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Old 07-06-2008, 09:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DS's are entering public kindergarten this fall. They have never attended any sort of schooling prior to this.

Should we request they be in the same room or separate? I am not sure what the teacher student ratio is yet. I won't find out much until registration mid-August.

I think they'd maybe distract one another but then they have very different personalities, so I think they'd make friends (both very easily!) with others. I am sure the school will have suggestions for us, but really, I'd like to hear from other mama's of multiples first.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:07 AM
 
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Not a parent to multiples so take this with a grain of salt.

My DD's are 14 months apart and 1 grade apart. If I could have them in the same class doing the same thing I would take it! Same homework, field trips ( I have to chose who I go with b/c they have gone on the same day, different place), class projects, same lunch schedule (for when I got to eat with them), ect.

Just something to think about.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:12 AM
 
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i keep running into twins adults and after a friendly chat and if they seem nice, i always ask if they have any advice for a twin mom. almost every single one of them gave me the advice to keep them together in school. especially early on when they first started school, they had horrible memories of being separated. most tried varying degrees of both and said that some of the issues of being together (relying on each other...) came up but it was still far better than the apart phase and they still did fine socially and academically together. i tell them i am homeschooling, blahblahblah. but i find it very interesting and thought i would pass that on! just my own little social research project
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:32 AM
 
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I also have a friend who's a twin and she said the separation was horrible on both her and her sister.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maxymum View Post
i keep running into twins adults and after a friendly chat and if they seem nice, i always ask if they have any advice for a twin mom. almost every single one of them gave me the advice to keep them together in school. especially early on when they first started school, they had horrible memories of being separated.
That's what I keep hearing, too.

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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Old 07-06-2008, 01:49 PM
 
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Oh jeez, you guys are killing me. My twin boys are starting in the fall and the school is really into separating them for EVERY.SINGLE.GRADE.

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Old 07-06-2008, 01:56 PM
 
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well why wouldn't they at least TRY keeping them together and see if it works? why do they anticipate issues? it is probably easier for the school to separate than to work through issues as the arise (as i answer my own question).
maybe some teacher moms here can give you better advice
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Old 07-06-2008, 03:20 PM
 
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Mine aren't of school age yet but I plan to keep them together, unless something weird comes up btwn now and then that would make that an obviously bad choice.

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Old 07-06-2008, 03:37 PM
 
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I know they are young but can you ask them what they would want? I dont have twins either, but I know my kids at kindy age had strong opinions already on what they wanted/didnt want. I would ask them, seriously. If they say "NO!!! Dont seperate us!!!" then I think you have your answer

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Old 07-06-2008, 09:26 PM
 
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Well one of my twin boys sees a therapist, and I asked her if she thought it would be appropriate to separate them or keep them together, and she thinks separating is okay. So we'll see how it goes.

She can always write a note if it's not working, and then the school will make an exception.

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Old 07-07-2008, 01:07 AM
 
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I always thought I'd keep mine together, but they are starting kindergarten this fall, and we're actually really excited about separating them. They have been in preschool together for two years, though, so this will not be their first school experience (and they will each have several friends from preschool in their classes).

Having them together thus far hasn't been an issue exactly--they get along well at school and are relatively independent (don't rely on each other), play with other kids, do separate activities, etc. That said, they are very competitive in everything they do. They can't help but compare themselves to each other. We realized after sending them to school one-at-a-time a few times (when one kid was sick), that they have amazing days at school when they were there alone (this was especially true for one of our twins). And they were always so happy to see each other after a day apart.

My hope is that having them in separate classrooms next year will decrease the competition between them and allow them to better enjoy their time at home together. We can change our minds and put them back together in first grade if we want to.

Lex

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Old 07-07-2008, 08:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, my boys do great apart even at night when one goes to the IL's to sleepover.

So they are pretty independent but they also like each others company as well, of course.

I'd think I'd just try them separate and if it doesn't work, we'd talk to the school about putting them back together. But I dislike doing that and I know we'd probably have a fight on our hands with the school as well.

I'll have to talk to DH more about it. I appreciate the input here. Thank you!

PS I'd ask them what they want but they really don't grasp the full idea of what school is. You ask them what they want (anything to do with school) and they aren't sure. :/
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Old 07-07-2008, 03:29 PM
 
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My boys were in the same class in K, and separate classes thereafter.

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Old 07-07-2008, 10:25 PM
 
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My twin boys were in separate classes for k. last year.
I actually made that choice myself, the school had a new policy that they have to call the parent and ask what they would like for their twins. (Before it was an a given that they would be in different classes.)
Now I decided this on:
My twins have been in a daycare setting since the age of 2. (Where I work)
They are very different. Brent needs more help and is slower to catch things while the Cam is usually ahead of his brother and needs a challenge.
They are not emotionally dependent on each other and do well separated. (There is actually more of an emotional issue about being apart from their older siblings, than each other)

It worked out very well. They each got the attention that they needed, nobody expected one to be like his brother. I felt like their teachers were able to see them more as an individual.
In fact I would have to say that the only down side was that Brent got work sent home and Cam's teacher didn't send any. (Cam was actually upset about not getting homework.) But this was easily fixed by simply making a copy of the assigned work even if Cam didn't have to turn it in.

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Old 07-08-2008, 09:10 AM
 
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We separated our twins for Kindergarten because we felt they needed the separation. Last school year we put them back together for First grade and they will be together from here on out until we want them separted. We put them together mainly so they would have the same homework. The teachers at our school our so different and for us it is easlier if they have the same thing to do. They know they are not in the same class to remind the other what to bring home and they did not even try to cheat on their homework; at least not yet. It worked out really well last year and their teacher and principal recommended it again. The principal also has twins and she and I talked before Kindergarten about this. She was very helpful.
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Old 07-08-2008, 11:06 AM
 
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i plan on separating mine for kindergarten. they'll be together this year for preschool but i think that mine, who are VERY hard to tell apart, will do better being separated. they LOVE having time alone with mommy or daddy and although they are best friends (and tell us so often) they also fight a lot. one tends to be more dominant when it comes to making decisions, and i would prefer if they each had time to blossom and develop their own friendships outside of the one they have with each other. however, if they seem to be miserable being separated or beg not to be, we'll rethink this decision.

i definintely think this is one of those things that there is no right or wrong answer to, it depends on the family and the children. my best friends growing up were identical twin girls and they were separated all throughout elementary school and they seemed to prefer it that way. like my kids, one of them had a stronger personality and was definitely more "in control" when they were together, but separated they were both able to fend for themselves.
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Old 07-10-2008, 06:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hillary, you present another dilemma now.. my boys also look very much alike. Hmm.

I asked my boys the other day and they both insisted they wanted to be in the same room together. But as DH and I were talking, we feel that maybe the first day would be difficult (for maybe the first hour, if that!) on them. But after that, they'd enjoy it and not mind being apart. Plus it may do them some good in more ways than one. I see pros and cons to both, so I am still undecided. Though I just know the school will push to have them separated.

Thanks again everyone. You've all given me more to think about regarding this. I appreciate that.
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Old 07-13-2008, 03:45 PM
 
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I have to say that I am so glad that I found this site,I only wish that I found it years ago. Anyway I am so glad that I found this thread because I am have a big dilema on this very subject. My twin boys are going into 2nd grade. Up to this point thye have been together in the sam class. I made the decision to keep them together because they have been best frriends,unseperable up to this point(in kind) how could I break them up at this very vulnerable point intheir lives. So I talked to alot of people including the principle who himself is a twin and he said that as long as it is not interfearing witht he education process he see's no reason why the have to be seperated. Well thier kind. teacher was jsut a nightmare,she was so awful they ahted her I hated her it was the worst. So we stayed together in first grade,then we started to notice that we thought that one of them was having dificulty learning. then we noticed that the other twin was holding back and the teacher said that is a problem with keeping them together that one would hold back to not make the other feel bad that he was not getting it,so that he was not smarter than hs twin. So anyway we tested the one and he does have a learning disability so he is going to be pulled out of class20% of the day to be one on one with a teacher and we did not want the other one to see him being pulled out and he is not so he might feel left behing not being pulled out. That the one with a disability was getting something special and he was not.

But I am starting to rethink it maybe we should leave them together and just explain to them why he is getting extra attention that it is ok. I hoep that I did not confuse you all I just do not know what to do. Some say split then others say to leave them together.

Is there a right answer here? is one option better than the other or do they both have pros and cons? any help I would greatly appreciate. Glad to meet you all and look forward to many more conversation on our twins.

sharon
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Old 07-18-2008, 09:25 PM
 
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and for very similar reasons as Srenea04. By the time the were 5, they were very cognizant of differences with one of them tending to feel responsible for the other. They are now thriving, very close starting 3rd graders. It worked for my two but I can imagine situations where keeping together would also be a good choice, children dependent.

Good luck figuring it out.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by srenea04 View Post
My twin boys were in separate classes for k. last year.
I actually made that choice myself, the school had a new policy that they have to call the parent and ask what they would like for their twins. (Before it was an a given that they would be in different classes.)
Now I decided this on:
My twins have been in a daycare setting since the age of 2. (Where I work)
They are very different. Brent needs more help and is slower to catch things while the Cam is usually ahead of his brother and needs a challenge.
They are not emotionally dependent on each other and do well separated. (There is actually more of an emotional issue about being apart from their older siblings, than each other)

It worked out very well. They each got the attention that they needed, nobody expected one to be like his brother. I felt like their teachers were able to see them more as an individual.
In fact I would have to say that the only down side was that Brent got work sent home and Cam's teacher didn't send any. (Cam was actually upset about not getting homework.) But this was easily fixed by simply making a copy of the assigned work even if Cam didn't have to turn it in.
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Old 07-18-2008, 09:48 PM
 
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I am going to jump in on this even though my twins are too young to even consider school at this point! We are a homeschooling family. As a result all of my kids are very close. I see that as an asset throughout growing up and especially as adults. It is not like they will all be living together as adults but they will always have eachother to rely on. It is not like any of them are crazy clingy (at least any more than is developmentally appropriate at their young ages) and I just don't think having a very strong bond with a sibling of any age is a bad thing. I am sure in most cases, it is not debilitating and they are still able to make friends. If anything having this solid example of a loving relationship will serve them well in the long term as they choose friends and partners for life. So perhaps instead of seeing a close twin bond as something to move beyond into independence (At 5yo) allow them to foster it!

HTH!!
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Old 07-20-2008, 12:10 AM
 
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My girls were in a 3 year old class at a weekday school this year and hardly even played together. Every morning they would split up as soon as we got there. Had different friends, everything. They are going to Montessori this year for pre-k and it's their policy to split them up. The girls are excited about it. My girls, especially the youngest, thrive on being independent of each other. They are just total opposites, hard to believe they even came the same day. I think it totally depends on the twins and their relationship with each other.

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Old 09-09-2008, 12:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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To update..

The school didn't listen to my desire to have them in the same class. They split them up. So I told the principal that fine, we'd see how it went and if I felt they'd do better together, I'd talk with the teachers and we would put them together.

Well they've been in school for only one week but they are doing great apart. I really think that even though they are so close it in a way could hinder them if they were together (read: DISTRACTIONS!! LOL). They seem to value their time together that much more once we are home as well.

So for now it is working and they are happy with it as am I.
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Old 09-09-2008, 04:48 AM
 
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The new conventional wisdom is together for Kindergarten (so that they can adjust to school without also having to simultaneously adjust to being apart), apart for other grades by parental/teacher recommendation.

We didn't have a choice this year because there was only 1 half-day class, but I had already said that I wanted them together. All 3 of my kids will (hopefully) be in the same 1/2 mixed grade classroom next year.

But there are a lot of factors to consider.

My boys are MZ, but I don't allow them to dress alike on school days. They're also very vocal about correcting people when they're wrong on names.
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Old 09-09-2008, 09:56 AM
 
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Things are going great for my separated kindergarteners too! They still get to see each other often through the course of the day. Their play time together at home has been much improved (it's only been a few days, but they have yet to fight at home since school started).

We are quite happy with the whole situation (it was our choice to separate them, there is another set of twins who are together. Our kids had already been together for two years of preschool).

Lex

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Old 09-10-2008, 05:42 AM
 
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Glad to hear things are going well for your twins in separate classes.

I have read only a bit about this, but have gleaned that there are many recommendations for keeping twins together throughout elementary school - unless behavioral problems are exhibited (and are the sort of behavioral problems that are exacerbated by the twins staying in the same classroom).

Our school is small enough that there is only one class! I'm grateful for that.

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Old 09-10-2008, 03:30 PM
 
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I actually like what the boys' school did for us: they're in separate classes, but their teachers team-teach, so they are together for recess, lunch, and a few other times during the day.

The boys seem happy :

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Old 09-11-2008, 05:32 AM
 
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It really depends on the twins. My 32 month old twin boys handle seperation just fine.

When they see each other again, they wrap their arms around each other in the cutest hugs. So sweet!
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