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*sigh* This sounds so familiar...
In my experience with nannies, I have several thoughts on this issue:
First, there really isn't much you can do to change someone's personality and lifestyle preferences. People are who they are and you can tell them until you are blue in the face that you want them to do X, Y, and Z, and they just won't "get it". If you have been concerned about something in a nanny for at least 2-3 months, then it will probably NOT change.
Second, it is hard to get a *perfect* match. There will always be something about a nanny that won't be exactly what you want. And you have to learn to figure out what are the most important things - AT THAT TIME. Because of the following (read on...)
Third, sometimes you have to get different nannies for different stages of a child's life. A nanny who was great with a newborn may not be great with a toddler... or a preschooler... or a school-age child.
In conclusion - I have no problem with the idea of having to let a nanny go because maybe she started out great, but the needs of the child/family changed and so the nanny needs to change as well.
Letting someone go because of these types of things is an honest sort of deal. You aren't telling someone they are "bad" or "wrong" or being "negligent". You are saying that "needs have changed" and you are looking for a different type of person now.
Pardon me while I
i'm going to come at this from a different angle and say that WAH with a nanny doing the childcare NEVER did work for me. i tried this when DD was younger, since i have no office (i'm a grad student) and it didn't make sense for me to work anywhere but home. i could never ever focus because as soon as i heard a peep out of her, i was completely off my game.
i know she cries at daycare. she sometimes falls and gets boo-boos. i know she tantrums because she does that at home. but i trust them to take care of her, and i know she will be as safe there as she would with me (if not safer; they babyproofed a lot better than i did!).
point being, it might be time for you to consider a daycare setting, or a sitter who watches DD in their home. no matter how great my sitters were (and i had one who was truly wonderful), i could never WAH with DD there.
just my .02, of course--YMMV!
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