
 
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I think with your EZ 2 Nurse pillow it will really help you to nurse modestly. I was pretty much always tandem nursing when visitors came over and I felt pretty covered. Once the babies are situated you can pull your shirt down close to their faces. Now nursing in public modestly? I can't do it. I need my pillow!

Here are a few pictures of how we did it:
http://www.karengromada.com/karengro...ndemnak3wk.JPG
http://www.karengromada.com/karengro...ndemnurse2.JPG

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#11 of 23 Old 02-26-2008, 09:18 AM
 
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I only nurse one at at a time in public unless at a friends house in a recliner or something.

For tandem nursing, whether using the pillow or not, I just would bunch up a baby blanket between my boobs and pull my shirt down. That was rare, I usually just let it all hand out lol

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#12 of 23 Old 02-29-2008, 03:24 PM
 
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hi, just to add one thing...i used a big roomy nursing cape thhat i made from about two yards (almost) of a fun retro cotton fabric. it was roomy enough that it didn't bother the twins, it was like a tent! i would usually just sit on the grass, indian style and nurse them in the football hold. this worked well alwaysnd i especially appreciated the cape's privacy when they started wiggling around this way and that as toddlers!
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#13 of 23 Old 03-01-2008, 10:24 PM
 
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I've been nursing for over five years in a row (with a 3 or 4 month break late in my twin pregnancy). I was shy at first, but I've gotten over it. I don't nurse much in public, but in my own home I'll nurse both my babies anytime they need it. I use an EZ 2 Nurse, and big loose fitting shirts. And really, most people find something else to look at--a magazine, out the window, whatever. I do remember hearing at a La Leche meeting that it's a good idea to set up a mirror and watch yourself to see how much you can actually see. I've never done this. But I do think that most people will go out of their way not to stare at you. If that turns out not to be the case, you can leave the room (or ask them to).
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#14 of 23 Old 03-03-2008, 04:24 PM
 
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I never got the hang on tandem nursing in public. My "girls" were a little too big to be discreet with 2 babies. So, I would nurse one at a time and it was a little more comfortable for me that way. I made friends with shoe departments in Target, since I'd have a place to sit

When we had company that I wasn't comfortable nursing in front of, I'd just take the girls to my room. It also gave me (and the babies) a little bit of a break from the noise.
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#15 of 23 Old 03-03-2008, 05:45 PM
 
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Haha, I use nursing as a nice excuse to get away from my in-laws when they visit. I'm actually not that shy about nursing.

However, I did find tandem nursing newborns more revealing than I'd like. I nursed one baby at a time when out and about or when guests were visiting, and tandem nursed at home where I was comfortable and had all the pillows I needed. (On the other hand, I'd be able to tandem nurse my 18 month old babies discretely enough if they'd stop the game of pulling my shirt off while they nursed!)

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#16 of 23 Old 03-03-2008, 08:24 PM
 
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So is the EZ 2 Nurse pillow worth it? I got one second hand becasuse I didn't want to drop 50 bucks on a pillow that may or may not help. Hope it helps.


The lady I got it from cut the belt off because it annoyed her. I figured I can always attach a new one. Should I bother now or wait and see? (I figure sewing projects, however minor, will be easier pre-twin-newborns...)

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#17 of 23 Old 03-03-2008, 11:40 PM
 
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I couldn't live without mine the first 4 months.

I needed the belt because as the babies got bigger, their weight made it not want to sit snug against me and they'd start slip between me and the pillow.

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#18 of 23 Old 03-03-2008, 11:42 PM
 
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Woo hoo! Good to know. The lady I got it from gave up nursing pretty early so maybe that's why she didn't need the belt. I will buy a replacement and attach it soon.

DS T 11/16/03 DDs K & E 3/28/08
nak DS S 4/1/11
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#19 of 23 Old 03-04-2008, 05:54 AM
 
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I loved my EZ2Nurse pillow, and I used the belt as well (I think it also helped keep it totally hands free--if I needed to turn to reach a glass of water or something, the pillow could turn with me). I also bought mine secondhand. It had a really pilly cover, so the Ebayer sold it to me for $25 shipped. I used a few yards of sale print flannel ($1 a yard) to make a new cover, and I had a great looking but cheap pillow
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#20 of 23 Old 03-04-2008, 06:07 AM
 
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I'm sure you don't have time to be shopping for nursing clothes now, but I found mock twinset nursing styles to work best for twin nursing coverage. Because the outer layer has two parts, the middle always stays covered. Each side falls onto the baby's face, so it keeps you covered there (as much as is possible--when they get older, that's almost impossible with all the wiggling, pulling off, and reattaching). The Mock Layer Double Opening on this page should work the similarly if the outer shirt is completely unbuttoned (though I think a shorter outer layer is slightly easier to deal with).

I "converted" a few layering camisoles into perfect inner layers to wear with cardigans or jackets I already owned. I just cut a slit down the side seam area (I don't think they had seams on mine, but where the side seam would be). Since the camisoles were knit fabrics, they won't ravel, so that was that. A bolero length sweater would be ideal.

Anyway, since you probably don't have time to do that, I think the poster who recommended asking them to do an errand in the other room had a fantastic suggestion.
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#21 of 23 Old 03-05-2008, 10:37 AM
 
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I almost don't dare write - not wanting to sound like a braggart!

I found tandem nursing twins in public was easy - way easier than I ever could have imagined.

Now, I know some moms will never be comfortable with it. But I just wanted to throw my experience into the ring because for anyone who is sitting on the fence, I wanted to put forth an experience that it can be done.
  • The only position that works for me and contributes to (what is for me, personally) an appropriate level of modesty is the parallel hold.
  • I never buy nursing shirts, but do find that centre-snap bras are the easiest to use without fumbling under my clothing, dropping babies, or flashing people.
  • My boys were not preemies and not tiny, so this definitely would have made it easier (39wk4days, 6lb15oz and 7lb8oz).
  • The EZ-to-nurse pillow was useful for me only when they were small (I got it at 7 weeks and wished I'd had it immediately b/c I used it only for about a month - and not faithfully).
  • I found it easy to tandem nurse them in public, even in an armless chair, until at around 9 months they were so heavy and long that someone was always slipping away. Then I stuck to armchairs or benches.
  • Their bodies covered my stomach, my shirt was down to the tops of their heads, and if someone saw of flash of (flabby) side-skin, big whoop! (although I managed to conceal this often, as well, because I'm just too vain!)

I think of all the conversations, events, etc that private nursing would have kept me from, and I cringe. Being busy with other children and baby twins has enough challenges without social isolation!

Good luck!

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#22 of 23 Old 03-05-2008, 08:27 PM
 
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I don't care if you're bragging or not - I'm happy to see it can be done.

What does paralel hold mean?? Like cradle hold but they are stacked on top of each other? That's good to hear - I feel like I am going to have to deal with two in the football hold and I hated the football hold with my son.

I think I hate it in part because the evil L&D nurse I had said I HAD to use it because my nipples point down. Gee, thanks

Once they moved me to post-partum I never used the football hold again.

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#23 of 23 Old 03-05-2008, 11:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RunnerDuck View Post
What does paralel hold mean??
This is the parallel hold.

And here is us at the local pool in the summer. I have a one-piece swimsuit (yes, "twin skin" at the moment!). So I just pulled the top of it down around my waist and used the towel over my shoulders to cover my front while I positioned the babies.

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