DH and I are stuck and not able to make a decision. Ok, I guess its more mine than his to make. Hoping for some fresh active working mama ideas/thoughts/insights to help me out.
Before DS was born almost 2 years ago now, I was an event planner/pr
person for a major university. I had this position at 2 different universities over a 5 year span. I have a masters in a somewhat related field, some corporate experience, but mainly non-profits/education.
My pregnancy with DS was the best accident ever, as was its timing with finding out that DH(PhD student) had received funding for all of us to go to West Africa for 9 months for his field work. DS was born, I went back to work PT for 2 months after leave and when he was 5 months, became a SAHM when we went to Mali and have been one the past 9 months we've been back.
We are living off of DHs small teaching stipend, student loans and some investment income that, obviously shrank considerably over the past year.
The idea, when we left Mali was originally that I would go back to work, but I could stand the thought of leaving DS, so we figured out based on the investment, that we could live 3 years like we are now. It would fund my mommy time, we could have #2 and I wouldn't have to go back to work until #2 was 2. Dreamy, right?
But the economy tanked. We lost 25% of our investment $. There has been one unexpected major expense after another. DH is an amazing job candidate when he finishes in a year, but none the less, he is entering a ridiculously competitive field. Its only realistic that he could be unemployed for a bit. And all of this has obviously made us scared of #2...
As long as DH can get $2,000 in the door each month AND we have no more major unexpecteds, AND the market doesn't tank again, we have 2.5 years left of investment to live off of. But we have minimal control over those unknowns. Oh, I should add, I am 35 in 3 weeks. My clock is beginning to count down and we don't want the kids to be too far apart if we don't have to.
We both change our minds daily about having another one right now. I've been crying the past 2 days because it just feels like I need to get a job. But events work is SO not family friendly. The job market sucks in all fields. And DS isn't old enough for quality and affordable pre school. I'd need to make at least $1500 a month to make it work PT and $2500 FT(oh, thats TAKE HOME).
Ok...I'll stop the inane details. Point is, I'm just stuck. I have been for a while now and I really need a new game plan soon or I am going to go insane. I feel SO blessed to have had what I've had and for the fantastic family I have. I feel lucky to feel like I have options(maybe?). I am so sad to think about working again(I've been doing volunteer work to keep up the fulfillment piece and I LOVE it), so sad to think about not having another right now, but also stressed out about our financial situation daily. I even started smoking again for a bit(thats at least over). And its not good for anyone when I'm not feeling grounded.
Thanks for reading up to this point and TIA for anything you can offer.