Large family forum? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 26 Old 07-30-2008, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
carycaj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: SoCal born & grown, in Austin now
Posts: 101
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Some of us MoM have larger families and I am looking for a good forum.....for insight, tips, parenting ideas, help w/ discipline etc. With each new baby, my parenting has HAD to change and w/ the addition of 2 babies at once, instead of scrambling, I would like to be prepared and already have some ideas in my head.

Any suggestions?

TIA,
Nicole

DS-10, DS-8, DS-5 and B/G twins- born 5/08 all lovingly born
carycaj is offline  
#2 of 26 Old 07-30-2008, 05:49 PM
 
LoisLane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Once again, on the road
Posts: 735
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There's a forum in Parenting Issues with a Moms of Many monthly thread (I read it even though I 'only' have three kids -- lots of good ideas!)

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=924167
LoisLane is offline  
#3 of 26 Old 07-30-2008, 07:02 PM
 
HopesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 702
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just want to say how cool that your twins don't have to share a birthday!!
HopesMom is offline  
#4 of 26 Old 07-31-2008, 06:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
carycaj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: SoCal born & grown, in Austin now
Posts: 101
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
I just want to say how cool that your twins don't have to share a birthday!!
I know!!

When my water broke at almost 7:30 PM, I emailed a good friend and that was her first response....."What if one is born before midnight and the other one after?!" And that is exactly what happened.....ds was out at 11:40 and dd at 12:20

DS-10, DS-8, DS-5 and B/G twins- born 5/08 all lovingly born
carycaj is offline  
#5 of 26 Old 08-01-2008, 03:20 PM
 
AngelBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brighton, MN
Posts: 20,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
:

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

AngelBee is offline  
#6 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 03:56 PM
 
Justmee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the kitchen
Posts: 3,560
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it's been mentioned before and the general answer is start a thread and see when it gets huge / unweildy & then we will consider it. I"ve joined the Moms of Many at times, but it's hardly ever more than a few pages long even at the end of the month so I doubt it will happen I do agree it would be a great idea though.

Mom to:

Three big girls  twins.gif (10) + joy.gif (almost 9!); 

One little boy ROTFLMAO.gif(6) and a full on toddler diaper.gif  (8/12) born with TAPVR heartbeat.gif (repaired at 6 days old).

Justmee is offline  
#7 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 08:33 PM
 
liz-hippymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in the heart of texas!
Posts: 1,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
i asked and was told it wasnt in the plans. i am on the momys boards (moms of many young siblings) . they are great .

mdcblog5.gif   Liz mama to DS 10, DSS 9, DD 6, DS 3, DD 2 , Aquila- dec 19th 2009 died at my homebirth, and....welcome Willow born 9-16-10 (9 weeks early)  nut.gif
liz-hippymom is offline  
#8 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 05:59 PM
 
mamaof5boys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 520
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Personally I would love a thread for large families with multiples!! I feel that in our family adding twins has been a very different experience than if we would've had just one baby. We are fortunate to have older boys who are a huge help with the LOs.

I'm just curious how other families do it with lots of kiddos!! Having enough energy, time, and money (our grocery bill is outrageous!!!) Hope others are interested as well!!
mamaof5boys is offline  
#9 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 06:38 PM
 
HopesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 702
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof5boys View Post
Personally I would love a thread for large families with multiples!! I feel that in our family adding twins has been a very different experience than if we would've had just one baby.

I'm just curious how other families do it with lots of kiddos!! Having enough energy, time, and money (our grocery bill is outrageous!!!) Hope others are interested as well!!
:
HopesMom is offline  
#10 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 06:53 PM
 
~bookcase~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the middle of sweet chaos.
Posts: 1,232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep, grocery bill at checkout:

joy.gifspread a lot of love joy.gif

~bookcase~ is offline  
#11 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 06:54 PM
 
amis2girls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: who knows :)
Posts: 1,124
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by liz-hippymom View Post
i asked and was told it wasnt in the plans. i am on the momys boards (moms of many young siblings) . they are great .
Thanks!

mom of 3 , homeschooling the oldest with google and the internet
amis2girls is offline  
#12 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 08:48 PM
 
mamaof5boys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 520
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by liz-hippymom View Post
i asked and was told it wasnt in the plans. i am on the momys boards (moms of many young siblings) . they are great .
Sorry to be so ignorant... What does this mean?? Are we able to continue this thread for large families with multiples on this forum? Thanks!!
mamaof5boys is offline  
#13 of 26 Old 08-04-2008, 07:03 AM
 
~bookcase~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the middle of sweet chaos.
Posts: 1,232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think so, and if gets looong it can be restarted once a month maybe?

Does anyone have objections? Does it need to be okayed?
I don't know on those points.

joy.gifspread a lot of love joy.gif

~bookcase~ is offline  
#14 of 26 Old 08-04-2008, 01:58 PM
 
liz-hippymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in the heart of texas!
Posts: 1,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
no its allowed to talk about it, but they wont be opening up a large family forum

mdcblog5.gif   Liz mama to DS 10, DSS 9, DD 6, DS 3, DD 2 , Aquila- dec 19th 2009 died at my homebirth, and....welcome Willow born 9-16-10 (9 weeks early)  nut.gif
liz-hippymom is offline  
#15 of 26 Old 08-04-2008, 03:21 PM
 
~bookcase~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the middle of sweet chaos.
Posts: 1,232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
but we can continue this thread here for mothers who have larger sized families with a twin element, right? it just hangs in amongst the multiples board generally instead of having it's own special place?!

i was thinking a bonus of having twins later on in the family means we get to recycle more!!! i've kept a few bits of boys and girls stuff that i got down from the attic for this birth and hopefully i get to use all of them. how fun is that
:

not so handy if you have 5 boys and then have girl twins though, or vice versa, although i've been known to put a favourite outfit on a child regardless of what sex they turned out ,))

joy.gifspread a lot of love joy.gif

~bookcase~ is offline  
#16 of 26 Old 08-04-2008, 03:47 PM
 
phathui5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,479
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I'm on the monthly thread and I'd think that at least at this point, it doesn't get enough action for the mods to grant it forum status.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
phathui5 is offline  
#17 of 26 Old 08-04-2008, 08:36 PM
 
HopesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 702
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by shukr View Post

i was thinking a bonus of having twins later on in the family means we get to recycle more!!! i've kept a few bits of boys and girls stuff that i got down from the attic for this birth and hopefully i get to use all of them. how fun is that
:
Definitely. One of the joys of our twins (b/g) has been reusing some of my favorite clothes from my older LOs. It was a big deal for the older kiddos too to see clothes on the babies that they wore.

:
HopesMom is offline  
#18 of 26 Old 08-11-2008, 11:01 AM
 
HopesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 702
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Bumping this up b/c I truly need some insight from other MoMs.

I feel like I spend my day putting out fires--not parenting. My twins are 13 months and still nursing non stop and I just feel like I barely manage to care for them, and it leaves almost no time for my older two. Yes, I manage to care for them (food, clothes, I get them to their activities) but I don't feel like I have the time/energy/focus to actually PARENT them. Does that make any sense? Any sense at all?
My lack of time for them is showing in their behavior too, which is why I spend what seems like every moment putting out fires. What am I doing wrong?

I just never feel like I am able to catch up and feel sane and I miss spending quality time with my two older kiddos.

No one in my life seems to get how frustrated I feel.
HopesMom is offline  
#19 of 26 Old 08-11-2008, 12:12 PM
 
AngelBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brighton, MN
Posts: 20,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
I'm on the monthly thread and I'd think that at least at this point, it doesn't get enough action for the mods to grant it forum status.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

AngelBee is offline  
#20 of 26 Old 08-11-2008, 12:47 PM
 
~bookcase~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the middle of sweet chaos.
Posts: 1,232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by HopesMom View Post
No one in my life seems to get how frustrated I feel.
HUGS mama - I'm not there with juggling twins yet, ( just laughing out loud slightly hysterically every time I think of adding it to the mix!!!), but I can see totally where you are coming from.

One consolation for me is that my youngest has been 'neglected' but seems a much, much more rounded character than her other siblings; we'll see how that goes after birth, but I guess she never felt like the world revolved around her like the older ones did, and so her expectations of life are different; more mellow and generally more sociable. The eldest who had a little bit of one to one time has like a HUGE chip on his shoulder that he is sooo hard done by!!!

Your little ones will hopefully never get that because they get something from their siblings that the older ones never had etc etc

"My lack of time for them is showing in their behavior too, which is why I spend what seems like every moment putting out fires. What am I doing wrong?"

Hmm, what I wrote above doesn't necessarily take that into account. lol. but it's something to think about in terms of longterm balancing out .... we didn't pick their birth order, you know, there is wisdom in it somewhere :


joy.gifspread a lot of love joy.gif

~bookcase~ is offline  
#21 of 26 Old 08-11-2008, 02:09 PM
 
mamajody's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: New Britain, CT
Posts: 1,704
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by HopesMom View Post
Bumping this up b/c I truly need some insight from other MoMs.

I feel like I spend my day putting out fires--not parenting.

Yes, I manage to care for them (food, clothes, I get them to their activities) but I don't feel like I have the time/energy/focus to actually PARENT them.

Does that make any sense? Any sense at all?

My lack of time for them is showing in their behavior too, which is why I spend what seems like every moment putting out fires. What am I doing wrong?

I just never feel like I am able to catch up and feel sane and I miss spending quality time with my two older kiddos.

No one in my life seems to get how frustrated I feel.
Yes this makes sense! I often feel like I am in the same boat. It is so frustrating when you feel like you can't connect with the kids for any length of time. DD is 5 and the twins are 22 months, and today has been a particularly nasty behavior day so far. Being 18 weeks pg really isn't helping the situation. I feel driven to keep up with chores lately because my DH just can't pick up my slack and I am tired of the filth. None of my kids are helpful with most chore stuff, so they just pick at each other while I sweep, make meals, ect.. At the moment they are eating lunch and then ***hopefully*** they will nap, 'cause MAN do I need one. adding number 4 seems like more than I can handle today.

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
mamajody is offline  
#22 of 26 Old 08-12-2008, 01:18 PM
 
mamaof5boys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 520
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh Dear Mamas!!

I've been meaning to reply since the past two posts but needless to say I am swamped!!! Yikes! I wish I could give you all a hug- and some free babysitting!!!

I spent every waking minute last week not even cleaning- just picking up from my 5 tornadoes (okay, 6 with my DH!!) I took one day "off" and everything was back to a huge destructive state!! Why even bother???

I thought of you all yesterday as I was trying to help my three older kids with homework, while I was holding one twin with the other standing at my feet crying. I totally understand the challenges you all have mentioned!! I do feel so sad that I don't get to do more with the older kids.

I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way- I feel like I have to be very careful who and how much I vent to about being so overwhelmed because having 5 kids was MY choice. I LOVE having a large family, but I think most people feel that we brought this on ourselves and that we shouldn't have had so many kids if we couldn't handle it! Do you ever get those vibes? It's probably just my own inner voice and not really an issue.

mamajody- I love to have my house picked up to!! That's the thing that drives me crazy. I have let it go tons- someday I won't have piles everywhere!! I hope you are taking it easy being pregnant. Take advantage of this time and let people wait on you!!!

HopesMom- sorry I don't have any great advice for you! I know where you're at and it's very tough. All I can say is that it does get easier over time. I try really hard to take care of myself emotionally- getting time to myself, etc..... And as I'm typing I have a LO howling at my feet!!! Ugh!Can I try to PM you later???
mamaof5boys is offline  
#23 of 26 Old 08-12-2008, 02:54 PM
 
HopesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 702
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof5boys View Post

I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way- I feel like I have to be very careful who and how much I vent to about being so overwhelmed because having 5 kids was MY choice. I LOVE having a large family, but I think most people feel that we brought this on ourselves and that we shouldn't have had so many kids if we couldn't handle it! Do you ever get those vibes? It's probably just my own inner voice and not really an issue.

...Can I try to PM you later???
(of course you can PM me)

I also feel like I shouldn't be complaining about our situation. It is definitely my own internal voice although I often suspect its what everyone else is thinking too.
HopesMom is offline  
#24 of 26 Old 08-14-2008, 09:18 PM
 
mamajody's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: New Britain, CT
Posts: 1,704
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You know what really gets me?? While I didn't really choose to have a "big" family, I am rather glad that I am having another baby. We found out today that it is a girl, and my DD is just thrilled to have a sister to pal around with. But what burns me up is when I get comments like, "Wow! FOUR KIDS?!?!?!" Yes you nitwit, I can count as well as you can.: Then they will notice the boys are really similar and ask how far apart they are. When I explain they are in fact twins you should just hear the ridiculous relief in their voices. As if somehow it lessens my crimes against nature that I have only had 3 pregnancies rather than the obscene amount of 4 pregnancies. Do they think the twins are only one person, that I only count them once or something?

Mama to 4 darlings. A ('03), O and K ('06), A ('09), and wife to M since 2002.
mamajody is offline  
#25 of 26 Old 08-15-2008, 12:33 AM
 
Novella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Rural Canada - peaceful prairie
Posts: 1,181
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajody View Post
But what burns me up is when I get comments like, "Wow! FOUR KIDS?!?!?!" Yes you nitwit, I can count as well as you can.: Then they will notice the boys are really similar and ask how far apart they are. When I explain they are in fact twins you should just hear the ridiculous relief in their voices. As if somehow it lessens my crimes against nature that I have only had 3 pregnancies rather than the obscene amount of 4 pregnancies.
YES!! : This is me!!

With our twins being our youngest, it's always this conspiratorial "Boy, I bet that was a surprise!", certain that I had wanted only four kids. It sounds so futile to say, "No really! I always wanted to have 5 kids. . . no, really!"

Six kids, sixth sense, six degrees of separation. . . from sanity!
Not sure that I'm crunchy, but definitely a "tough chew".
Novella is offline  
#26 of 26 Old 08-15-2008, 05:13 AM
 
~bookcase~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the middle of sweet chaos.
Posts: 1,232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajody View Post
As if somehow it lessens my crimes against nature that I have only had 3 pregnancies rather than the obscene amount of 4 pregnancies. Do they think the twins are only one person, that I only count them once or something?
That's so funny!!! I have a friend who is on number 8, (all singletons and it does make me go WOW she did 8 pregnancies!!! but then I'm feeling WOW I'm doing twins atm, so it's different 'cool mama' factors iykwim ), and others who have 4/5 but expect to have more at some point so I try to talk to them about any larger family issues/ grumbles I'm having - less judgement that I dug my own grave, you know.

I tease all the larger families now that they'll have multiples next because chances are higher with more children. Hehe. My 8 children family friend said I'm just trying to catch up with her quicker

joy.gifspread a lot of love joy.gif

~bookcase~ is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off