feeling like AP is impossible... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 35 Old 10-02-2008, 02:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PurpleMonkey View Post

I don't understand why God gave me twins. I feel guilty because there are people deserving of ONE child who can't have them. I should feel blessed, right?

Thank you to everyone here for your immense wisdom, love, and support. I've realized through this board how I CAN do things and make the best of the situation as I can, to make it as AP as I can.

I

This is a VERY VERY common thought in my head, when I am having bad days. I'm SO glad I'm not the only one.

Catholic homeschooling mom of 5 - a teenager, a kindergartener, twin boys and a tiny princess. Follow the Adventures! 

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#32 of 35 Old 10-02-2008, 08:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by vanauken View Post
And when you get down on how they're getting a bit less mama time than singletons, remember that they have a rare advantage singletons never had: they've never been alone (except maybe in the NICU). But from the earliest, in-utero months of their life through the present, they've known what companionship is. I can't help but think that's a great gift. I've heard someone say once that the twins she knows have a better conception of God, a very secure feeling that they are not alone, that they are loved. That's what I'm hoping the twin experience brings my girls. Just think! To have such an early experience of what it is to have someone always there. That's got to be good for you.
Yes. Ben crawled across the bed and into the co-sleeper so he could snuggle up and fall back asleep with Claire. He just wanted to be near her.
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#33 of 35 Old 10-03-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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Don't try to maintain some philosophy. Be kind, be attentive, meed their needs and know that this is a really really hard time for you. I was in that stage for a long time and had no help. What did I learn? I, and my instincts, are best for my kids. Not my impulses mind you, but my good mothering instincts that tell me to pick up a crying baby, to nurse on demand, etc...

You'll know what is right and loving to do. And you'll be drained and exhausted...your kids are really young and they need you.
I couldn't have said this any better! My twin boys came first and I wasn't even very knowledgable about AP. I did nurse them on demand and of course loved them the best I could. I couldn't find a comfy way to co-sleep, and felt quilty about it, but they did sleep together for a long time. I never found a good way to wear them at the same time, so it was a constant up and down.

Fast forward a few years, while I'm pregnant with my daughter. I though "oh yeah, no I can do all the AP things I couldn't do with my twins" she ended up hating slings and only occasionally tollerates mei-tais! ...the best laid plans eh? LOL

The parenting path is far from being perfectly laid out. You love your children, it's obvious, and you are doing the best you can. Try not to focus on what you can't do, it will make you crazy! You also figure into this equation, so a happy momma=happy kids, find your balance even if it means giving up some of your past plans on what AP is.

hugs momma, and you are doing a fine job!
-Di
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#34 of 35 Old 10-04-2008, 12:52 AM
 
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[QUOTE=purpleheather79;12291047]
My younger set are 4 weeks old tomorrow and we hve good days and bad days. Mostly good... but the bad can be downright awful. I try to keep a hand free at all times because it never fails that someone will need me right when I've sat down to take care of someone else. I have been keeping the babies in a sling (either together or separate) until they fall asleep. Then I lay them down and hopefully have a few minutes to take care of everyone else.
quote

I can't believe that you have 6 kids, and 2 sets of twins, and the younger are only 4 weeks old. I don't know how you do it but your birth video always makes me cry and I think you are an inspiration.

My twins turned 4 weeks today, I don't know if it is a fluke, growth spurt, or God but after ranting the other day about no sleep my twins are now sleeping at 4 hour stretches 2 or 3x a day. One thing I decided to do after ranting is just accept that I'm not getting any sleep for awhile, this is harder than I ever imagined and that my girls didn't ask to be born together but I needed to give each of them my everything and I have to bite my tongue when I want to scream at my toddler because he is a baby too.
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#35 of 35 Old 10-04-2008, 11:56 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Diane~KJ View Post
I couldn't have said this any better! My twin boys came first and I wasn't even very knowledgable about AP. I did nurse them on demand and of course loved them the best I could. I couldn't find a comfy way to co-sleep, and felt quilty about it, but they did sleep together for a long time. I never found a good way to wear them at the same time, so it was a constant up and down.

Fast forward a few years, while I'm pregnant with my daughter. I though "oh yeah, no I can do all the AP things I couldn't do with my twins" she ended up hating slings and only occasionally tollerates mei-tais! ...the best laid plans eh? LOL

The parenting path is far from being perfectly laid out. You love your children, it's obvious, and you are doing the best you can. Try not to focus on what you can't do, it will make you crazy! You also figure into this equation, so a happy momma=happy kids, find your balance even if it means giving up some of your past plans on what AP is.

hugs momma, and you are doing a fine job!

-Di
Perfectly stated! All we can do is give them our all, our best, and they will know that they are loved. To me, that is attachment parenting: being mindful in our ways. We don't have to have our little monkeys on us at all times to be AP. Think of it as more figurative than literal.

Twins are SO HARD! Think about how much stronger you'll be in the end. Twin mamas are incredibly amazing! (Now if one more person says, yeah but at least you're not like Jon and Kate plus 8 I'll smack them!)

Mama to lovely twin girls 1/08
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