Mothering Forum banner

What would you choose?

  • I'd keep the job

    Votes: 32 28.6%
  • I'd take the prize money

    Votes: 80 71.4%

Would you WOH if you didn't have to?

2K views 49 replies 45 participants last post by  Dragonfly 
#1 ·
Say your fairy godmother appeared and gave you a choice:

"I can make it so that you win a monthly prize until you're 65 that is exactly equal to your current monthly wage/salary including any bonuses or promotions you might get, but you have to give up work to get it. Or you can just stay at your job, which I can guarantee you won't lose until you retire at 65."

What would you choose? (And you don't have to tell anyone about the offer.)

I'd choose the job.
 
#2 ·
I love my job, and I love that I have the flexibility to work part-time. I'd definitely keep the job.

If I had to choose between full-time work and the money...that's a much harder choice...
I think then I'd take the money...would the fairy godmother allow me to volunteer at a nonprofit?
 
#5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Proud2BeAnAmerican View Post
I would choose my children. That's the ultimate prize isn't it?

I'd say that for me children are the ultimate good but not the ultimate prize. I was lucky enough to conceive both my children the first time I tried, but I had to work hard for 12 years to get the job I have now.

I also believe that for me, choosing the job is choosing a happier and thus better mother for my children.
 
#6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Murihiku View Post
"I can make it so that you win a monthly prize until you're 65 that is exactly equal to your current monthly wage/salary including any bonuses or promotions you might get, but you have to give up work to get it. Or you can just stay at your job, which I can guarantee you won't lose until you retire at 65."
Well, right now I'm working and also in school, hoping to get a real job one day. The amount I make at work each month is barely enough to make ends meet, so I sure wouldn't want to deal with a tiny income like that for another 27 years.

Nor do I want to be doing what I'm doing for just as long.

I'd keep my job, stay in school, and aim to eventually have a decent income.

My kids are older and I've already put myself on the back burner for a number of years so I could be home with them. I gave up a career in order to be a homeschool mom (which I was happy to do). I didn't anticipate being left by their father. I want to be doing well financially at some point so as not to burden my kids when they're grown.
 
#10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom View Post
I have discovered that I am happiest if I have A job, but I'm not sure if I would keep THIS job given an offer like that. I would probably jump at offer and then commit to a regular volunteer/save the world sort of thing.
This exactly.
 
#16 ·
I love my job, but I would take the money. I could use the money to be more flexible with my time while the kids are little. I could easily find opportunities to volunteer at their school or other places so I could feel useful.
 
#17 ·
Way back before we had DD, I worked in the arts (theatre and visual) but was tired of scrambling and being poor, poor, poor. DH and I decided that I would get a professional degree which would allow me to contribute more to the household income. I got that degree, got the professional job with the professional level salary, and then SURPRISE, DD came along. I'm still working in that profession with its good salary, etc., but if I had the financial ability to go back to making art, puppets, working in theatre, etc., I'd do it in a second. Doesn't mean that I wouldn't be working outside the home, just means that I would have the flexibility and financial wherewithall to do what I want. I'd love to have the time to take DD around the world, bike across America, train for a triatholon, teach printmaking and bookmaking classes to kids who can't afford it.

So in essence, having the money wouldn't be about the ability to quit working outside the home, it would be about creating the lifestyle and the work that I've always dreamt of for me and my family.

No offense to the OP, but I didn't vote because I feel I fit into some third category: take the money and do the type of work I really would like to be doing right now. That of course, would include flexibility, ability to make my own schedule, ability to include DD in my work and adventures. I wish I could do that in my current position but it just isn't the nature of the beast.
 
#18 ·
I would keep a job but not necessarily the one I am currently doing. (If I assume the fairy godmother would allow me to take the prize money and work somewhere else
)
 
#19 ·
I'd quit. I don't have some wonderful fulfilling career. I have a job that I don't have any feelings, good or bad, for. Right now I work because I have to, if I could, I would quit and stay home with my kids. I know at some point down the road, I would want to start doing something again but not full time.
 
#24 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom View Post
I have discovered that I am happiest if I have A job, but I'm not sure if I would keep THIS job given an offer like that. I would probably jump at offer and then commit to a regular volunteer/save the world sort of thing.
exactly my thought.
 
#25 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Proud2BeAnAmerican View Post
I would choose my children. That's the ultimate prize isn't it?

Wow, so in your view, the decision is children vs working.

For many of us, that is not the break out. My work directly and indirectly supports my children. - my work is part of my care taking responsibilities for my family.

My working activities are a core part of my mothering identity - not a separate part of it.

Think about the common mainstream view that a father's income earning behavior is a core part of the definition of fatherhood (evidenced by the fact that when a father does not financially support his kids, it is commonly viewed that he is a failure as a father).

But the assumption is that core mothering behaviors do not include financially supporting the family, which is bizarre and contrary to most of human existence.

I think the false dichotomy for mothers between working (which is seen as something done for personal reasons) and childcare/nurturing (which is seen as mothering responsibilities) hurts mothers, hurts fathers, and hurts children. Most families do not have a choice about work.

I think a huge contributing factor is the structure of paid work - inflexible hours, inflexible location, a total separation of "home (where children are)" and "work (where adults are)", and other factors, all of which revolve around an ideal worker model being inherently male with a full time non-working spouse.

No wonder mothers get screwed on the deal, regardless of our "choice".

We are given crappy "choices and then blamed when those choices end up hurting us (because if we had the "choice", we have all the responsibility).

</vent>

But yeah, if someone is going to give me free money, I will take it.

Maybe I need to drink less caffeine in the afternoon.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top