I'm starting a new thread on this, so that I don't become an off-topic downer on another one.
I don't feel like I'm doubly blessed with twins. I think each child I have is an individual blessing, but if I could choose I would most definitely never have chosen to have two come at once. I keep wondering when I will not be wrung dry at the end of the day.
The first six weeks were pure hell and I'm glad I don't remember much of them except for the good parts that my MIL wisely insisted I write down right at the time they happened. Now is better, but I am so exhausted I can hardly coherantly think. I have let go everything I possibly can (housework, ect.). The guys are sweet, pretty damn calm babies all things considering. My girl is very laid back and wonderful.
But I am still feeling very overwhelmed, particularly at night--that tends to be when my emotional coping mechanism is at a low.
The pre-mobile phase is not my favorite, maybe I will feel better when Tom and/or Dylan can move around a bit more and not be quite so dependant on me. Maybe this is a hold over from a traumatic pregnancy and first couple of weeks. Or maybe I am a horrible person who doesn't find much romance in the infant stage, I dunno.
But I hear constant gushing stories from other people in my mothers of multiples group too. I am starting to wonder if I am some kind of freak that 3 under 2 is really really really hard and not very much fun for me. Are those other folks fibbing a bit about how ecstatic they find it all? (granted, most of them do NOT have other children, or if they do they are preschool age, not 1 year olds.) Experienced mamas, I could really use some reassurance that this too will pass and that I'm not some horrible detached monster for wishing that it would pass RIGHT NOW instead of when it does. :/
And expectant mamas, the reason why I was loathe to put this in the other thread is because my feelings/experience do NOT have to be yours. Right now I am torn between thinking this is a personal deficiency on my part or residual difficulty because of what happened in the last month prenatally and first 3 weeks postpartum. Maybe both. Most people have wonderful twin pregnancies, if the stories I hear from other moms of multiples are correct. Most people do agree with me that the first 6 weeks are like boot camp to the infinite power, but most people claim that after that things got remarkably easier, where that has not yet happened fully for me.