DCP is wonderful but not so great with money. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 12-19-2008, 08:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our DCP is a terrific lady, we really love her but she is SOOO bad with money. Today was a snow day so I called her this morning to say we wouldn't be coming and that I would drop off the pay I owe her this weekend when they got the roads cleared.
She just called a few minutes ago to see if she could pick up the money from me. What I have in my wallet is $30 short and so I told her so and that my dh would be coming home from work in a few hours, would she like to wait or come get the partial pay.
She sighed a big sigh and said she would wait.

I realize that it is her pay check but it just drives me crazy that less than $100 is such a big deal that she'd call to try and get it 12 hours earlier than planned in such awful road conditions. Usually I stop at the ATM on the way to her place after work and get her money and she knows that.

It is so nice to have an at home provider who loves my children so very much but I am finding that poor management of money is one of my pet peeves. This lady should be in a good pretty financial situation from what I see on the outside. *This* must be why so many companies won't hire you without a credit check.

Has anyone else run into an awkward money situation with their dcp? (Make me feel better, please!)

Mother of two. : 4/05 and 1/07 Wife of one. : 7/01
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#2 of 22 Old 12-19-2008, 08:51 PM
 
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I have the exact opposite problem - I'm a daycare provider and one of my daycare families are TERRIBLE with their money! I know because I hear all about it all the time, especially when they don't pay me on time!

But they will be the first to buy a new Lexus or expensive camera. Grrrr.
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#3 of 22 Old 12-19-2008, 09:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think I boiled it down to the fact that I am embarassed to A) know their money troubles B) be young enough to be her daughter and to be better off financially. It makes me sad for her as well as feeling embarrassed for knowing something so personal.

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#4 of 22 Old 12-19-2008, 10:05 PM
 
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Is it possible that something came up during the time you called her in the morning & she called you back?

If this is a random thing that happens maybe she isn't bad with money but Christmas has taken a good chunk of it.

Maybe all her other childcare kids aren't coming either so she was hoping to get some last minute shopping done?

What she does with her money shouldn't matter.
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#5 of 22 Old 12-19-2008, 10:45 PM
 
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I guess it doesn't sound that weird to me. I'm guessing you were going to pay her if you had dropped your kids off (if the weather had been OK)? Maybe she didn't want to wait until the weekend - maybe she was counting on that money for some reason? I don't think it automatically means she doesn't do well with her money, I think it sounds like she had planned to use her pay on the day that she usually gets paid and when that changed, she still wanted her pay on the appropriate day.

And like a pp said, what if several families didn't pay that day, maybe that made the difference between being on-time and being late for a bill. Doesn't mean she's not good with money. Furthermore, appearances sometimes lie.
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#6 of 22 Old 12-20-2008, 03:07 PM
 
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I'm a childcare provider, and there have been several times that 5-6 families didn't bring their check on a Monday morning when they are due. That's $500-$600 that I had planned to have. Believe me--it makes a difference. Imagine going in to work on your payday and looking at your check, and it's short, or just not there at all.

It may have been that she had already written checks on the money you were to pay her that day, and she needed to deposit it that day to cover them. I have been there, too.
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#7 of 22 Old 12-20-2008, 03:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by daytripper75 View Post
Our DCP is a terrific lady, we really love her but she is SOOO bad with money. Today was a snow day so I called her this morning to say we wouldn't be coming and that I would drop off the pay I owe her this weekend when they got the roads cleared.
She just called a few minutes ago to see if she could pick up the money from me. What I have in my wallet is $30 short and so I told her so and that my dh would be coming home from work in a few hours, would she like to wait or come get the partial pay.
She sighed a big sigh and said she would wait.

I realize that it is her pay check but it just drives me crazy that less than $100 is such a big deal that she'd call to try and get it 12 hours earlier than planned in such awful road conditions. Usually I stop at the ATM on the way to her place after work and get her money and she knows that.

It is so nice to have an at home provider who loves my children so very much but I am finding that poor management of money is one of my pet peeves. This lady should be in a good pretty financial situation from what I see on the outside. *This* must be why so many companies won't hire you without a credit check.

Has anyone else run into an awkward money situation with their dcp? (Make me feel better, please!)
If you knew the storm was coming, and $100 isn't a big deal to you, why didn't you pay her yesterday, knowing you might not be able to meet your obligation today? Or, if it was a surprise, why not have your DH drop the money off on the way home from work? You chose to put her in a situation where she's short on her pay, and you're judging her for being proactive and trying to fix the situation

I can think of lots of good reasons why someone who is a fine manager of money might be a little short right now -- maybe she just made a big deposit to her retirement account or had unexpected house repairs or a relative is sick and she helped them out. None of those things have any bearing on how well she handles her money or whether or not she she should be hired.
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#8 of 22 Old 12-20-2008, 04:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by diaperqueen View Post
I'm a childcare provider, and there have been several times that 5-6 families didn't bring their check on a Monday morning when they are due. That's $500-$600 that I had planned to have. Believe me--it makes a difference. Imagine going in to work on your payday and looking at your check, and it's short, or just not there at all.

It may have been that she had already written checks on the money you were to pay her that day, and she needed to deposit it that day to cover them. I have been there, too.
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#9 of 22 Old 12-20-2008, 04:29 PM
 
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Not everyone is fortunate enough to have enough money to be careful. Not everyone finds work that will pay them lots of money, or even a living wage and are forced to live by the skin of their teeth. People make bad decisions, or bad decisions are made for them earlier on in life and they are stuck working hard for each shilling they get.

This is not for you to feel guilty. There are people who earn or just have far more than you and pity you and your situation, that much I can guarantee. I mean, how unfortunate that you must ride a commercial airline. (some of the very wealthy do think that!) Have respect for your DCP enough that there is no pity involved and you pay her when you say you will.

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#10 of 22 Old 12-20-2008, 06:01 PM
 
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I agree with a pp who mentioned Christmas. I know that right now, every dollar matters as I try to celebrate and plan a big dinner, buy gifts, do things, etc. Heck, I'm hoping that I can transfer $30 back from my joint checking to my individual checking!!

Does this happen often? Does she ask to be paid in advance? If this is a one time thing, I would chalk it up to something that you don't know about. If you are ALWAYS having to pay her early or she gets very anxious on the days you pay her, then there may be something going on. However, if the money isn't that big of an issue for you, could you pay her biweekly or monthly, so that you are dealing with money with her less often?

I might be concerned about the money thing, too, because if she is really bad with money, it's possible that she would have to stop caring for kids to do something else, in which case you would have to find a new provider. If that doesn't seem to be the case, though, then I wouldn't worry about it too much.
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#11 of 22 Old 12-20-2008, 06:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Momily View Post
If you knew the storm was coming, and $100 isn't a big deal to you, why didn't you pay her yesterday, knowing you might not be able to meet your obligation today? Or, if it was a surprise, why not have your DH drop the money off on the way home from work? You chose to put her in a situation where she's short on her pay, and you're judging her for being proactive and trying to fix the situation

I can think of lots of good reasons why someone who is a fine manager of money might be a little short right now -- maybe she just made a big deposit to her retirement account or had unexpected house repairs or a relative is sick and she helped them out. None of those things have any bearing on how well she handles her money or whether or not she she should be hired.
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Not everyone is fortunate enough to have enough money to be careful. Not everyone finds work that will pay them lots of money, or even a living wage and are forced to live by the skin of their teeth. People make bad decisions, or bad decisions are made for them earlier on in life and they are stuck working hard for each shilling they get.

This is not for you to feel guilty. There are people who earn or just have far more than you and pity you and your situation, that much I can guarantee. I mean, how unfortunate that you must ride a commercial airline. (some of the very wealthy do think that!) Have respect for your DCP enough that there is no pity involved and you pay her when you say you will.
: Especially this time of year and in this current economic climate there are many reasons why she would need her money now. I am not DCP but I do freelance work and recently had a client not able to pay me when they said they would and it really put me in a bad place. Yet when folks work for companies no one would ever expect the ABC Corporation to not have their pay available on payday.

OP, please do not think I am picking on you but I guess if I were you, I would not be quick to assume she is bad with money.

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#12 of 22 Old 12-20-2008, 06:18 PM
 
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You might have also been one of many who called her today with the same reason for not being able to pay her on time.
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#13 of 22 Old 12-21-2008, 04:13 PM
 
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I would be peeved, too, if I were her. She's banking on her clients paying on time, which is a reasonable thing to do. And expecting to be paid on time doesn't warrant your pity. I don't care if I have $5 or $5,000 in the bank, I would be sighing too if my paycheck wasn't in my account the day it was supposed to be.
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#14 of 22 Old 12-21-2008, 04:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by daytripper75 View Post
This lady should be in a good pretty financial situation from what I see on the outside. *This* must be why so many companies won't hire you without a credit check.
I hate to risk making you feel "picked on" here, but you really can not judge other people's money situations. I know many people assume that my immediate family is just swimming in money (unfortunately a ten-minute internet search will reveal my annual salary). However, we have massive student loans debt, we pay a relative's entire mortgage every month (victim of a lay-off and terrible real estate situation), and we frequently send money to our single mom friend who is really struggling. If I got paid a day late, there are times that would really hurt us!

I also don't think someone's credit history has anything to do with their job competence. Anyone can lose a job and get over extended in this economy.
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#15 of 22 Old 12-22-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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Another dcp chiming in. We had a ton of snow here Friday as well. Because it was end of week, I was out $700 for the parents that didn't come. I expected no one to pay that felt it was unsafe to travel but here it is Monday and one family forgot and another has decided not to come back until after New Years. That not only messes up Christmas shopping but also my end of year calculations and my kds tuition. I think it can seem like your provider is bad with money or you know some secret, but truth be told you only see a small window into their life. Imagine if you had to ask your boss weekly for your money. Imagine if ceretain conditions casued you to have to wait days for your check or to risk your safety to go get it.
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#16 of 22 Old 12-23-2008, 01:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh boy!
Actually she is really bad with money. She admits it herself and more than once she has answered a collections call when I was dropping off or picking up.
I used to pay her monthly. I would pull out cash and pay her in advance on the first day of the month. She asked me to stop because she couldn't budget herself to the end of the month. Then she would ask me on early in the week for money some weeks. It kind of got to the point when I never knew when I should have the money available. She got better for a while and it was less stressful for me.
Since I work part time I only take my child to her part time. Last weeks arrangement was for Monday, Tuesday and Friday. I had no idea when I last saw her on Tuesday that Friday was going to be a snowday with 12 inches of snow, otherwise I would have been happy to have paid her early. I was actually planning on dropping my child off to her even with the snow but when she didn't answer her phone that morning or call me back until my lo was in bed for nap I gave up the ghost. When she called I did offer to write her a check (for cash) if she wanted to swing by on the way to the mall (where she said she was going) to get it (I live 3 blocks from her) and she declined.

She is a great lady, I just know way too much about her finances for my comfort and was really fed up on Friday. She's human, I'm human.

My husband actually ended up going to her house after he got off of work at 8 to give her the money. I understand the importance of having the pay you expect at the end of the week but there are circumstances sometimes! I would certainly consider 12 inches of snow and uncleared roads to be a circumstance! And what I think this really boils down to is the fact that I don't want to know one thing about her financial situation. It makes me very, very, very uncomfortable. She talks about it openly and that is where my "pity" comes in. She basically asks for my sympathy each time she talks about money.

Mother of two. : 4/05 and 1/07 Wife of one. : 7/01
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#17 of 22 Old 12-23-2008, 01:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by daytripper75 View Post
Oh boy!
And what I think this really boils down to is the fact that I don't want to know one thing about her financial situation. It makes me very, very, very uncomfortable. She talks about it openly and that is where my "pity" comes in. She basically asks for my sympathy each time she talks about money.
This is a totally different story! I think your offer to write a check was perfectly reasonable.

I also think you should tell her that you are uncomfortable knowing so much about her financial situation. It will be uncomfortable to tell her so, but it will be better in the end. My friend had a similar situation with her nanny. The nanny would tell her endless tales of woe about finances, boyfriends with money problems, and immigration problems of family members. My friend tried to help as much as she could, but she was literally losing sleep at night over the nanny's personal problems. She basically had to tell her that if she felt she deserved a raise, please let her know, and if she was ever in an emergency situation to please ask her for help. But she couldn't handle the stress of trying to fix nanny's finances, relationships, and extended family immigration issues on top of dealing with her own full-time job and three children.

I think if you are paying DCP a fair wage and paying her regularly on time, you have done what you are obligated to do, and your DCP needs to reach out to family, her faith community, whatever, and stop laying a guilt trip on you.
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#18 of 22 Old 12-23-2008, 02:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is a totally different story!

Isn't that how it ususally goes, there is almost always more to any story you read on the Internet.

I will take your advice and talk with her at the next opportunity. I didn't realize how much it was bothering me until this thread. Thanks!

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#19 of 22 Old 12-23-2008, 11:40 PM
 
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Well, as someone who lives paycheck to paycheck, I think she has the right to get pd when it is her payday.... regardless of whether it is $100 or $1000. I am making $15,000 more/year than I was a few years ago and I still need my pay on payday.

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#20 of 22 Old 12-24-2008, 07:15 PM
 
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One of our providers is like that however I know her situation and i am try to work with what she has going on. I know she calles me on each payday to make sure I am bringing money over. I have never been late on her payments ever but she still calls. I really think it the sign of the times right now.

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#21 of 22 Old 12-24-2008, 07:24 PM
 
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Wow, "less than $100" is a HUGE deal to my dp and I, and if I were your dcp and saw this on MDC I would flip. the. f. out.

Seriously... you have no idea what anyone's situation is. I've had people ask me "if dp makes x amount why are you guys struggling so much" and they just have NO FREAKING IDEA what our situation is.

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#22 of 22 Old 12-27-2008, 01:14 PM
 
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