do you ever think some people are jealous of you and your twins? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-30-2008, 07:15 PM
 
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I know lots of people that do have twinv and I know that they have no idea how much work it takes. I however hold my head up proudly because I love all my babies and I wanted them so much that I prayed every night till they I saw them on the sono. I was one of the people that so badly wanted twins and had no idea what I was asking for, but I am so glad I did. I love having the twins, watching them together, I could have no greater joy. Even though it is so hard I sometimes want to pull all of my hair out. I will say this much I have had people tell me they had always wanted twins, then the others that say "Oh, I feel so sorry for you" and the others are the ones that piss me off. Dont feel sorry for my my babies needed each other to come into this world and that just means that I am extreamly blessed. So many people that need to just keep mouths shut.

Tiffany wife of 11 yrs to Karl:, DSD Ariel (16) DSS Kaleb (13) DD Jessika (5) twins Drake and Olivia (2) :and our sweet suprise, Lola (11mo):: two angels Sammy(03/06) and Alex (07/06)
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Old 06-30-2008, 11:29 PM
 
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No, she's still nuts...3 pregnancies/cesareans in 2 years (FOUR babies...AHHHH) and she is still talking about trying for one more right now. I really hope the fertility doc says um...no. Might sound mean but that many cesareans that close together...just so much risk. As it is her last baby was born at 29w (after a 3 month hospital stay by the mom) by emergency c-section because of major placenta previa and ubruption. She IS nuts...lol

Cari-mama to Eriq, Lile, Paikea, Kaidyn, and Mieke is here!! 2/9/10
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Old 07-02-2008, 03:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by f&p'smama View Post
.................
Anyway, I don't mean to get all finger-waggy, but is comments like that that seem naive to most multiples moms. I have to agree with you though, it's worth it in the long run. Twins are great. The jury is still out, in our case anyway, as to whether they feel like they get/got enough of me. They certainly have enough of each other.
Of course it will sound naive to people with multiples, but that does not mean that people who think they would love twins shouldn't wish for it or hope. Just like people who want to have kids and dream it will be oh so wonderful get a reality check when they actually get one, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have children.

Even if I were to keep having singletons, someone is not going to get enough of me. I am sure my next baby is not going to get ALL the same attention as DS did, but I don't believe I would be less AP because I have more than one to deal with.

I don't tell people IRL who have twins I wish it was me or they are lucky because of getting the whole roll eye, 'you don't know how it is', which I don't, but every family is different and I believe if you have family that will be their for you it will be a lot easier. I would cut the singletons a break because some of us only mean well, some of us singletons may actually enjoy it(of course they will be rough times), if it where to happen.
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Old 07-02-2008, 03:35 PM
 
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I've gotten more of the "I just got my u/s and thank God it's not twins!" Which I'm not sure is insulting or not, but I think it is said innocently enough. It kind of hurts my feelings, but I am also a sensitive person.

Mama to lovely twin girls 1/08
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Old 07-02-2008, 03:48 PM
 
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I've gotten more of the "I just got my u/s and thank God it's not twins!" Which I'm not sure is insulting or not, but I think it is said innocently enough. It kind of hurts my feelings, but I am also a sensitive person.
Those comments kind of hurt my feelings, too. My mother says stuff like that alot, like "I wouldn't wish twins on my worst enemy!" or "Thank goodness it is not twins this time." Why does she care if I have twins again or not? It is not like she is the one caring for them and they don't inconvenience her in any way.

Blessed mama of four
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Old 07-02-2008, 03:57 PM
 
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Even if I were to keep having singletons, someone is not going to get enough of me. I am sure my next baby is not going to get ALL the same attention as DS did, but I don't believe I would be less AP because I have more than one to deal with.
Maybe I'm feeling extra sensitive right now because we're going through our 6 week growth spurt but this is exactly the sort of comment that hurts my feelings. It seems to imply that I'm just not trying hard enough. I'm not saying that's what you meant at all but that's how it came across. I'm not less AP but my ability to take care of both babies at the same time is limited. I have two hands/arms and they're getting heavy. The day is soon coming when carrying them both at the same time to soothe them is coming to an end. Claire sits and cries while I bathe Ben and then they have to switch. With a singleton I might have had to put them down for a few minutes to cry while I quickly helped an older sibling or chased the 18 month old out of trouble but it's not been the same experience at all. Claire did a LOT of crying while Ben had an ear infection as he just needed me more. She cannot understand! She's not old enough to go and get involved in another activity while I rock her brother. Thank GOD she likes to suck a binky and look out the patio window...
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Old 07-02-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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chantel, you don't need to explain that here! this is a multiples support forum, iirc?!?! we have all been there and done it and it is sorta unspoken so that we can come here and bitch about all the annoying things that come along with the wonderfulness of multiples. so, back to the topic at hand
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Old 07-02-2008, 04:10 PM
 
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chantel, you don't need to explain that here! this is a multiples support forum, iirc?!?! we have all been there and done it and it is sorta unspoken so that we can come here and bitch about all the annoying things that come along with the wonderfulness of multiples. so, back to the topic at hand
You're right, thanks. I'm just feeling touchy right now. They NEEEEEED me so much! Thank goodness they both slept 6 hours last night, nursed, and then went right back to sleep until morning or I'd be a raving mess today!
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Old 07-02-2008, 04:25 PM
 
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Maybe I'm feeling extra sensitive right now because we're going through our 6 week growth spurt but this is exactly the sort of comment that hurts my feelings. It seems to imply that I'm just not trying hard enough. I'm not saying that's what you meant at all but that's how it came across. I'm not less AP but my ability to take care of both babies at the same time is limited. I have two hands/arms and they're getting heavy. The day is soon coming when carrying them both at the same time to soothe them is coming to an end. Claire sits and cries while I bathe Ben and then they have to switch. With a singleton I might have had to put them down for a few minutes to cry while I quickly helped an older sibling or chased the 18 month old out of trouble but it's not been the same experience at all. Claire did a LOT of crying while Ben had an ear infection as he just needed me more. She cannot understand! She's not old enough to go and get involved in another activity while I rock her brother. Thank GOD she likes to suck a binky and look out the patio window...

I'm not sure why you are explaining eighter. I said 'It doesn't make someone less AP because they have to deal with two(wheter it is twins or not)' I am not sure where that equate to -'Someone is not trying hard enough:'

I obviously don't belong here, I just like comming here to read because I admire people who have multiples just like a visit the single moms forum.
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Old 07-02-2008, 04:45 PM
 
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Hugs Chantel.

You do your best and I know that sometimes it doesn't feel anywhere good enough...but it is. I have to believe it is.

Hang in there mama!
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Old 07-02-2008, 05:59 PM
 
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I know just what you are saying Chantel :
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Old 07-02-2008, 06:46 PM
 
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I'm not less AP but my ability to take care of both babies at the same time is limited. I have two hands/arms and they're getting heavy. The day is soon coming when carrying them both at the same time to soothe them is coming to an end.
.......but it's making your *heart* bigger and better

xxx

joy.gifspread a lot of love joy.gif

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Old 07-02-2008, 11:35 PM
 
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Chantel, trust me, that day is NOT coming! You will develop arm muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger! You'll be holding them and soothing them both in your arms for YEARS.

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Old 07-02-2008, 11:40 PM
 
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Chantel, trust me, that day is NOT coming! You will develop arm muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger! You'll be holding them and soothing them both in your arms for YEARS.
: I remember noticing my biceps in the mirror one day then flexing them just to be sure - I ran to my dh and was like, "Look how buff I am from carrying the twins around!" They're an amazing upper body workout, that's for sure!

And I totally get what you're saying Chantel. It doesn't make us less AP at heart but it does make us (at least me) less able to be as AP as I could be with a singleton and certainly less AP in actions than I'd like.

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:30 AM
 
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You girls rock, you know that?
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:50 AM
 
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I totally agree about the muscles. It happens gradually but you will still be able to carry them both if necessary, up a flight of stairs at 2 years old. Or better yet, you will probably find yourself wearing one on the front and holding the other twin and Isabella under your arms like footballs as you dash to the car in the rain/snow, depending on where you live.

Blessed mama of four
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:51 AM
 
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.......but it's making your *heart* bigger and better

xxx
shukr, you are so sweet.

Mama to lovely twin girls 1/08
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:55 AM
 
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I totally agree about the muscles. It happens gradually but you will still be able to carry them both if necessary, up a flight of stairs at 2 years old. Or better yet, you will probably find yourself wearing one on the front and holding the other twin and Isabella under your arms like footballs as you dash to the car in the rain/snow, depending on where you live.
ITA - Chantel, today my dash was with one twin on my back, one twin on my left arm and my Dad's obnoxious dog on my right...running to try to catch up with B. What I would have given for someone to video THAT one. You'll be able to keep carrying and in a pinch you'll be amazed at what you can do, usually without even hurting yourself, ha ha.
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:07 AM
 
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: That is a great mental image, clancybaby! The muscles thing is really fun-it is like having super powers! My MIL, who is extremely fit and much stronger and healthier than me, went to pick up one of my twins and she could barely lift him. She told dh "your wife picks them up all the time like they weigh nothing-I did not expect him to be so heavy."

Blessed mama of four
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:35 AM
 
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: That is a great mental image, clancybaby! The muscles thing is really fun-it is like having super powers! My MIL, who is extremely fit and much stronger and healthier than me, went to pick up one of my twins and she could barely lift him. She told dh "your wife picks them up all the time like they weigh nothing-I did not expect him to be so heavy."
"I carry twins, what's your super power?!?"
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:48 AM
 
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"I carry twins, what's your super power?!?"
exactly!
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:29 PM
 
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There is obviously something about twins. People often ask if our girls are twins, and are clearly disappointed when I say that they aren't. The girls aren't interesting as soon as people find out that they are, "just sisters."

I admit that I've wished for twins. Mainly because having two kids at one time is more efficient if you want a larger family. Mind you, I'm not hoping for twins anymore. Four kids would be fine, five would be a bit much for us.

There was a mom of twins who lived near us. I used to see her on the bus sometimes, and when our second was born she said that she'd rather have twins than singletons close together. I'll admit, an infant and a young toddler was more work than two preschoolers who can pass for twins. Once the kids were old enough to sort of be at the same stage of things we could do more stuff in parallel (same toys, books, food, clothes, bedtime, bath time, friends, etc) that's when things got easier.

Mostly it helps that they are such good friends. The girls have spats, but they go off and play for hours together. It lets me get a lot of stuff done, and it's nice that have each other for companionship. One is so lonely when the other one isn't around.

Julie - Mom to Elizabeth (Libby) age 6, Penelope (Penny) age 5, Elliott age 29 months, and Oscar who is 1 year old!
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Old 07-10-2008, 11:20 PM
 
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This is a little different direction than ya'll have been going with this, but I've had such a hard time with my friends struggling with fertility and telling them that I, who had not been TTC, much less on fertility, was pregnant, and then telling them it was twins. It was so awkward and painful...knowing that they were jealous and rightfully so. Knowing that if I were them I would probably hate me a little...
it makes me sad. My sil came right out and told me she was jealous because they were only able to have one. I felt terrible and didn't know what to say at all....
On the other hand, I feel incredibly jealous of people who have one single angelic baby at a time...
I am overwhelmed with love for our little girls, but sometimes I imagine how much easier it might have been....
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Old 07-11-2008, 11:03 AM
 
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I totally agree about the muscles. It happens gradually but you will still be able to carry them both if necessary, up a flight of stairs at 2 years old. Or better yet, you will probably find yourself wearing one on the front and holding the other twin and Isabella under your arms like footballs as you dash to the car in the rain/snow, depending on where you live.

I can still grab both of my girls and pick them up on each hip (or where my hips used to be) and it is quite a sight! I only wish my other muscles were as strong as my arms have gotten.

Heather, Army wife & Mama to M (10), J (9), L & S (my HBAC babies are 7!), N & R (5), and A (born 11/30/12 UBA2C)
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Old 07-11-2008, 01:34 PM
 
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I can still grab both of my girls and pick them up on each hip (or where my hips used to be) and it is quite a sight! I only wish my other muscles were as strong as my arms have gotten.
Same here, all around! My friends are always amazed that I still carry them both sometimes. I tell them I'd rather have the physical pain than the pain from hearing them screeeeeeeeeeeeeam!

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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