If your twins were your first kiddos... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 31 Old 07-24-2008, 03:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Did you have more children (or are you planning on more)? How far apart are they? I am mostly just being nosy - interested in other people's thought processes. My mz dds are 2.5 and some days I really want a third and some days I think I'd pull my hair out. I go around and around. So just interested in what others are thinking!

TIA!
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#2 of 31 Old 07-24-2008, 03:25 PM
 
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We are done. My dh just got "fixed" last month. One major reason was my health, I wasn't suppose to have one baby, let alone twins with my med conditions but I did anyways. But I often think that even if I was healthy enough to have anymore, I don't think I would. Maybe when the twins were 5 and in school or something. But not any sooner then that...GL in your decision!

single mommy to identical twin girls (3/06) Non-traditional mama just : through life.
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#3 of 31 Old 07-24-2008, 03:54 PM
 
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Our twins were our first and last. I was 33 when they were born, and it felt like it took 5 years just to recover from the pregnancy. If I were 10 years younger I might have felt differently... but I doubt it DH and I wanted 2 children - it was just a bonus that I was so efficient!

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#4 of 31 Old 07-24-2008, 03:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks to you both!

angie7 - Best wishes with you health concerns!

nd_deadhead - that is also one of my concerns. I was 33 when mine were born and would be 35 (or more) if we have another. That does worry me...
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#5 of 31 Old 07-24-2008, 09:32 PM
 
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I'm 35 now and because of DH's sperm issues we had to to IVF and I don't want to be shoving any more needles in my hiney especially what with my age the success rate drops off.

If some miracle happens and his 5 sperm manage to do something useful I'd take more. Some days. Some days I think I would rather eat glass.

Mostly sane mother to twins.
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#6 of 31 Old 07-24-2008, 09:39 PM
 
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I got pregnant again 3 days after my twins' third birthday. It's been fabulous. I love getting to experience a singleton, and having three children really is SO much easier than having two! The little one diffuses the tension between his big brothers. The age difference is pretty perfect (3 years, 9 months). I don't think I'd have wanted them much closer together.

We're getting ready to try for number 4 (not my uterus this time) . . . I never could have stopped with just the twins!

Lex

ETA: I was 22 when my twins were born, so maybe that does make a difference.

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#7 of 31 Old 07-24-2008, 10:51 PM
 
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My twins are 2.5 and they were my first (and second). We had two embryos left over from that IVF cycle and we recently tried to have another but we were not successful. I'd love to have another but it is not in the cards for us.

Let them sleep in the middle, Let them be little
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#8 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 12:21 AM
 
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My ID twin boys were my first children. They were 13 months old when our singleton DD was conceived and 21 months when she arrived. The twins are now nearing six years old and my DD will be four in a month.

I was 18 when the boys were conceived, 19 when they were born. I was 20 when my daughter was conceived and 21 when she was born.

I had my surro son this past March at age 24, though that doesn't count so much being he's not mine, lol!

I wouldn't change a thing.
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#9 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 07:48 AM
 
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My boys were my first (and I was a single mama to boot!) and when I met my dh, we both talked about our desire for a large(r) family. We went on to have two more kids -- singletons, thank goodness.

My boys are 2y2m older than dd1 and I think that spacing is a LITTLE close. The boys were not very verbal and were still very very attached at that age, so it was a huge shock for all of us. I do not recall dd1's first few months very fondly : However, dd2 has really nice spacing, imo, she is 2.5y younger than dd1. So, when she was born I had two 4yo and a 2.5yo.

I definitely prefer spacing that is closer to 3y, but I think we're done now!

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#10 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 10:10 AM
 
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I definitely want more kiddos, but I don't know if it will ever happen. I was almost 34 when my twins were born, and because of the difficult pregnancy I had, and the difficulty "4th trimester" issues, I got my tubes tied off. I have always felt strongly that I want to adopt, though, so that is still in the back of my mind. I would probably even request twins, since I would at least know what I am getting into!

But any future children will not be grown by me.
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#11 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 11:09 AM
 
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My baby-having days are over now. My boys were born just a couple of weeks before I turned 22. They had just turned 4 when dd was born. The only thing that was not great was that I continued to work nights until she was about 6 mos old.
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#12 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 02:08 PM
 
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My twins are from IVF. We'd talked here and there hypothetically about having a third & wondering if we'd do IVF again. My girls were still nursing & I wouldn't do IVF until they'd weaned, so we weren't really thinking about it. I had a surprise pregnancy right after the girls turned 2.

I spent my whole pregnancy with Ian ambivalent. While I was very happy to be pregnant and glad he was a singleton, I wondered how I was going to handle it. One of my twins is really a handful. I felt completely overwhelmed by them some days, and still do.

Ian has been just a dream. He's a pretty mellow little guy, though, and if he'd been high needs, I might have different feelings about our situation. He's generally happy, loves to be worn, nurses well, is able to sleep on me out and about and is a snuggly little co-sleeper. I didn't co-sleep with my twins for very long and did not wear them nearly as much as I wear Ian, so it's been a nice experience for me to mother one. It's been easier for me to have one mellow infant plus two not mellow preschoolers than it was to have two infants.

But, if we'd just had twins I would have been happy with that, too. After two years of TTC and countless shots, ultrasounds and tearful moments wondering if I'd ever be blessed with children, they're a dream come true.

We do toss about the idea of a fourth, mostly because neither of us are willing to do any permanent birth control, but I don't think I could handle 4, really. DH works a lot and I'm 37! I think we're done. Maybe when the girls are in school, assuming we don't home school.

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
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#13 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 02:26 PM
 
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My daughters are also MZ and also 2.5, but we're not planning to have any more kids. I'm 38, we don't have more room in this house, and we probably can't afford another child without me working a heck of a lot more, which doesn't seem like a great idea combined with another kid.

Anyway, my family feels complete to me. Sometimes I think about a 3rd, but I mostly just want a normal pregnancy/nursing experience, and that's not a good reason to bring a life into this world, IMO.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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#14 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 02:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow - thanks for all of the interesting stories. It is great to read how everyone has reached their decisions.

One of my biggest worries is that a singleton would feel left out. Have any of you with a younger singleton had any issues with that?

Thanks for letting me be nosy
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#15 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 02:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OGirlieMama View Post
My daughters are also MZ and also 2.5, but we're not planning to have any more kids. I'm 38, we don't have more room in this house, and we probably can't afford another child without me working a heck of a lot more, which doesn't seem like a great idea combined with another kid.

Anyway, my family feels complete to me. Sometimes I think about a 3rd, but I mostly just want a normal pregnancy/nursing experience, and that's not a good reason to bring a life into this world, IMO.
These are many of our same concerns - house is too small (we live in tiny 2/1 right now), car too small, finances too small. My girls are just a little bit older than yours, they were preemies, and we EP'd for a long time too. So I am sure part of this is my desire to have a "normal" experience too. There are many good reasons for us to not have another, I guess I just don't have that feeling that we are complete!
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#16 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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my sons turned 4 last month aand we found out we are expecting # 3 the next day. i only recently started to feel like we were ready to expand our family. mostly because the boys will be starting preschool this year, and around the time the baby is 6 months old they'll be in full day kindergarten so i'll have plenty of time to devote to the new baby. the first 6 months promise to be interesting though. preschool is only 2 1/2 hours each afternoon and by the time the baby is 2 months old that will be ending so we'll have to look into some summer activities for the twins, i guess.

i'll be 35 when the new baby is born, we might have a 4th but we'll have to see how we handle 3 first
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#17 of 31 Old 07-25-2008, 04:51 PM
 
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I have a thing about 2 kids - it's replacement number for DH and I... thinking about Earth's carrying capacity here. I don't really want to be pregnant or give birth again, though a single baby would be a nice experience. anyway, i'm hoping we stay at 2

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#18 of 31 Old 07-26-2008, 01:46 AM
 
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I had number 3 when the twins were 17 months old and then number 4 when they were almost 4 years. Number three actually thinks he is should be treated as a triplet and refuses to be left out. Now they are older, I am like the close spacing of the older three because they are all VERY close. As far as the first few years, the spacing I had with number 4 was much better. They were all so much more independant!
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#19 of 31 Old 07-26-2008, 03:48 AM
 
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DH had the big V, so my twins are my first and last. I would love to have 2 more kids, but DH is very big on being able to give our children everything in terms of attention and education. Ideally I'd have another set of boy/girl twins but unless his little vas deferens reunite and my body decides to start ovulating, that's not gonna happen! We made the big V decision together, but I'd be lying if I say I wish he hadn't done it.

SAHM to twin kindergarteners

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#20 of 31 Old 07-26-2008, 08:20 PM
 
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My third son is 13 months younger than my MZ girls (whoops!) and my second set is 25 months younger than my middle son (BIG WHOOPS!) I definitely don't recommend having five kids in THREE years, but I'm glad we have our kiddos so close. This one will be 3 1/2 years younger than my second set. It's fun to watch them play together, but still somedays I think I'm going to lose it. And some days I really do!

I think you have to plan what works for you, but it sounds like you were just curious about the rest of us anyway.

Mama to Hannah & Hailey 1/5/02 C.J. 2/18/03 Anthony & Jamie 3/23/05 Chuck 10/9/08 42-week Sam 8/9/10 Mae 4/22/12
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#21 of 31 Old 07-27-2008, 09:13 AM
 
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My twins are boys, and my singles are girls, and I don't think the girls feel left out. Sometimes they all play together, sometimes not. I don't see one of my boys favoring dd1, or vice versa.

I think they all fight together equally

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#22 of 31 Old 07-29-2008, 06:16 PM
 
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I found out I was PG with a surprise baby on my boys' 3rd bday. They were 3 1/2 when she was born and it's been a great age separation. The boys were independent (mostly) when she was born and she's 2 1/2 now and does everything her brothers do.

A singleton after twins is soooo easy. Unless you have my dd, who is a firecracker. We wouldn't change a thing about her, but we often say she's more work than her twin brothers!
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#23 of 31 Old 07-31-2008, 06:36 PM
 
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I have two sets of twins and there is almost a 6 yr age difference between them. Our first set are fraternal boys (who are 15 yrs. old) and "I" just wanted to try for a girl....LOL! I got my wish and also got another boy in the deal! LOL! Our younger set are 9 years old.

My neice has a 5 yr old daughter, a 3 yr old daughter and 1 yr old twin fraternal boys!
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#24 of 31 Old 08-01-2008, 07:05 PM
 
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I had my twins when I was 35 yo. They are almost 5 yo now. If I was younger, I might think about ONE more (I think I idealize the concept of having one baby at a time).

But, my kids were and are so incredibly high needs and challenging I don't think I could do a third now at my age with our resources. They didn't sleep through the night till they were 3 yo and doing that again might actually be the end of me.

So - no more kids.
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#25 of 31 Old 08-03-2008, 04:17 PM
 
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My twin boys were 6.5 when dd was born.

+ (13 years together)= (9), (9), (2) and
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#26 of 31 Old 08-04-2008, 04:41 PM
 
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My twins are 28 months and we will start trying again once they are potty trained and in big beds.....we want 2 or 3 more.......I want twins again, but my husband is praying for them one by one now.......men are funny, I am the SAHM and think twins are easy and he thinks they are hard and he doesn't even have to watch them very often.......
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#27 of 31 Old 08-04-2008, 08:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chaimom View Post
I found out I was PG with a surprise baby on my boys' 3rd bday. They were 3 1/2 when she was born and it's been a great age separation. The boys were independent (mostly) when she was born and she's 2 1/2 now and does everything her brothers do.

A singleton after twins is soooo easy. Unless you have my dd, who is a firecracker. We wouldn't change a thing about her, but we often say she's more work than her twin brothers!
this is what we are afraid of!! our boys will be 3 when the singleton arrives, and i admit, im a bit nervous, though i do believe it HAS to be easier to have one, especially after having the 2 we had first! they were, and are, quite the "handful" as so many strangers are known to say.

~helen~ mama to 5 yo twins jonas and micah and my 2 yo baby boy eli
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#28 of 31 Old 08-04-2008, 09:17 PM
 
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My youngest is nearly 3 years younger than my twins- and she has been a dream child, and such a joy. I got to enjoy her babyhood, while my high needs preemies first year is sadly kind of a blur. I do feel she's a bit left out of their play, but she's young still.
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#29 of 31 Old 08-09-2008, 11:49 AM
 
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Our twins were our first children. We had a third when they were not quite 13 months old. Our fourth was born when our twins had just turned 5 and our third had just turned 4.

Now, our twins are almost 7, our third is almost 6, and our fourth is 20 months. We are done.
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#30 of 31 Old 08-11-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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Our twins just turned 2, they will be just over 2.5 when this singleton is born. We knew we wanted more kids although if for some reason that couldn't have happened I think I would have been content with the twins (especially b/c they are b/g). I wish we had waited just a tad longer to conceive, three yrs. apart was my ideal. We will be done for a while after this baby since our house will be quite full and we don't plan on moving for a few yrs. But I think we will probably have more, probably one more. Of course I worry about conceiving twins again but if we waited long enough after the third I would be ok with another set. We'll see..... we're not big on planning!

SAHM to my surprise bigeyes.gif twins M&W (7/06) twins.gif and my vbac.gif darling W (1/09) hearts.gif Expecting another little bean this summer pos.gif
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