remind me why I should keep nursing them? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 06:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know I'm exhausted and stressed and not thinking clearly, but today's just been awful.

Really fussy one year old twins wanting to nurse and be held all.the.time. This makes it hard (impossible?) to properly care for my two older kiddos. I get frustrated with the whole thing, get impatient with everyone.

If we try to go outside Lily wants to try and walk everywhere (which she can't quite do without harming herself) and Doug either sits and eats ANYTHING (mulch, dirt, sand, sidewalk chalk??) or crawls (superfast) in the opposite direction from Lily. Makes me want to stay inside all day but that seems to make the babes want to nurse all day.

I'm just feeling like non nnursing babies would be easier. But I don't really want to feel that way!

Tell me why I should keep nursing? Come on. I know, but I need multiples moms to tell me!
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#2 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 07:18 PM
 
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Tell me why I should keep nursing? Come on. I know, but I need multiples moms to tell me!

I want you to keep on nursing, so that your babes will continue to be healthy, and so that (purely selfish!) you can cheer me on this time next year, if I'm feeling frustrated!!

Hugs to you ... and hang in there!

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#3 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 07:27 PM
 
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Today has been hellish here, too.
I can't imagine nursing twins much past 1 year old, personally, or at least not for the bulk of their nutrition past 1 year... but that's me and what will likely suit my lifestyle and my ideas for parenting.

I think if you make it to 1 year with twins, you've done one heck of a job. And if you want to go longer, of course you can! You've already made it this far with your twinners!

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#4 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 07:36 PM
 
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I could have written your post; my girls turned one last week. I've been thinking of the "don't offer, don't refuse" refrain I've heard from LLL and wondering what would happen if I just stopped offering.

But then I think about how often I used nursing as a tool in calming my older kids when they were 18-32ish months old and I realize I'll need all the help I can get then.

I think about how during the winter months I'll want their colds and sicknesses to be minimal because I don't to deal with two sick one year olds.

My older kids got several years, so the twins should too.

Because then I'll have bragging rights with friends and in-laws who can't even imagine bf one baby for several years never mind having enough milk for two.

Because then I have an excuse for hanging onto some of that extra baby fat.

But it is hard. I was so pathetic at the beach today. Babies munching on the sand, snail shells, pine cones. Sand covering everyone, everything and them wanting to nurse at the same time. Um, hello, I'm in my swim suit, still have 3 other kids to make sure don't drown and I think you are going to have to nurse one after the other.

I think that next summer will be the last hard one. Then it should all be cake. Right? Right? Please someone tell me that it will be.

Keep on nursing....

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#5 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 08:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I could have written your post; my girls turned one last week....

I think that next summer will be the last hard one. Then it should all be cake. Right? Right? Please someone tell me that it will be.

Keep on nursing....
Thanks so much for your post! (everyone)
I knew there were a couple of us who had twins about the same age so its helpful to read that you're struggling too. Sorry. But it is.
I keep thinking that everyone said it gets better after they turn one and its not. In fact, its harder in ways!!

But, you are right. Right about immunity this winter, right about comfort as they toddle. And while I think by winter I'll be ready to cut back from the "on demand" I don't really want them to be done. What I want is for it to be easier...
anyway, thanks.
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#6 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 09:33 PM
 
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I feel like it has gotten easier. The older they get, the less they nurse (mine are currently 27 months). One of my twins is a hardcore nurser still and will tend to want to nurse if I dare to sit down, for example, however, he's much older now and will actually accept "not right now" for an answer (not always, but often). Hang in there - you know it's for the best and things will get easier in time - but probably closer to the 18 month mark.

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#7 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 09:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel like it has gotten easier.
Everytime I see you post, I think...that's so similar to our situation. So, its good to read that you think it gets easier. It was hard though?? Or am I just so bad at this its just hard for me???
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#8 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 10:35 PM
 
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Everytime I see you post, I think...that's so similar to our situation. So, its good to read that you think it gets easier. It was hard though?? Or am I just so bad at this its just hard for me???
No, you're not bad at this! There have been many times where it's been hard for me and also many times where it's been easy. For example, I can't imagine having to deal with bottles on top of everything else. The convenience factor and ability to soothe them has been invaluable to me. But, until I nursed twins I never experienced the whole "touched out" phenomenon. That's something I've really struggled with and have been less that gentle at times with the twins simply from having had too much. Still, I'm thankful every day that I've been able to do this and at this point keeping it up is the only thing that feels natural to me.

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#9 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 10:37 PM
 
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Nursing twin toddlers is so rewarding! Just hang in there! One is a tough stage because of all the new milestones that seem to happen so quickly. My girls are 2 and I am constantly entertained by the way they talk about nursing... and the way they take turns nursing. If nothing else, it's taught them patience.

Heather, Army wife & Mama to M (10), J (9), L & S (my HBAC babies are 7!), N & R (5), and A (born 11/30/12 UBA2C)
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#10 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 10:47 PM
 
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It was hard though?? Or am I just so bad at this its just hard for me???
You are totally normal! It IS hard nursing twins. When they get older it has its advantages and disadvantages. It is easier because the twins are big and can get themselves into position to nurse, you can tandem nurse lying down, etc. But it is harder because they get more active, then start to fight and I remember it feeling like I was caught in the middle of a war zone. I think it gets fairly easy around 2 years because they can understand more and you can set limits and boundaries. Besides the pain of nursing through pregnancy, I am really enjoying nursing my twins (2.5 years) now. They know it hurts and they say "I be careful Mommy." It's really cute. I figure that nursing twins is such a sacrifice and so time-consuming in the early months that it would be a shame to cut it short. I worked hard to get here so I want to take advantage of the easier part, if that makes sense.

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#11 of 27 Old 07-03-2008, 11:23 PM
 
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it is totally hard! and totally worth it!
mine are 20 months, still going strong, crazy strong actually
but they are so cute about it. they stroke the others hair and hold hands and fall asleep looking into sister's eyes. they hum this funny little nursing song together while they drift off to sleep. they can just walk up to your lap and nurse standing up, it is not such an ordeal as they get older, you know, get the nursing pillow, get a jug of water and settle in for 1/2 hour. i agree about everything everyone said, especially about teaching patience.
this is coming from a mom who just finished with ANOTHER bout of mastitis and i still just sing the praises of nursing. ok, 2 days ago i was about to throw in the towel
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#12 of 27 Old 07-04-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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It is extremely hard nursing twins! But you're doing it! I can remember several times when I wanted to throw in the towel, but we ultimately kept going until my twins were about 33 months old.

Why keep going? Because it makes them healthier. Because it's the fastest cure for a bumped leg or a bruised ego. Because the safety and love they feel at your breast will never be duplicated for them again. Because when they get verbal and tell you how sweet your milk is and actually say "thank you" at the end of a nursing session, you'll feel a joy and satisfaction beyond belief. Because it does get easier again. Because there are ways of setting boundaries to get you out of the all-or-nothing battle. Because you can do it; you know in your heart what an incredible gift you are giving them and the example you are setting for your older children.

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#13 of 27 Old 07-04-2008, 12:58 AM
 
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I could have written your post; my girls turned one last week. I've been thinking of the "don't offer, don't refuse" refrain I've heard from LLL and wondering what would happen if I just stopped offering.
I know exactly what would happen!

They would spot you from across the room, run straight at you. One would grab your legs while the other one jumps up and knocks you to the ground.

Bingo....milky for everyone!!!

On a serious note, I could have written your post any time over the last year and my answer is that when my 19 month old sustained a very serious burn over a decent percentage of her body while I wasn't home and rode to the hospital in an ambulance without me, you had better believe I was the most grateful mama alive to be able to lean over that table in the ER and nurse her and let her know mama was with her! I don't know how I could ever wean her after that!

Come on mama! You can do it!!
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#14 of 27 Old 07-04-2008, 07:17 AM
 
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I keep thinking that everyone said it gets better after they turn one and its not. In fact, its harder in ways!!

.
I've been in a bit of a funk that past few weeks and I think it is because I took that to heart. And it is still really hard, but in a different way. Somehow I had that one year mark in my head as a milestone, and it passed by both unacknowledged as an accomplishment and without any changes in out life.

Tassy- lol. I sometimes wait a little but then I see where it is going and I know a few minutes of nursing will change the course of the afternoon. Plus my 7 year old steps in first "Mum, just nurse her, she's starting to be a pest!"

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#15 of 27 Old 07-04-2008, 08:06 AM
 
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I'll weigh in and say that for us at least weaning hasn't made it any easier. It's just made it harder, because now I've lost one of my best tools in caring for them. Nursing was always the easiest and best way to reconnect and calm them down and fulfill their need to cling. Without it, it's so much harder to keep everybody happy and satisfied. They still cling, even more now because they're not getting that nursing time, and they've gotten very jealous of me and my attention as a result.

Mine are almost 17 months old.

I had to make a hard decision to wean them in the last month because of my health. I have had an uncontrolled chronic disease since they were born, and I've been putting off going on the meds I need because they're one of the few drugs out there that are really too risky for nursing. Anyway, we've weaned now, and it really is much much harder than it was before.

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#16 of 27 Old 07-04-2008, 09:22 PM
 
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Having twins is hard, even if you aren't nursing, and if you wean, you won't have the extra dose of hormones to keep you sane!

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#17 of 27 Old 07-05-2008, 01:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for the encouragement and reasons! I'm feeling so guilty about the time it takes away from my older kiddos.

Llyra--its so helpful to read that weaning didn't make things easier. ty!
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#18 of 27 Old 07-05-2008, 01:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been in a bit of a funk that past few weeks and I think it is because I took that to heart. And it is still really hard, but in a different way. Somehow I had that one year mark in my head as a milestone, and it passed by both unacknowledged as an accomplishment and without any changes in out life.

I think I am in that funk too. I was hoping for some magical reprive at a year...or at least some amazing sense of accomplishment. I have no idea why I expected either!
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#19 of 27 Old 07-05-2008, 07:19 PM
 
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I know I'm exhausted and stressed and not thinking clearly, but today's just been awful.

Really fussy one year old twins wanting to nurse and be held all.the.time. This makes it hard (impossible?) to properly care for my two older kiddos. I get frustrated with the whole thing, get impatient with everyone.

If we try to go outside Lily wants to try and walk everywhere (which she can't quite do without harming herself) and Doug either sits and eats ANYTHING (mulch, dirt, sand, sidewalk chalk??) or crawls (superfast) in the opposite direction from Lily. Makes me want to stay inside all day but that seems to make the babes want to nurse all day.

I'm just feeling like non nnursing babies would be easier. But I don't really want to feel that way!

Tell me why I should keep nursing? Come on. I know, but I need multiples moms to tell me!

I was exhausted too when my twins were 12 months. I had bf my oldest until after 3 so it was hard for me to do this but I weaned my twins at 13 months. I wish I had had the energy to keep going but I just didn't. I had twin 1 yos, a 2 yo and a 5 yo and no help or family nearby. I was just exhausted and stressed.

I took about two weeks to lovingly wean them and one was mad for a while. But I gave them lots of love and tenderness and good nutrition. Most of all, I gave them my heart.

Trust your instincts and it really is okay if you are done. If you can eek out more time that is awesome! But if you can't, its really okay. FWIW though, I didn't get out much until the twins were 3.
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#20 of 27 Old 07-05-2008, 07:28 PM
 
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I haven't read all of the replies yet, but I have 13 month old twins and trust me - I have plenty of moments when I'm ready to wean too! (Especially now that they some days they still nurse a lot and somedays hardly at all and I've gotten a few plugged ducts as a result...)

But weeks like this one make me SO glad that they're still nursing. They are both getting their last one year molar and already starting to get all four eye teeth AND one of them had infections in both ears. We wouldn't have made it through without nursing!

For us, for the moment - even though it's tempting at times, I know that weaning would be way harder in reality than continuing to nurse.

Don't know if any of that was helpful but just wanted to add another voice saying we're there too!
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#21 of 27 Old 07-05-2008, 07:38 PM
 
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Tell me why I should keep nursing? Come on. I know, but I need multiples moms to tell me!

From my heart, one of my best things I've ever done on this Earth is bf my two until they were 4. I can just see the energy that I put into them come out in such a postive mode---and it's worth everything it took. Everything that's worthwhile takes hard work & sacrafice---I commend you for this thankless job with a THANK YOU!
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#22 of 27 Old 07-06-2008, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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From my heart, one of my best things I've ever done on this Earth is bf my two until they were 4. I can just see the energy that I put into them come out in such a postive mode---and it's worth everything it took. Everything that's worthwhile takes hard work & sacrafice---I commend you for this thankless job with a THANK YOU!

Wow, you are one dedicated mama! Four years is such a gift!
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#23 of 27 Old 07-06-2008, 08:53 PM
 
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I'm SO glad that this thread was started!! I have been feeling the same way. My twin boys are 20 months (21 months on Wed) and they nurse ALL. THE. TIME. Part of it is when one wants to nurse, the other one has to nurse too. I can't walk into the room without them wanting nah nahs..It can be exhausting.

There are many many many days that I contemplate weaning them, but I'm kinda glad to read that weaning doesn't necessarily mean it'll be easier..
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#24 of 27 Old 07-08-2008, 06:14 PM
 
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There are many many many days that I contemplate weaning them, but I'm kinda glad to read that weaning doesn't necessarily mean it'll be easier..
This. exactly. My guys are only 10 months, but after many, many bouts of mastitis and thrush and months and months of sore nips, there are days when I feel like I just can't do it anymore. But then I think of what it would actually mean, like the logistics of weaning them. And I have to remind myself that they would still wake up to nurse, only I wouldn't have any milk for them. They would be heartbroken! And so would I! So thanks for this thread. We are all supermoms for nursing our twins and being so dedicated!
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#25 of 27 Old 07-28-2008, 03:02 PM
 
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Bumping this for my own benefit and maybe someone else's.

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#26 of 27 Old 07-29-2008, 01:23 AM
 
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For example, I can't imagine having to deal with bottles on top of everything else. The convenience factor and ability to soothe them has been invaluable to me.


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But, until I nursed twins I never experienced the whole "touched out" phenomenon. That's something I've really struggled with and have been less that gentle at times with the twins simply from having had too much.
:

Our boys are now 19.5 months old and nurse often. I notice that it is a very useful tool in smoothing over the biting and pinching - of which there is a LOT! Once in a while I feel ready to be done, but I think actually it's just that "touched out" feeling. In the very next split second, I'm flooded with warm recognition of how much they love it.

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#27 of 27 Old 08-02-2008, 09:21 AM
 
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Mine just turned one as well. At one point last week I just felt like I couldn't keep it up. "It sure would be easier on me if I could just shove bottles in their mouths."

But then I looked down and Shira was picking Miriam's nose while nursing and I figured I'd be missing out if I weaned them LOL

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