Saturday study day. That is a no go with me because I want to reserve weekends for family only time. So he will go directly from his job at 4:30 and head to the resource library for study and research. I will be studying and doing homework on my breaks between classes. For projects that require study in the community Kailey will stay with Marks mom or aunt, or Mark.
When I have a big paper due or have procrastinated about an assignment, dh and ds go visit grandma for a few hours on the weekend
Going to school is the same as working full time.
Ok, so that rule got bent, a LOT, but it really helped. I don't know how you feel about childcare, but I realized that the only way I could push through was to treat school like work and so DS went into care at around 10 1/2 months. He had been home w/ DH before that, so he got a lot of really good one-on-one time. (Financially it wasn't an option for DH to stay home while I was racking up $$$$$ in loans!) We worked hard to find a good place and got recommendations from other parents before we signed him up. I was heartbroken, but DS was so happy there! It has been a really great experience, actually.
Basically, I would get up, get him ready in the morning (so we got lots of cuddle time) and take him to daycare, which was near my school. It was a longish ride, so we got time to sing and talk in the car. Then, when the day was over, I'd pick him up and bring him home. Once we were home, I was done with school for the day. We spent the whole evening focusing on DS and then, when he went to bed, DH and I tried to have a little time. I was still BF'ing, which helped with the connection (although DS self-weaned at around 12 mos. ).
I made sure that any group project I was involved in was scheduled well in advance so that if there was no way around it and we had to meet in the evenings or weekends, I could make arrangements w/ DH and pull some time w/ DS from another part of the week. Since it was easy to tell when I'd be really busy (finals, etc.), DH and I worked out an schedule where he really took on a lot. If I just had to spend a Saturday studying, DH would take DS for the day and I would head off to school. Then, the next day, I would take DS for the whole day and really work on quality time.
Ladies, what we are doing is probably the hardest thing in the world. To be in school with a partner and child(ren) is a testament to how strong we all are! Kudos to all of us!!
ex-Californian, making my way on the East Coast with DS (10), DS (6) and WAHDH. Former extended BF'er, co-sleeper, and baby-wearer. Remembering how to garden.
It is actually harder for me to study w/dh around than just the kids. He's a much bigger distraction most of the time!!
That being said, the thing that helps me the most is having her "help" me. She loves to be a part of whatever I'm doing, even if she isn't really helping! For example, if we're putting on her shoes and she wants to grab at them, I ask her if she wants to help me put them on and she says "Yeah" and then holds it out and tries to put it on. Then when I put it on I thank her for helping me. So with studying, I ask her if she wants to help me and then help her find something to play with near me. I then periodically will thank her for helping me so well! It sounds like you are trying to give your daughter activities near you already, so it just might not work for you... but verbally acknowledging her assistance might make a difference. :
Also, I often have to read 1 paragraph at a time! As soon as I sit down AND SHE NOTICES, she's all over my book. Sometimes I can sneak a peak at 1 paragraph at a time before she notices!
In the beginning, I could lay down on the bed, latch her on, put a math book behind her, and work over her head while she nursed. By the time she was 6 or 8 months, though, that didn't work so well :-) I did most of my studying while she slept, although sometimes she'd be sleeping on my lap while I read a textbook. If I were doing it again, I'd *really* try hard to get a laptop somehow, even a really old one, just to word process. Sometimes, if she was having a hard time settling, I'd set an alarm for a few hours later and sleep with her for a while and then wake at 2 and work, or else I'd set it for a couple hours earlier than she usually woke and work then...
Nine months to about 21 months was the hardest time for me, because she was so into everything and growing and changing so quickly, but she wouldn't focus on anything for more than 30 seconds. When she was a little older, then I could set up something for her and gain 10 minutes to study, at least most of the time.
Oh, when she was a toddler I'd also pay a couple neighbors to watch her and play with her while I was there but studying. One was an 8 yr old boy with 3 younger siblings (sometimes he brought one of them along), and the other was a moderately developmentally delayed teenager who was mostly non-verbal but Rain loved her. I didn't pay them a lot - a dollar or two, although this was 10 years ago - but for Rain, these were friends, not caregivers, so she was willing to go with them. Mostly they'd play in her room and make huge messes, but I'd get an hour or so to sit at the kitchen table or at the computer, and if she got tired or cranky they'd bring her to me, or I'd hear and go to her.
Single mom to Rain (1/93) , grad student, and world traveler
So I only study after she has gone to bed or is napping, and I try to catch up on my sleep during the weekend.
Another tactic is I use is studying/writing standing up. We have a dresser thingie in our living room and I lay my book on it and stand at the dresser, so she cant' see what's up there and can't crawl/climb on me. She's pretty content to play at my feet for a while.
I'm single, so I don't have this option, but if I did have a partner, I would try to have him get her out of the house for an hour or two each day to the park or something too.
Student mamas rock!!!!! It is so hard to be where we are........
Good luck to you all this semester
|Originally posted by shelbean91
I never allowed myself to wait until the last minute (which I normally do for EVERYTHING) b/c everything took me much longer than it should. (Sometimes reading one chapter took me 4 hours!!)
Mom to 5 wonderful kids (9, 6, 4, 2 and 0), 1 adopted through foster care.
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... actually when i need to study i try to do it in between classes, while he's still in his daycare.
at night... hopefully your dd is just going through a phase. otherwise i don't know what to tell you. if it were me, i'd probably invite someone over to watch my little one for awhile while i work. i guess i'm blessed ~ my son goes to bed and usually will sleep at least most of the night without waking up and being upset (although this is a fairly recent development ).....
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