Hello, I'm Tammy - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-19-2008, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello Everyone - My name is Tammy and I live in mid-sized city in Southern Ontario (Canada). I have never participated in an online forum before, but after finding out we are expecting twins I knew I would need to somehow network with others (I hardly know a single person with twins!). A little bit about me:
- I'm 34 years old and have been married to my DH for 11 years (he is 51...and I still love him despite the fact that he loves Supertramp); he is a teacher so works great hours and spends the entire summer with the kids
- We have 2 spirited daughters who are 3 and 6
- I work full time outside the home at the Director level in a hospital that is about a 30 minute drive from my home...I love my job.
- We made the big decision to go from two children to three and were *shocked* to find out at 12 weeks that we were expecting #3 and #4
- My first daughter was born in hospital (planned home, but she didn't co-operate....which is SO like her!), but my second was born at home with the loving guidance of two awesome midwives (she was 9 lbs. 14 oz)
- I breastfed both my daughters for over 2 years...no forumula, no bottles
- we are expecting DI-DI twins (both girls) around January 24/09
- I love to cook but have been extremely sick with this pregnancy (just like my others...9 months long...ugh) so not much time is spent in the kitchen.
- I do like to scrapbook, but I'm having a little too much scrapbook-guilt these days to even open my books...
- I have an extreme love of shoes, and while I do own a pair of birkenstocks, I also love high heeled pumps in red patent leather!

So, I have no idea how this all works (hey, I'm over the age of 30...I don't even know how to text message!), but I'm willing to give it a try (and I've been lurking since the day we found out about the twins).

Looking forward to participating a little more once these girls arrive!

Cheers,
Tammy

Tammy, Canadian Mama to 4 girls May-02...March-05 and...identical twin girls Jan-09
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Old 09-20-2008, 12:44 AM
 
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Hey Tammy!!! I'm Elizabeth from Portland, OR. I can tell we're going to get along great as I only recently learned how to text message. (and have yet to do anything with the MP3 player I've been given, though I ask the occassional question about it to friends.... ) This was my first online forum, and I still don't know what all the abbreviations mean. I think DH means "dear husband", but I'm not quite sure. It took me forever to figure out that "lol" meant laughing out loud.
Anyways, I really have enjoyed this board, it has helped me so much! I thought we were having one baby as well (as did most here), so the twin thing really rocked our world. Our first was a planned HB, and our first kids sound similar-- she wasn't on board for a HB. But, we were able to have the twins at home, and it was the sweetest birth, just absolutely amazing. We have di/di twins as well. They are now five months along.
Welcome to you, and please feel free to ask about anything and everything here. Really lovely mamas on this board!
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Old 09-20-2008, 02:00 AM
 
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Southern Ontario mom as well with twin girls age 26 months. I was 37 when my girls were born and I also have a 15 year old. Pregnancy doesn't suit me either, planned on a natural birth in hosp as I am high risk in pregnancy but my dominant twin to this day turned overnight when in for induction and a bad bit of advice got me a cesarean. I'm actually speaking out about that experience this weekend in London, hoping to encourage other moms to take back their power as mothers.

PM me is you would like any advice etc. It's been tough but easier than the imagination can create, that's for sure!

~Patricia~, wife to D, mom to V:, mummy to S/C : , ::. Learning how to be a GREAT mom to my autistic twins and loving it!
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Old 09-20-2008, 08:12 PM
 
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Welcome and congratulations!

SAHM to twin kindergarteners

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Old 09-20-2008, 11:05 PM
 
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welcome and congratulations! ::
i, too, have yet to experience the text message.
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Old 09-21-2008, 07:40 AM
 
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I was born in Ontario but my parents came back to the UK by the time I was 5 years old. I have citizenship though and I visited again when I was 16. Beautiful, beautiful place.

Am now UK based.

I'm almost 30, and a technophobe too.

What does NAK mean !?! that's one that has me stymied.
Is there a page anywhere on mothering that gives explanations?

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Old 09-21-2008, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the warm welcomes! I have no idea what NAK means, though I have been able to load my MP3 player...I actually do maintain my own family website which stretches my technical skills, but is fun in a weird way.

Cheers,
Tammy

Tammy, Canadian Mama to 4 girls May-02...March-05 and...identical twin girls Jan-09
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Old 09-21-2008, 06:22 PM
 
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Welcome! NAK means "nursing at keyboard" which I know because I'm doing it right now! Similar story here - 34 years old, central ON resident, almost 6 year old, 3 year old and went for #3. Our twins are 3 months now. We're done . This forum was great throughout my pregnancy and continues to be now.

Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)

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Old 09-22-2008, 07:23 PM
 
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Hi Tammy! My twins are numbers three and four too - we were also expecting just number three and got a big surprise. Welcome to the board!
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Old 09-23-2008, 02:08 AM
 
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Hi Tammy! We wanted #3 and got a #3 & #4 special as well, also discovered at 12 weeks.

What are you thinking of doing for the twin birth? Home with midwife? Or?

Missionary, birth-worker, midwifery student
Mama to love.gif DD (9yr), DS luxlove.gif (3yr), & 2twins.gif UC twin DDs (5yr)

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Old 09-23-2008, 05:14 AM
 
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Welcome! NAK means "nursing at keyboard"
THANK YOU!!!

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Old 09-23-2008, 10:45 AM
 
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Hi Tammy! My twins were SURPRISE #5 and #6 and I'm loving every single second of it! Welcome!
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Old 09-23-2008, 11:45 AM
 
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Hi Tammy, congratulations on your twin pregnancy, are you going to have them at home too?
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:19 PM
 
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Welcome, Tammy!

For those new to the online abbreviations, here's an acronym decoder page that on MDC. I reference this quite a bit

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=522590

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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Old 09-23-2008, 03:40 PM
 
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Kara, thanks for the decoder page!!!!!
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Old 09-23-2008, 05:16 PM
 
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Now we all have to try more out

LOL. I've never seen sooo many. Thanks Kara.

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Old 09-23-2008, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Tammy, congratulations on your twin pregnancy, are you going to have them at home too?
...sigh...I wish. I was under the care of our only midwifery group in town but they do not deliver twins at home (not even in hospital) in this community (and pretty much not in any community in Ontario as I understand it). So, my care was transfered to an OB, who I saw for the first time today. It didn't go well, and he's supposed to be the most progressive guy in town! So, here's the deal - birth has to be in the OR (on an old stainless steel OR table)...no siblings present. They insist on an epidural being in place...he tells me this is consistent with the Society of Obstetrics & Gynecology of Canada (SOGC) Guidelines...all "just in case" they need to do a breech extraction...and to top things all off they will NOT let anyone go past 38 weeks wiht twins.The midwives can be present at the birth for support and to assume responsibility for the babes if all is "well".

I feel dejected...I feel like I just want to give up on my dream of a somewhat natural birth for these babies. I'm sad that my two older girls will not witness this wonderful moment. I'm not even sure what to do at this point. There is the opportunity to have a consult with a larger centre about an hour down the road where apparently they are more lax about the epidural rule, but I don't think the midwives would be able to attend the birth at that hospital as they don't have privileges there.

If anyone out there has encountered something similar, particularly if you live in Ontario or Canada (since our health system is a little different from those of you in the USA) I would love to hear from you...I just feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me...

Tammy, Canadian Mama to 4 girls May-02...March-05 and...identical twin girls Jan-09
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Old 09-23-2008, 06:40 PM
 
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Oh My!!!

Hang in there - something will come up if you search around.

Your body. Your babies.

This is the fun bit of having multiples, right we get to build ourselves some BIGGER characters through the pregnancy so we can take on the challenges ever afterwards, God willing

Do you have independent midwives in Canada, or could you afford to ship one in from somewhere for an 'oops - it was too quick at home' type scenario?

xxx

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Old 09-23-2008, 06:45 PM
 
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okay, first of all, big hug
second, deep breath!

Now, I don't know about the Canadian system or your feelings 'bunking' the system, particularly since you work in a hospital, but here are some thoughts...

Is there any negotiating with this OB? For instance, why does the birth have to be in the OR? Do they have any L&D rooms close enough to the OR 'in case of emergency'?

An epidural 'just in case' of breech extraction seems mighty preventative to me - have you actually read the guidelines the OB is quoting (to be sure he is not misrepresenting them/taking the most cautious approach)? In any event, I could understand that suggestion in case of emergency C-section, not a breech extraction. I had a breech extraction without any pain relief (as have other mamas on this board), and it was definitely bearable. However, the need for breech extraction (limited) is a whole 'nother conversation The only 'good' I can find in this part of the OB's talk is that at least he'll attend a breech birth.

And the not 'letting' anyone go past 38 weeks is, IMO, silly. Some other ladies around here can likely provide you with links to studies that suggest that inducing a healthy twin pregnancy is not necessarily beneficial or necessary. There are many of us who have gone past 38 weeks. I carried my mono/di twins to 42 weeks, and they weighed 6.15 and 7.3 when they were born - imagine how little they would have been had I agreed to to induce prior to 38 weeks!

Do you have any options as far as privately practicing renegade midwives who would attend your birth at home? I understand that would mean paying out of pocket, but it might be worth it if you can swing it. Then, you could always see this OB for any monitoring and not mention HB plans... and then not show up for your pre-38 week induction... just thinking here that perhaps there are options for a different birth... you might try posting in your 'tribal' area here on MDC and asking if anyone has any advice.

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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Old 09-23-2008, 06:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Midwives are regulated in my province (Ontario) by the College of Midwives of Ontario - essentially there is only one kind - A Registered Midwife (unlike in the USA I think where you have different kinds)...they are covered under our universal health care system (i.e. we don't pay). Most have privileges at their local hospital(s). I have never heard of anyone "shipping" someone in...sounds like an expensive option as it would have to be from the US (and with the thought of having 3 children in day care a year from now I'm a little overwhelmed on the budget side of things!).

Sheesh, if only I lived in Norway...

Tammy, Canadian Mama to 4 girls May-02...March-05 and...identical twin girls Jan-09
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Old 09-23-2008, 07:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is there any negotiating with this OB? For instance, why does the birth have to be in the OR? Do they have any L&D rooms close enough to the OR 'in case of emergency'? .
Unfortunately the birthing unit is 4 floors up (and will be under construction during the time I'm due!) and so anyone requiring a c-section has to travel a looong way down to get to the OR...this is the rationale for having the birth in the OR, which to some degree I understand...when I asked why not bring a birthing bed down at least he said it won't fit through the door!!

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An epidural 'just in case' of breech extraction seems mighty preventative to me - have you actually read the guidelines the OB is quoting (to be sure he is not misrepresenting them/taking the most cautious approach)? In any event, I could understand that suggestion in case of emergency C-section, not a breech extraction. I had a breech extraction without any pain relief (as have other mamas on this board), and it was definitely bearable. However, the need for breech extraction (limited) is a whole 'nother conversation The only 'good' I can find in this part of the OB's talk is that at least he'll attend a breech birth..
I had the guidelines in hand (I was prepared!)...it says specifically that "epidural anesthesia is advantageous"...I quoted it for him, trying my best not to be the confrontational patient (that's really not my style). He pretty much just said that you never know what will happen and he feels it is best practice to "be prepared". I actually asked about the possibility of having the epidural catheter inserted, but just not having the medication run in it...thought that might be a nice compromise...no go, apparently he said it takes 20 minutes to "take effect" (hmmm, really?) and by then the cervix could have "closed up" making the breech extraction more difficult.

He was actually really positive about the breech thing...and did mention that the majority of twins he "delivers" are done vaginally and not via c-section (and he has never done the Baby A vag Baby B c-section thing). Of course, it's not a huge community so he only does about 10-12 sets/year.

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And the not 'letting' anyone go past 38 weeks is, IMO, silly. Some other ladies around here can likely provide you with links to studies that suggest that inducing a healthy twin pregnancy is not necessarily beneficial or necessary. There are many of us who have gone past 38 weeks. I carried my mono/di twins to 42 weeks, and they weighed 6.15 and 7.3 when they were born - imagine how little they would have been had I agreed to to induce prior to 38 weeks! .
I'm thinking this might be where I go AMA (against medical advice in our field) and just ask for additional monitoring to ensure everyone is doing okay...more like one of those bridges I'll cross if/when we get there.

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Do you have any options as far as privately practicing renegade midwives who would attend your birth at home? I understand that would mean paying out of pocket, but it might be worth it if you can swing it. Then, you could always see this OB for any monitoring and not mention HB plans... and then not show up for your pre-38 week induction... just thinking here that perhaps there are options for a different birth... you might try posting in your 'tribal' area here on MDC and asking if anyone has any advice.
Great suggestion! I've posted in the Canada forum to see if anyone has had a hb with twins.

Boy, I sure am long winded today. Thanks for the words of wisdom...I am at least breathing now ...and super glad my DH is cooking supper while I sit at the computer...

Tammy, Canadian Mama to 4 girls May-02...March-05 and...identical twin girls Jan-09
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Old 09-23-2008, 07:54 PM
 
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Unfortunately the birthing unit is 4 floors up (and will be under construction during the time I'm due!) and so anyone requiring a c-section has to travel a looong way down to get to the OR...this is the rationale for having the birth in the OR, which to some degree I understand...when I asked why not bring a birthing bed down at least he said it won't fit through the door!!
Hmmm... okay, I get it... but wondering if you get to at least labor in a birthing room until Baby A is ready to crown? I bet it could make a difference as far as feeling rushed and under pressure. Not sure how it is in Canada, but in some OR twin deliveries here in the US it can be you + 20 of your new best friends, impatiently waiting for you to deliver your babies and rush them off in case of a medical emergency

Quote:
I had the guidelines in hand (I was prepared!)...it says specifically that "epidural anesthesia is advantageous"...I quoted it for him, trying my best not to be the confrontational patient (that's really not my style).
Go you! I agree that confrontational probably isn't a great way to start off with a new OB, and it looks like you are doing a wonderful job advocating your rights and choices as an informed patient/client/mother.

Quote:
I actually asked about the possibility of having the epidural catheter inserted, but just not having the medication run in it...thought that might be a nice compromise...no go, apparently he said it takes 20 minutes to "take effect" (hmmm, really?) and by then the cervix could have "closed up" making the breech extraction more difficult.
It's wonderful that this OB has a lot of twin experience, including breech birth. What he said about the catheter placement and closing up of the cervix, however, seem grossly misinformed. : Maybe you can steer this one in your direction in the future...

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and super glad my DH is cooking supper while I sit at the computer...
You are such a lucky woman! Give your DH a big hug!

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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Old 09-24-2008, 02:25 AM
 
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I just recently gave birth to twins in BC - had them in the hospital with an OB but they gave me the epidural choice as it is only recommended but not forced. However, I did have to deliver in the operating room, only for the fact that they needed the space - my beauties ended up in the NICU for a bit of time as they were delivered at 35 weeks, so the added space and equipment was good and well used in the end. I was able to labour in my own labour and delivery room, and then whisked away right when I was ready to push - something that could be done at my hospital as the maternity ward has its own operating room, making the transfer only mere seconds really! The only thing that I hated was that only my husband was able to be in the delivery with me. Other than that, a great Canadian vaginal twin delivery in the hospital. Hope the same goes for you.
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Old 09-24-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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I know someone in Ontario who went through something similar. I'll see if I can track her down and get her to contact you.

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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Old 09-24-2008, 04:43 PM
 
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How close to the US border are you? Wonder if any US midwives pop across?
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Old 09-24-2008, 07:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know someone in Ontario who went through something similar. I'll see if I can track her down and get her to contact you.
Thanks so much! She contacted me today...it is so nice to have all this support to draw on...I can't tell you what it means to me.

Tammy, Canadian Mama to 4 girls May-02...March-05 and...identical twin girls Jan-09
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Old 09-24-2008, 07:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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How close to the US border are you? Wonder if any US midwives pop across?
I'm at least a 4-5 hour drive from NY state (I think...I don't travel much!). Something to think about though!

Tammy, Canadian Mama to 4 girls May-02...March-05 and...identical twin girls Jan-09
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Old 09-25-2008, 01:45 PM
 
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...sigh...I wish. I was under the care of our only midwifery group in town but they do not deliver twins at home (not even in hospital) in this community (and pretty much not in any community in Ontario as I understand it). So, my care was transfered to an OB, who I saw for the first time today. It didn't go well, and he's supposed to be the most progressive guy in town! So, here's the deal - birth has to be in the OR (on an old stainless steel OR table)...no siblings present. They insist on an epidural being in place...he tells me this is consistent with the Society of Obstetrics & Gynecology of Canada (SOGC) Guidelines...all "just in case" they need to do a breech extraction...and to top things all off they will NOT let anyone go past 38 weeks wiht twins.The midwives can be present at the birth for support and to assume responsibility for the babes if all is "well".

I feel dejected...I feel like I just want to give up on my dream of a somewhat natural birth for these babies. I'm sad that my two older girls will not witness this wonderful moment. I'm not even sure what to do at this point. There is the opportunity to have a consult with a larger centre about an hour down the road where apparently they are more lax about the epidural rule, but I don't think the midwives would be able to attend the birth at that hospital as they don't have privileges there.

If anyone out there has encountered something similar, particularly if you live in Ontario or Canada (since our health system is a little different from those of you in the USA) I would love to hear from you...I just feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me...
I sure hope you see this cuz I live not far from you AND I was fed the same bloody BS(pardon the language), I've been advocating to everyone ever since my horrendous cesarean that it was totally unnecessary! I have a teen that gestated to 42 1/2 weeks so when I was told that my "twins" would HAVE to be delivered by 38 weeks b/c of premature aging of the placenta in multiples!!...............it had been 13 years since I'd had children, the rules had changed, more info available, blahblah, I thought I could trust my OB. BUT I did tell him that if he wanted my girls out early that I'd have to be induced, I make big babies and they stay in late, period! He countered everything I said with the fact that these were multiples, different set of rules. I was also very sick during my pregnancy, I gained a lot of weight in the gut, so sadly by 36 weeks I could no longer eat, drink or sleep, let alone walk(my legs were buckling from the weight). How the **** is it that Angelina Jolie is allowed to be on bed rest in hospital for 2 weeks before her twins are born(the same day as mine, 2 years apart) and I couldn't be? is it always about the almighty dollar??? Before I had time to process what was going on during my last OB appt, I was in for an induction that turned bad, my twin A turned on her side overnight and I wound up having a cesarean. The only decent thing about it was that they were strong at birth, no time in NICU, and 6 lbs each. But they were born too soon, that simple and it's taken my almost 2 years to heal from the surgery. To intervene with the natural scheme of things is just as bad if not much worse than multiples going over 38 weeks.

I urge you to stand up for your rights, find another OB if you must but women have been birthing multiples since the beginning of time, when did the medical community decide that it was such a big deal, NOT COOL! and me and my baby girls suffer for it!

~Patricia~, wife to D, mom to V:, mummy to S/C : , ::. Learning how to be a GREAT mom to my autistic twins and loving it!
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