A ginger rant!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 09-27-2008, 05:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is almost off topic, EXCEPT, apparently it is even more heinous of me to be potentially bearing TWO ginger babies at the same time than just a potential ginger singleton.

Anyone who is giggling better stop right now

I'm gobsmacked people have the audacity to state things such as 'let's hope it's not ginger twins'. Grrrr. I know in some cultures it's considered acceptable to hope for fair skinned babies as more desirable, , but I'm getting people of all colours and backgrounds, even my husband's family, ( he's the one who provides evidence of the ginger gene), chuckling that I might be having ginger twins.

Eugh. The attitude is driving me crazy now

Btw, sorry if anyone is offended by the use 'ginger' as opposed to 'red' hair.

Of my four children so far, they've ended up brown, brown, blonde, blonde - and all but one had a fairly gingerish stage that made me very on guard after the first giggles at their colouring and 'oh, but it's okay she's a girl' to the girls

I'm going to be one mean mummy if I have to be, but am already upset at the implications for my husband, ( cross as I am with him most of the rest of the time, ) it's so RUDE and really hurtful.

Any mamas of ginger twins here for solidarity and suggestions on how best to deal with people's bad manners !?!

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#2 of 26 Old 09-27-2008, 08:51 PM
 
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No advice, just wanted to say that I absolutely love red heads! Seriously! I'm not one but just looooove that coloring! And I like when you call it 'ginger'. tee hee

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#3 of 26 Old 09-27-2008, 08:59 PM
 
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quiltlovinlisa's boys are red heads, maybe she'll chime in

I love red hair too!
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#4 of 26 Old 09-27-2008, 10:33 PM
 
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Awww. I think little ginger babies would be the best! My mom and two of her sisters are redheads. I keep hoping it will pass down to my babies.

Welcoming our twins :: born February 21, 2009 at 33 weeks! :
C-section due to pre-eclampsia and HELLP:
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#5 of 26 Old 09-27-2008, 10:37 PM
 
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I don't get it. I (and many others) have spent a lot of money in my lifetime trying to be "ginger." Maybe you should point that out to people?

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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#6 of 26 Old 09-27-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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I had no idea what you meant by ginger .... had to keep reading!
Umm .... I have a GF who has ginger ID girls, and they are BEYOND precious!!

Catholic homeschooling mom of 5 - a teenager, a kindergartener, twin boys and a tiny princess. Follow the Adventures! 

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#7 of 26 Old 09-27-2008, 11:13 PM
 
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I don't understand why being a redhead is such a huge deal in the UK. Please explain. I have heard this from several English friends and I have never had the nerve to ask.
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#8 of 26 Old 09-27-2008, 11:19 PM
 
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When I hear ginger used this way, all I can think of is David Tennant as Dr. Who saying, "Aww, I wanted to be ginger. I've never been ginger. "

Honestly, I wouldn't have known what it meant otherwise.

I am curious, like Tinkerbelle, if there is more significance to red hair in the UK?
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#9 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 09:27 AM
 
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Both my ds1 and dd1 have strawberry blond (most people call it red) hair. It's the same as mine. We joked that our twin babies might both have red hair. It's still hard to tell as they don't have much hair but I think baby ds might have some reddish locks but I think baby dd has a darker blonde that dh is thrilled about (she also has his bluish-gray eyes). I used to not want a boy with red hair (no idea why) but now I think it is absolutely adorable!! We did hear a lot of joking aroudn about the red hair though before they were born.

I used to have really red hair which has faded to a strawberry blonde and I am told over and over again by hairdressers that so many people would love my hair colour and they are so impressed that it is natural. So, I agree with the pp's about people spending money to get red hair!

Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)

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#10 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 10:20 AM
 
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I have no idea why, but yes there is some sort of stigma to being ginger in the UK, and particularly with boys. It's ridiculous. Personally I think its beautiful (I dyed my hair red when I was younger and loved it)
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#11 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 10:43 AM
 
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A good friend of mine lived in London as an American ex-pat for almost 5 years. Her strawberry blonde daughter went to nursery (pre-K), reception (K), first form (grade), and second form (grade) there. She was the victim of a shocking amount of bullying, mostly the emotional kind typical of girls but a little physical.

My friend thought that her daughter was targeted because she was the only American in the school and because her daughter was very sensitive and (understandably) gave the bullies the big reaction that they wanted. As an American, hair color wasn't even on her radar screen as a potential issue.

My friend got a wake-up call one day when her daughter's class was studying graphs. They made a chart dividing the kids by hair color -- brown, blond, red. Her daughter was the only one that the other kids identified as having red hair. One popular boy with flame red hair was identified as having brown hair as was a popular girl with hair the same color as my friend's daughter.

Isn't that weird? I'm still not sure what to make of it. Was my friend's daughter picked on because she had red hair? Was she picked on for other reasons (nationality, personality, etc.) and then identified as being a "ginger" because she was a target?

Any way, my personal theory is that red hair is undesirable in England because it marks someone as being Irish or Scottish. I don't know if that's true, but it's the only thing that I can think of.
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#12 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 11:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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this was the right place to post then afterall

maybe we should move to the US. lol.

I think we tend to use the term 'ginger' a lot more than 'red head' in the UK, and yes, it has a huge stigma, mainly for boys, but sometimes girls. There are some colour tones that are considered more 'okay' than others. Sigh. but generally if you've got any redness/ gingery tones you'll be a target for nicknames.

My husband had a guy once ask him if he's ever considered dying his hair blonde, and the guy was black, beautiful dark, dark black skin - I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it. NOBODY seems to pick people up when they make 'hairist' comments, even if they've been a victim of racism.

I am replying to people at the moment that I'd like to have two ginger babies to keep the hair colour pattern going, and that I'll feel hard done by if I never get a ginger baby after marrying a man with ginger hair, but it still really vexes me because I'm wondering how they are going to be treated different by even family after some of the comments.

I'm going to try the hairdressing point now for sure - that people pay for these wonderful shades. That is a good one

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#13 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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My husband is English and he has red hair. When I got pregnant, almost every single American person said, "Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll have his hair!" It was a HUGE let down to everyone that she's a blond. She's nearly three with no sibs on the horizon and people are still saying, "Maybe your next one will be a redhead" with great hope.

My husband's family had the dead opposite reaction only they also added in comments about how awful it would be if they also got his freckles. He was apparently tortured in school as a child. I have no idea why the English have such issues with ginger hair but here it's quite the crowd pleaser.

According to my husband's family, our daughter had hardly a chance. We both wear glasses (or contacts), my hair is curly, his is red, and he has freckles. My BIL's comment was, "Good luck not getting her arse kicked every day at school" meanwhile in the US, curly red hair, freckles, and glasses would keep her in modeling jobs till puberty.
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#14 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 01:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
According to my husband's family, our daughter had hardly a chance. We both wear glasses (or contacts), my hair is curly, his is red, and he has freckles. My BIL's comment was, "Good luck not getting her arse kicked every day at school" meanwhile in the US, curly red hair, freckles, and glasses would keep her in modeling jobs till puberty.
I've always dreamed of having curly red hair and green eyes and freckles!
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#15 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 01:13 PM
 
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ds is a redhead, well, what hair there is. they say in 20 or 50 years (you know my memory) that gene will be gone from the earth. so i think it makes him super special to be one of the last redheads. plus, it is really pretty! it is like saying, gee, i hope your baby doesn't have brown eyes etc. who cares? you are having a baby and he/she will be perfect whatever they look like!

nak

 Single mama to two wild and sweet toddlers 2/08
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#16 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 04:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by shukr View Post
this was the right place to post then afterall

maybe we should move to the US. lol.

I think we tend to use the term 'ginger' a lot more than 'red head' in the UK, and yes, it has a huge stigma, mainly for boys, but sometimes girls. There are some colour tones that are considered more 'okay' than others. Sigh. but generally if you've got any redness/ gingery tones you'll be a target for nicknames.

My husband had a guy once ask him if he's ever considered dying his hair blonde, and the guy was black, beautiful dark, dark black skin - I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it. NOBODY seems to pick people up when they make 'hairist' comments, even if they've been a victim of racism.

I am replying to people at the moment that I'd like to have two ginger babies to keep the hair colour pattern going, and that I'll feel hard done by if I never get a ginger baby after marrying a man with ginger hair, but it still really vexes me because I'm wondering how they are going to be treated different by even family after some of the comments.

I'm going to try the hairdressing point now for sure - that people pay for these wonderful shades. That is a good one
Hey Shukr I'm a Brit but live in the US (my husband is American) there doesn't seem to be any of the negative remarks/stereotypes in the US about red heads as there are in the UK, in fact it seems to be the opposite.
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#17 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 07:32 PM
 
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Wow! I had no idea that it was looked down up in the UK to be a redhead (and had no idea it was called ginger until reading your post). I had always hoped one of mine would get the red hair gene both dh & I carry (although neither of us have red hair ourselves, save highlights). I'm sad that people would act that way! Red hair is gorgeous!

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#18 of 26 Old 09-28-2008, 10:08 PM
 
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I went to primary school in Gloucestershire, I have auburn hair and freckles and everyone wanted to play with me! Maybe because I was one of 2 American kids at the school, other kids used to surround us and say "Say something!". I always got to be first in line when the bigger children would swing the younger ones around 'a leg and a wing' style, and taught me how to peg people with the beech-nut like things that fell from the trees at the playground.

Maybe that school was a pocket of renegade kids or something.

Or is it only ginger if you're a bright redhead?
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#19 of 26 Old 09-29-2008, 04:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, auburn is one of the shades that seems to make it okay in the UK but I would say your experience was still something exceptional here.((

There is always at least someone red/ginger in a school class/year who is supposed to good humouredly put up with all the name calling, ( and I won't even start on what they range from), as it's known that they are kind of the socially acceptable scapegoat to class tension. I guess it will end up strengthening my homeschooling vibe too !?!

It's more the worry about how family and friends are going to be that is left lingering in my psyche, but I guess they'll get over it at some point....

Thanks for all the input

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#20 of 26 Old 09-29-2008, 08:23 AM
 
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I have a ginger son, too. He is 4 now, we live in the US now, but we didnt move here til he was about 3, so we lived in the UK up til then. I never had a problem with him being ginger in the UK. I suppose its where you live, up north they are more apt to judge then in the southwest, where I lived. I have found in the US my son is ooed and ahhed over and everyone stops and comments on his beautiful hair. Lots of sighs and wishes"i always wanted a redhead child" etc. MY hubby is british and grew up with redhair and never had a problem with it, so I dont know.Im kinda glad we moved to the USA tho. LOL

Me and my wonderful husband serve God. Blessed with twin girls 2/11/11. <3

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#21 of 26 Old 09-29-2008, 08:43 AM
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Originally Posted by shukr View Post
This is almost off topic, EXCEPT, apparently it is even more heinous of me to be potentially bearing TWO ginger babies at the same time than just a potential ginger singleton.

Anyone who is giggling better stop right now

I'm gobsmacked people have the audacity to state things such as 'let's hope it's not ginger twins'. Grrrr. I know in some cultures it's considered acceptable to hope for fair skinned babies as more desirable, , but I'm getting people of all colours and backgrounds, even my husband's family, ( he's the one who provides evidence of the ginger gene), chuckling that I might be having ginger twins.

Eugh. The attitude is driving me crazy now

Btw, sorry if anyone is offended by the use 'ginger' as opposed to 'red' hair.

Of my four children so far, they've ended up brown, brown, blonde, blonde - and all but one had a fairly gingerish stage that made me very on guard after the first giggles at their colouring and 'oh, but it's okay she's a girl' to the girls

I'm going to be one mean mummy if I have to be, but am already upset at the implications for my husband, ( cross as I am with him most of the rest of the time, ) it's so RUDE and really hurtful.

Any mamas of ginger twins here for solidarity and suggestions on how best to deal with people's bad manners !?!
Why would someone say they hope your children aren't redheads?! :

Do they not KNOW how much money women spend trying to fake that look? (I trashed my hair for a good 3-4 years dying and overdying to achieve the right shade of strawberry blonde.)

Do they not KNOW how very, very cute TWO redheaded toddlers are? Do they not KNOW how much EASIER it is to find two redheads in a large crowd of children? You are much less likely to take home the wrong children, than if you had, say, tow-headed children.

Do they think that all redheads are trouble (like, they are all just like the Scavo twins on Desperate Housewives?) Well, in that case, I hope you don't have blonde children - look at what a PITA that Dennis the Menace was.
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#22 of 26 Old 09-29-2008, 10:40 AM
 
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Why would someone say they hope your children aren't redheads?! :

Do they not KNOW how much money women spend trying to fake that look? (I trashed my hair for a good 3-4 years dying and overdying to achieve the right shade of strawberry blonde.)

Do they not KNOW how very, very cute TWO redheaded toddlers are? Do they not KNOW how much EASIER it is to find two redheads in a large crowd of children? You are much less likely to take home the wrong children, than if you had, say, tow-headed children.

Do they think that all redheads are trouble (like, they are all just like the Scavo twins on Desperate Housewives?) Well, in that case, I hope you don't have blonde children - look at what a PITA that Dennis the Menace was.
Ahh but in Britain Dennis the Menace has black hair
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#23 of 26 Old 09-29-2008, 10:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Do they not KNOW how much EASIER it is to find two redheads in a large crowd of children?

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#24 of 26 Old 09-29-2008, 10:58 AM
 
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Ahh but in Britain Dennis the Menace has black hair
http://thelittlechimpsociety.com/images/np6.jpg
He's also a genuine menace instead of a normally active child with low impulse control.

As for people having no manners, how about an annoyed look and "pardon me, but you are extremely rude and I'm going to stop talking to you now, good day."
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#25 of 26 Old 10-01-2008, 09:17 PM
 
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As a hennahead who gets constant hair compliments, and has received MANY a 'Ooh, I wonder if the baby'll have red hair like you!' (thus proving that I can pass for a natural redhead), I say... move to NZ! I've never had any of the negative, offensive or sexual comments I've heard British redheads get--in fact, I only heard of gingerism about a year ago and was completely thrown. It's such an arbitrary, random thing to choose to demonise!

Anyway, I've read that the redhead gene is indeed likely to die out (unless more redheads start marrying redheads)... so consider yourself the potential bearer of the Last of Their Kind. Okay, no, don't, that sounds more depressing than I anticipated! I think your responses are good--enthusiastically affirming that you think red hair is cool means the impertinent person either has to agree, or outright say 'I think red hair is ugly'--in which case you can freeze them down Miss Manners style quite justifiably.

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#26 of 26 Old 10-02-2008, 03:15 AM
 
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Have you seen the Catherine Tate show ginger skits - very funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1aQfpbjuLE

I will see if I can find some more of the Catherine's ginger skits - their great!

I have red haired family members and was disappointed none of my children inherited red hair.

Sam, mum to: Ian, James, Lottie, Maddy, Jack, Ruby, Bronte & Sophia and Nate
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