Twin pregnancy hospital birth pep talk (long) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 11:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I wanted to take an opportunity to offer the expecting multiples moms here a pep talk. There are a nice bunch here all at once, so it seemed like a good time.

I did dig up my birth story, in case anyone wants the details.
birth story here
I do not profess to be a know it all about all twin births, being I’ve only had 1! But I also belong to another smaller natural parenting twin mom forum and am intimate with their stories too, not to mention being a birth story junkie during my pregnancy .

I was really fortunate that I found out so late about my twins. I started measuring ahead at my 20 week appointment with my homebirth midwife. She sent me off for a U/S to confirm the very next day. Neither of us were comfortable with a twin homebirth, so she became my vastly over-qualified doula. Having her ear and being able to run some of the crazy things the doctors were feeding me was priceless.
-So that’s one of my first pieces of advice.
  • tip 1-Get an experienced doula that will advocate for your vaginal birth and help you weigh the truly valid concerns with the hospital’s myriad of CTA (cover their a$$) ones.

As I started my crash course in twin pregnancy, I was struck by how little was still known. I was falsely diagnosed with TTTS, short cervix, and noone ever caught that I was hyperglycemic except me one day.
  • -tip 2: Research is scant on “normal” cervix lengths for twin moms. I was getting red alerts the first day i was measured. My personal research found time and time again other women measuring just like me. It seems silly to compare a multiples mama to the cervix length of a singleton when the latter has half the pressure on her body.
  • Speaking of pressure, tip 3: if you can afford it at all, please see a chiropractor and open up your pelvis. It will also help your aching back!

I also mentioned in a recent post that my first OB let it slip that he was concerned about liability. He wanted to go to the “safest” extreme of a vaginal birth. He felt he had already made an ultimate concession by agreeing to the vag birth. He used all the usual tricks on me too. “If I have to go up there and grab a foot, you won’t be able to handle the pain”. I realized quite early that I was going to have become a warrior to get the birth I wanted. And why did I not just let go and do what so many other MoM do willingly? I think because my fear of trying to take care of 2 newborns immediately after surgery was stronger than any other emotion I had. YMMV.

The peptalk part of this post is HOW I went about getting what I wanted.
I got the recommended books in the Multiples sticky. Having Twins by Elisabeth Noble has this one picture that ended up flashing into my mind often during my labor. It’s of this homebirthing mom who suddenly finds out that a second baby is coming. The look on her face just burned into my mind, and the raw reality that I am just a woman birthing a baby and then another baby afterwards helped override the mainstream attitude about twin births. (you know the one-shut up and schedule your c/s)
  • -tip 4: seek out positive twin stories and beliefs. I bet everyone has at least one aunt or grandma who has a story about someone who found out they were having twins the day they came. I have 36 year old twin friends who were born that way. It wasn’t that long ago that vaginal twin births were the norm.
I did whatever I could to control the situation. I ate more than I could bear. It ended up a good thing too. I only gained 45 lbs during the pregnancy and lost 40 within a week after the birth. Those babies used and needed every last steak and protein shake.
I chose to use Hypnobirthing to keep my head in the right place. It did work for my nerves and composure. It worked somewhat for surge management. Quite honestly, I found it all to be quite bearable, and that’s probably because of those hormones that weren’t suppressed by painkillers.
And I made sure my OB and I were absolutely clear on what I wanted. I showed my birth plan early, so we could really talk and negotiate. I asked for the moon so they could feel good when they got a few things back.
I guess I was unafraid, in spite of no previous experience, because I knew that others had succeeded before me. I knew it was POSSIBLE, and that’s all it took for me to stubbornly try for an unmedicated vag birth.

I also knew that things COULD have gone south, and I made sure I knew what to expect in a NICU setting. I mean, they do all the time with singleton births too. Is a twin birth really that much different than a singleton birth? Yes, a twin pregnancy is TOTALLY different, but the birth? In so many ways the answer is more not much more than we all may think, especially if there are separate sacs.
I remember that the biggest wild card was what would happen after Baby A was born. How would Baby B react? Would they flip, stretch out sideways, climb into my lung, etc etc. My midwife and I had a plan and as soon as Baby A was out, we both thrust our hands to my belly. She held the head in place and I had my forearm closing up the void where Baby A had been. That kid was going only one way and that was down.
All I can say is it worked.
  • tip 5: a good dose of stubborn goes a long way

I’m sorry this has gotten so long. And the sad thing is I have so much more to say. I just want to be a voice that helps balance what us women get thrust at us when we find out it’s two. It’s like all of a sudden, we’re suppose to give up and no longer have a say in what’s happening with OUR bodies. It’s still our pregnancy. It’s still just as dangerous to surgically remove babies when there’s two as when there’s one. You know?
I have noticed that the people God picks as twin (and more) moms are some really tough broads. And to be honest, that’s been a very useful trait so far in my multiple mom journey. You can DO THIS. Make this YOUR experience. A doctor has an educated opinion, but you have personal knowledge of your own strength. And if you’ve already given birth vaginally, you even have extra knowledge of how strong you and your body are. Good luck to all. I hope
a) at least one person reads this, LOL
b) at least 1 person is helped
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#2 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 12:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jude Rose View Post
I have noticed that the people God picks as twin (and more) moms are some really tough broads.
I'm going to keep this as one of my mantras ... "I am a tough woman", because it is SO true! Instead of asking "why me, God?", it's going to be "because He knows I can!"

Thank you for all of your tips/advice, and sharing your thoughts.

Good thing I have a big dose of stubborn, too ......

Catholic homeschooling mom of 5 - a teenager, a kindergartener, twin boys and a tiny princess. Follow the Adventures! 

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#3 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 01:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jude Rose View Post
I have noticed that the people God picks as twin (and more) moms are some really tough broads. And to be honest, that’s been a very useful trait so far in my multiple mom journey. You can DO THIS. Make this YOUR experience. A doctor has an educated opinion, but you have personal knowledge of your own strength. And if you’ve already given birth vaginally, you even have extra knowledge of how strong you and your body are.
to your whole post, and heck yeah to this part in particular. I spent a lot of time that first year wondering "why did this happen... this is not *normal* to have two babes at once... humans are meant to have just one babe at a time, why us?

Well, as my DP said when I finally voiced these thoughts, we were able to handle it. Maybe that was "why us".

Thanks for writing this!

I might add a tip -- do educate yourself and read books, but then put them aside. I started to panic at one point after I realized every twin pregnancy book I had had a chapter called "when one twin dies" or something like that. The thought of it was starting to swallow me up -- and then I just had to let it go. Yes, it's important to realize that can happen -- just like it could happen with a singleton stillbirth or new babe... dwelling (or obsessing) about it doesn't help, though.

Thanks again for this great post. And to all the pregnant mamas right now -- YOU CAN DO IT (yes you can!) (argh... too much Bob the Builder today home with sick kids!)
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#4 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 02:12 PM
 
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just wanted to say that it's wonderful that Jude took the time to write all that out for our current crop of preggo multiple moms. the only thing i have to add (which pretty much piggybacks the OP) is that just because a mom finds herself pregnant with more than one baby does not mean that she is entitled to any less rights or patient advocacy than a singleton mother. she is still entitled to be an informed, educated consumer of health care and is not required to submit to any demands made by her care provider or birth place. they are your babies and it is your body. your care provider can and should advise you on what they believe to be the best courses of action for your pregnancy and birth, but you are the ultimate decision making authority. it is not a matter of what they will "let" you do-- it is a matter of what you choose to do as you accept personal responsibility for your pregnancy, your birth and the precious lives you carry inside your body.

rock on with your bad twin momma selves!

Crunchy Mama to the Triad of Chaos-- DD1 (9/03) & the Twinadoes- DS and DD2 (6/06)
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#5 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 02:56 PM
 
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really tough broads
YES!!! This is exactly what I needed to hear.

Due to cholestasis, if nature doesn't get things going this week, I'm going to be induced next week. My doc is very clear that vag birth is our goal, as both babies are head down. But I know that the Pit will have me wanting some pain meds.

I really appreciate the tip about holding Baby B in place after Baby A is born. I gotta tell dh to help me hold the little one in place!

Thanks for taking the time to write out all above. I really, really appreciate it!
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#6 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 03:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Aw, guys, that really means a lot to her what you have to say. And a PP is right. I am strangled for more time, hello, I have twins, and stayed up past my bedtime to write this out. Why is sleep always the first sacrifice? wah wah.

Louise, I will send you extra support and prayers. Having those babies head down really puts you in the driver's seat. Don't let that Pit or those bad voices in your head drown out the real true you that knows she can make it through. Good luck!
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#7 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 03:05 PM
 
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she is still entitled to be an informed, educated consumer of health care and is not required to submit to any demands made by her care provider or birth place. they are your babies and it is your body. your care provider can and should advise you on what they believe to be the best courses of action for your pregnancy and birth, but you are the ultimate decision making authority. it is not a matter of what they will "let" you do-- it is a matter of what you choose to do as you accept personal responsibility for your pregnancy, your birth and the precious lives you carry inside your body.
I love what everyone has written so far and wanted to say YES to the above in particular, b/c for me this is what it all boils down to - one baby or more - it makes no difference. The point is (IMO, of course) the only person responsible for the outcome of your pregnancy and birth(s) is YOU, the mama. It's a huge burden to bear but it is yours to carry. Yes, you look to professionals and loved ones for opinions. Then you do your own research and soul searching and you decide what is right for YOU. This may be a scheduled c-section or it may be giving birth alone in the woods - and anything in between. But if the outcome is good or the outcome is bad, it's YOUR outcome. Not the doc's, b/c s/he recommended a course of action which proved to be good or bad - yours because YOU "let" it happen. They don't choose for you. They might not phrase things as an option and they might even dump you as a patient. But you are still their employer and you shouldn't be paying someone for a service that you do not feel in your heart of hearts is in your best interest. Even in my situation of a planned twin homebirth I had to "fight" (and I use quotes b/c it wasn't an argument but a mere hashing out of personal differences in how care should proceed) to gain my mw's consent to still attend me if I were carrying a breech baby(ies). Her stance - not safe. This wasn't a twin issue - she's just not cool with breech birth. She threw the brain-dead baby card my way, telling me of local cases, etc. But I did my research. I read up on the literature written by the mw known to be the leading authority on such a birth. I got myself and my dh comfortable with how we'd handle such a birth. And I gently explained to my mw my feelings. She still did not agree but she knew that I was taking responsibility for my births and that I was willing to accept personal responsibility for any outcome, good or bad. So IMO, that's the way birth should be. I know I'm a bit hard core for some but I cringe with the terms "deliver" and "let me". These aren't in my birth vocabulary. I give birth to my children - nobody is taking that power away from me, even if the end result is a section - it's still ME! And I don't "let" providers make my choices. I look to them for a reason but ultimately the choice is in my hands. It may not be an easy choice (like, perhaps, changing providers at the last minute) but if I can look back at my experience and know that I did everything within my power to make it what I wanted it to be, then all I can be is happy with myself, even if things didn't go the way I *wanted* them to, does that make sense?

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#8 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 03:21 PM
 
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BRAVO to all that! Well put, everyone!

Cindi, mama to Hannah (7/04) :, Eli & Sam (6/06) :
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#9 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 03:29 PM
 
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But I know that the Pit will have me wanting some pain meds.
hon- hang in there! what a great momma to perservere with cholestasis! talk about a tough woman. i had a doula client with this once and i know it's a challenging thing to deal with.

but i did want to add a word of encouragment and tell you that i had several doula clients who chose to use pit for a variety of reasons during their labors and ended up being able to cope just fine and NOT have pain meds. it is possible. pit doesn't automatically equal epi/meds for everyone. best wishes to you!!

Crunchy Mama to the Triad of Chaos-- DD1 (9/03) & the Twinadoes- DS and DD2 (6/06)
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#10 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 03:51 PM
 
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I have noticed that the people God picks as twin (and more) moms are some really tough broads.
Thank you so much for saying that! And for saying everything else you said, too, but that especially. That has always been the one thing that kept me going, when caring for these three was more than I believed I could handle-- if I wasn't capable of caring for them, they wouldn't have been given to me. As long as I kept that firmly in mind, I stayed in a good mental place. There were so many days where I was totally going to just run away from home, and many days when I swore to DH that we needed to give DD2 up for adoption because I was such a crappy mama to her, and every time he would remind me of that one thought and I'd take a deep breath and keep on going.

And now I believe that having gone through the pregnancy, with all its complications, and learning to nurse those tiny little babies, and struggling to care for all three for all those months that I did it alone, that I now can do ANYTHING. Anything at all.

And Leslie in Chicago, you're going to be FINE! I know you are! Before you know it, you'll be holding your two beautiful babies, and the godawful itching will be GONE (oh boy do I remember how wonderful a thought THAT was; at that point I think I was more focused on just getting rid of the itch, never mind the babies that were coming), and it's going to all be okay.

I did pit without meds for 5 hours. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't horrendous either, and I could have done it longer if I had to. Plenty of mamas do it, and if it's what you make up your mind to do, you will do it.

me knit.gif, he bikenew.gif, my three reading.gif, sleepytime.gif, and fairy.gif-- and the one we lost angel2.gif
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#11 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 03:59 PM
 
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I love what everyone has written so far and wanted to say YES to the above in particular, b/c for me this is what it all boils down to - one baby or more - it makes no difference. The point is (IMO, of course) the only person responsible for the outcome of your pregnancy and birth(s) is YOU, the mama. It's a huge burden to bear but it is yours to carry. Yes, you look to professionals and loved ones for opinions. Then you do your own research and soul searching and you decide what is right for YOU. This may be a scheduled c-section or it may be giving birth alone in the woods - and anything in between. But if the outcome is good or the outcome is bad, it's YOUR outcome. Not the doc's, b/c s/he recommended a course of action which proved to be good or bad - yours because YOU "let" it happen. They don't choose for you. They might not phrase things as an option and they might even dump you as a patient. But you are still their employer and you shouldn't be paying someone for a service that you do not feel in your heart of hearts is in your best interest. Even in my situation of a planned twin homebirth I had to "fight" (and I use quotes b/c it wasn't an argument but a mere hashing out of personal differences in how care should proceed) to gain my mw's consent to still attend me if I were carrying a breech baby(ies). Her stance - not safe. This wasn't a twin issue - she's just not cool with breech birth. She threw the brain-dead baby card my way, telling me of local cases, etc. But I did my research. I read up on the literature written by the mw known to be the leading authority on such a birth. I got myself and my dh comfortable with how we'd handle such a birth. And I gently explained to my mw my feelings. She still did not agree but she knew that I was taking responsibility for my births and that I was willing to accept personal responsibility for any outcome, good or bad. So IMO, that's the way birth should be. I know I'm a bit hard core for some but I cringe with the terms "deliver" and "let me". These aren't in my birth vocabulary. I give birth to my children - nobody is taking that power away from me, even if the end result is a section - it's still ME! And I don't "let" providers make my choices. I look to them for a reason but ultimately the choice is in my hands. It may not be an easy choice (like, perhaps, changing providers at the last minute) but if I can look back at my experience and know that I did everything within my power to make it what I wanted it to be, then all I can be is happy with myself, even if things didn't go the way I *wanted* them to, does that make sense?

I wanted to thank you (in particular) for posting this. I'm preggy with twins, and they are my firsts, and i'm having a homebirth. I've gotten so much $#*+ from people about "how can you have a homebirth with twins", "that's SOOOO dangerous", etc. like i haven't done my research, like i don't know all of the information about it, like it's anyone's decision other than me and my dh's. This is the type of birth we chose, we know what we're doing, and it's no one's decision but ours. But people take it personally that we're not conceding to laboring and giving birth on a hard metal table under bright lights in the OR on a time clock as we'd have to do at EVERY hospital in our network (i called and asked) and they get offended and try to push us towards a hospital birth. I think alot of times in birth mamas let themselves get pushed into things that they don't want to do or think is wrong because we all want our babies to be healthy. It's good to be reminded that no matter what, this is OUR birth and our responsibility and we can't allow doctors/friends/parents/relatives take our responsibility away from us. This is what we signed up for when we became mamas! so to you for reminding us of that!

SAHM to 2 year olds Tesla and Lucius. twins.gif
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#12 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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: Ditto to Devilish Fetish's entry!!! Thank you 2+Twins and all the other twin mamas!

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#13 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 04:32 PM
 
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Much thanks Jude!! I really, really needed that.

Like you, I am planning a hospital birth, albeit with a MW. I am extremely anxious about it. Had this have been a singleton birth, we would have been home.

It is hard work to advocate for yourself each step of the way, and especially with twins. To know about and plan for every complication, while at the same time keeping faith that everything will go smoothly has been tricky to say the least. While I feel good that I picked the right provider, it is hard to be completely secure because of the many different people, likely with their own procedures & preferences, certain to be involved. I am sucking in all of the good vibes, and taking notes from others.

And, I love your birth story. Love it.
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#14 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 05:04 PM
 
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What a wonderful thread! I don't have twins, I do love them to pieces- they amaze me, and their mothers and fathers always seem to be such amazing people! Seriously!

I also wanted to say that you should find a Twin friendly OB or Midwife. I have had OB's in three states, and some were very negative about twins or more. I think that if you can find a medical person that is supportive, even a little, you will be on the way to a happy pregnancy/delivery.

While I haven't had twins I did have a doula for my last pregnancy and I wish I had one for every pregnancy. My doula was avalible online, by phone, and for my delivery and it was awesome to share the good bad and ugly with someone that actually cared about ME, my family, and what I wanted. Finding someone that is upbeat, experienced with "normal", and is there for YOU, IMHO could be that driving force that helps you to be the Warrior Mother that all you Twin Mom's are!

Twin's Rock! You Mama's of Twins are Awesome!

Married to Michael and Mother of Jake 9, Jillianne 7, Jensen 5, Jacen 4. I've got severe osteoporosis, a fractured hip and chronic pain-so please be patient with me! Pagan,Crocheter,Reader,Homeschooler- that's me in a nutshell.

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#15 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 05:26 PM
 
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Thank you for this thread. It is nice to read. I felt like I had come so far with my singleton births. When I was pregnant with ds we pretty much went with whatever information was given to us and didn't really think there were other options. I suppose it's just what you're surrounded with. Going through pregnancy and birth and then the mothering of my ds I learned so much (a lot from MDC). By the time dd came along we went with a hospital birth but I felt much more in control. We started cosleeping from the start, practiced extended bf, etc... So, for the third time we got a midwife and planned a homebirth and then we found out it was twins and it felt like I went right back to the start not knowing what the heck I was doing . I have to keep reminding myself that I CAN do this. I am not as comfortable as some of you in completely trusting myself with every decision but I have come a long way and am happy knowing that I can still question doctors, midwives, etc... and know that I can provide some helpful insight. I'm not just a vessel to grow these babies (although I'm doing that pretty well too).

Thank you to everyone for posting your stories and thoughts!

Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)

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#16 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 11:15 PM
 
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As someone who had to temporarily relocate to another state at 36 weeks pregnant in order to have a birth with a provider who BELIEVED with all her heart in natural twin birth, I applaud ALL the twin mamas who didn't just hand over their dreams "just because it's twins." I drove to be near a twin-experienced midwife for my twin homebirth, I know folks who have flown in midwives for theirs, and folks who have done it unassisted if no providers would work with them. Everyone has their own comfort level, but wherever you give birth, the responsibility for it is YOURS.

I second the doula suggestion, and I'm also another who requested that my midwife and her assistant hold baby B in place (vertex) until she was firmly engaged.

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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#17 of 34 Old 02-27-2008, 11:32 PM
 
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Thank you so much for your post! This is the place I came to when I needed that bit of reassurance during my twin pregnancy.

I second the "read the books then dump them thing" I did not care for the fear factor to be always in the front of my mind. I instead went on to all of the positive birth stories I could find.

I took Sheila Kitzinger's quote about twins to heart:
Quote:
Bear in mind that a multiple pregnancy may increase your blood pressure, cause aches and pains and varicose veins, and put stress on your pelvis, simply because there are two or more babies bouncing around in there and being nurtured by your body. Yet there is no reason that the whole experience of pregnancy should be medicalized. It can be an exciting and happy experience in which you are in charge. Examine the evidence, weigh the advice the professionals give you and come to your own decisions about the birth.
THAT was what I needed to hear and that's what I did.

Missionary, birth-worker, midwifery student
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#18 of 34 Old 02-29-2008, 02:59 PM
 
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Thanks Jude Rose for spending the time to put all that down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jude Rose View Post
I have noticed that the people God picks as twin (and more) moms are some really tough broads.
I heard this a lot and it was actually a source of fear for me. First off 'God' didn't pick me to have twins. I did IVF, so I 'choose' it. Secondly, maybe 'God' picked for me to not have anymore children because I am weak. I think the whole emotional dynamic can change if you struggled with infertility first.

So IVF-pregnant moms- If you don't have the belief that 'God' choose you because of your inherent strength know that if you got to the stage of doing IVF then you've got to be strong! Infertility has nothing to do with your ability to birth and raise your children.

Hope that makes some sense.

Me.  With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.

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#19 of 34 Old 02-29-2008, 04:55 PM
 
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Aww, mumm, if God doesn't pick twins for you, he/she will still be there to help you figure it out and survive!!

Really having twins is a new reality, the same as having your first baby: A new routine, and a huge change in lifestyle, and a big dose of enforced patience and understanding.

Courtney wife to geek.gif and mom to 4 boys: chicken3.gif   . I need caffix.gif !
They're not typos. . . I can't spell!
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#20 of 34 Old 02-29-2008, 05:15 PM
 
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ctually a source of fear for me. First off 'God' didn't pick me to have twins. I did IVF, so I 'choose' it. Secondly, maybe 'God' picked for me to not have anymore children because I am weak. I think the whole emotional dynamic can change if you struggled with infertility first.

So IVF-pregnant moms- If you don't have the belief that 'God' choose you because of your inherent strength know that if you got to the stage of doing IVF then you've got to be strong! Infertility has nothing to do with your ability to birth and raise your children.

Hope that makes some sense.
Thanks for your insight on this Is it weird, though, that I still kind of think there is magic in twins (or more) however they come to be... why did both/all embryos implant when sometimes none implant? There's still fate/chance/the unknown at work, as much as there is for why a mama released two eggs (or more) in a certain month or why an embryo split... it's out of our control to some degree, isn't it, and (like in many aspects of parenting), we see ourselves live up to the challenges we couldn't have envisioned before.

But it could just be a survival mechanism... like I *have* to think there's something mystical about this wild and crazy life I now lead or else my head will explode??
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#21 of 34 Old 03-01-2008, 04:39 AM
 
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tip 1-Get an experienced doula that will advocate for your vaginal birth and help you weigh the truly valid concerns with the hospital’s myriad of CTA (cover their a$$) ones.
I totally agree with this. My doula is so well known/respected by the nurses, that we were left alone during my labour while the nurse went on her coffee break. Afterwards my doula explained that that *never* happens.

After pushing for well over an hour with no progress the OB started talking about vacuum and my doula had me change position again and lo and behold Natasha started to descend.
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#22 of 34 Old 03-01-2008, 03:37 PM
 
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I haven't made it through all the responses yet, but right now I'm crying too hard to go on. Okay, I'm preggers, so I'm a bit emotional. But I second everything that's been said. When I found out about my twins at 30 wks I SO did not want to change my birth plan, switch providers, and deal with all the medical people. In fact, I SO did not want to have twins at all! I remember saying things like: This isn't what I wanted. Why me? This isn't how it's supposed to be. For the last weeks of my pg and the delivery, I consented to a minimal number of things. Like Jude, my MW became my over-qualified doula, and I hired a doula as well. The birth was much better than my first (singleton) birth. And now, with my boys about to turn 2, I can say without hesitation that I LOVE having twins. This is exactly how our family is supposed to be. And I guess that's why it was me.

Leslie: I had pit during my first birth (pressured by scare tactics) and I consented to it between baby A and baby B (for a few minutes & continued afterwards for bleeding). I did not have pain meds either time. I don't remember the pit causing any more pain than without, although I have heard that. You may want to be open to taking it as it comes and if YOU feel the need for pain meds, then listen to that. No need to decide before you are there, though, IMO.

I believe there is a thread (or sticky?) of multiples birth stories in this forum that is a great read as well.

All my best to those of you who are expecting. Every one of you absolutely CAN do this. And I bet one of these days you'll even be glad you did.
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#23 of 34 Old 03-01-2008, 10:55 PM
 
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I was just re-reading this thread, and have to thank Jude again for starting it!


Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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#24 of 34 Old 03-30-2008, 02:59 PM
 
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bumping for newcomers
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#25 of 34 Old 03-30-2008, 06:58 PM
 
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Thank you for posting this thread. I am 28 weeks pregnant with 2 girls and i am a nervous wreck about my upcoming hospital birth. My CNM is a bit more medically minded than i wish she were, but her back-up doc who will be in the OR when i give birth is the only doc i want in my corner. So, i will have to fight a little bit to get the birth that i feel is safest for me and my babies. I did find a doula who is a training to take me on for free, so that is a blessing for us!
It is good to know that hospital birth does not always equal trauma, fear based medicine and c-section. I will hold your words close to my heart as my birth grows near.
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#26 of 34 Old 06-26-2008, 02:11 PM
 
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I love the range of experiences and empowerment represented in this thread.

:

joy.gifspread a lot of love joy.gif

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#27 of 34 Old 06-26-2008, 02:49 PM
 
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I am 13 weeks and had a prenatal exam last week where I tried to give my OB my birth plan and she said that I was jumping the gun and that I also have to keep in mind that with twins I might not get all that I want. That really scared me but then I thought about it and I will be birthing at a Kaiser which means that it isn't very likely that she will be delivering me anyways. I just know that towards the end I will have to coach my DH about how I want things to go down because I know he will be a great advocate for me, he can be a real asshole if he has to be I love him so much! I also will be looking into a doula. Thank you all for the pep talk!

twin boys born 11/28/08, pregnant with #3 due 3/13/12

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#28 of 34 Old 06-26-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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Jude, I think moms of twins born on January 25th are EXTRA tough broads

Great post, nothing to add :

treehugger.gif Erika
mom of twins.gif (8)  blahblah.gif(5) thumbsuck.gif (3) and baby.gif born at home on Christmas day! 
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#29 of 34 Old 06-26-2008, 06:17 PM
 
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I just know that towards the end I will have to coach my DH about how I want things to go down because I know he will be a great advocate for me, he can be a real asshole if he has to be I love him so much! I also will be looking into a doula. Thank you all for the pep talk!
Nice! My DH is the same way.

I just want to thank the OP for this post. I wish I'd seen it before I gave birth! My birth went well b/c I seeked out a like minded MD, although as you can see it came a bit earlier than we would have wanted.

We ARE tough broads! That made me really proud of myself.

xoxo

Mama to lovely twin girls 1/08
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#30 of 34 Old 06-26-2008, 10:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It was neat and surprising for me to see this thread back at the top during my visit to MDC today. You seem I love MDC and gave a huge part of my strength and knowledge during my pregnancy and my first months of new momhood.
BUT......I haven't been here lately.

The multiples board especially for a time seemed to be veering waaay too far into doctor worship mode. I am not your typical so crunchy I U/C my twins person. I chose a hospital birth. But that didn't mean I was giving my birth up and allowing the doctors to become benevolent dictators. And when I saw for a time around here many of my fellow multiple moms completely turning their power over to their OB's. I had to write this thread.
Those women have all had their births and are full into the unique world of being a MoM so now i can feel safe to express my disillusionment over the mainstream nature MDC was taking. Hopefully that was just an exception and won't become the norm. MDC is where women come to take their power back. There are plenty of places elsewhere to give it away.

I am grateful when it was my turn to come to the multiples board for the first time, I was encouraged to get educated, start eating for a healthy placenta, and take charge!
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