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#1 of 13 Old 02-24-2004, 02:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello,
I am new to this forum. I am pg with 1#. I will be working up till the end and only have 6wks off because I am the main wage earner. I am hoping the DH will be able to stay at MIL close to work to care for the baby 4 days a week that I work and bring the baby to work for BF.
I would love to hear if any one else has had experience with this type of arrangement. I really hope things work out well.

Thanks,
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#2 of 13 Old 02-24-2004, 06:09 PM
 
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I'm a full time nursing student and was fortunate to be able to bring the babies to class w/ me a lot...but when I couldn't my dh was always there somewhere on campus so that I could nurse on demand, it worked out really well for all of us...dad got special time, I was able to nurse and be w/ thebaby and still work away at this crazy school thing...best of luck to you
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#3 of 13 Old 02-24-2004, 06:16 PM
 
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my dh is a sahd/wahd and cares for dd while I'm at work 4 days per week (10-hour days). It works very well for us. I don't get to nurse dd while at work (too far from home to realistically bring her in regularly) so I pump and dd takes a bottle. Dh started staying home with her from the very beginning (like two weeks old) as I would go into the office for one half-day per week. We gradually built up to 20 hr, then 30 hr, then back to full-time at 4 months old.

if you plan to pump and have questions, just ask away. There's also a good yahoo group called pump moms.

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#4 of 13 Old 02-24-2004, 06:51 PM
 
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Welcome Inochi!!




My DH is also a SAHD, but he didn't start until DD was 15 months old. It's so great that you will have baby close by. It's tough on the breastfeeding when mamas have to be separated from their babies so early (lousy US maternity leave policies! ). But it is so wonderful that you have a supportive DH. I'm sure it will work out well for you having baby close by.

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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#5 of 13 Old 02-24-2004, 07:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the great stories so far.
I am an independent contractor so I will get to arrange my schedule how I need to. I am taking 6 weeks because I have to pay myself for the time off. That's all I can afford. I think things will work ok though.
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#6 of 13 Old 02-25-2004, 11:47 AM
 
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Hi,

My DH is also a FT SAHD. I started back at work at 6 weeks as well, though I eased myself into it, adding 1 day a week until returning FT at 10 weeks.

Especially for those first several weeks you're back at work, it is important to nurse your baby at the breast during the day as much as you can to help with supply. I struggled with pumping supply, and I can certainly point you in the right direction for tips on increasing things if that turns out to be an issue. Get yourself a copy of Nursing Mother, Working Mother as a place to start.

My DH really enjoys being the at-home parent, but being male in a women's world has been difficult for him. He's not outgoing enough to just dive into a situation. For instance, it took about 2 months of my gentle prodding (nagging?) to get him to actually try out the baby room at the library.

If your area has an evening LLL meeting, attend it and see what you can find. I did a tally last night -- of the 14 women there, there were 5 with stay-at-home dads. I don't know how unique my area is, but it is becoming more and more common. The playgroup my DD and DH attend is formed from women from LLL and they've been very welcoming, though it took a few tries to find a group.

If you have any questions... ask away!

Congratulations on the new baby!
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#7 of 13 Old 02-25-2004, 05:21 PM
 
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We are a SAHD / WAHM family. My husband started staying at home when our DD1 was 3 mos. old. I was a WOHM then. When she was a little over 1, I started my freelance business from home, and now we also have a DD2.

We like our arrangement a lot now that I can work from home and participate more, although I do sometimes have to work more than 8 hrs. per day.

Just to encourage you -
With DD1, I pumped from 3 mos. to almost 18 mos., and I was able to BF her without using any formula. Now I'm almost 9 mos. into BF with DD2. It's hard sometimes, but it can be done!

As far as the dad's situation, it can be difficult for stay-at-home dads to get into the "mommy club". My husband feels that he gets weird looks at the park in the middle of the day. But our DD1 is in part-time pre-school, and the moms there have accepted him into the fold.

Mom "D" to DD1 "Z" (14) and DD2 "I" (11) DH "M"

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#8 of 13 Old 02-25-2004, 06:25 PM
 
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Inochi;
There was a thread on this just a month or so ago, just fyi...http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...hreadid=109615
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#9 of 13 Old 02-26-2004, 12:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ragana
As far as the dad's situation, it can be difficult for stay-at-home dads to get into the "mommy club". My husband feels that he gets weird looks at the park in the middle of the day.
We call that the "dancing bear" syndrome.

It helps to go to the park at the same time every day. My DH has noticed that most people assume he's just home from work that one day with the kid. When he started going to the park at the same time, he slowly started talking to people, even if it was just to smile and say hello.

I got invited to join several playgroups when DD was tiny. I replied "that would be great, but I work during the day. Could my DH come instead?" The response was generally along the lines of "ummm, err, well, see, we talk, err, about, ummm, stuff." The last invitatition came from someone in LLL, and a few of the families in that group have become really good friends. It took a while, but the group DH found has been worth it. It sounds like they talk about kids and computers. A good fit.
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#10 of 13 Old 03-03-2004, 04:12 PM
 
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Another SAHD/WAHM family here!

DH has stayed home w/DD since she was born. I think at first he was underwhelmed by it...but now I am pretty sure he really enjoys it. They go to storytimes and playtimes and other people's houses, and grocery shopping and all that. I try to sit in the office from about 8 until 4 every day...sometimes I need to do work on the weekends too. DD still nurses -- he just brings her in (she's usually signing "milk" pretty vigorously!). We love it!

DH does notice that fathers are discounted everywhere ... he was looking at a parenting magazine (not Mothering...I don't remember which one) and got done and said "well, I saw 2 dads in there, and 1 was in an ad for baby food and all he was doing was watching the mom feed the baby!"

Luckily he has met other SAHDs at playgroups, etc. and they do get together on occasion. I take DD to LLL meetings when I can; I have even taken a day off to do it, b/c it's hard for me to meet other moms.

Enjoy!

Nancy

A writer/runner/thinker/wife with two daughters (11/02 and 8/05), one dog, three cats, seven fish, and a partridge in a pear tree... in Vermont.
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#11 of 13 Old 03-05-2004, 03:00 AM
 
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Hi, my DH is a SAHD because I earned more money and had a geed benefits package. W/ #1, I took 5 mos of maternity leave while DH worked. When I returned to work, he stopped working and cared for dd. It was tough for him in the beginning, but w/in a couple weeks he got the hang of it and really bonded well w/ dd. I had to deal w/ my own issues - the jealousy of him staying home w/ her and experiencing all the "firsts," but I grew up and got over it. My solution? We got a camcorder and he records everything.

Currently, I am on maternity leave after having #2. So any thought of us even putting dd into daycare part time is out the window because it is just too expensive. I am helping DH get adjusted to caring for two.

I exclusively pumped for dd until she was 12 mos. Had to quit because I was producing less milk from being preggo and was just too tired. Now I am EPing for ds and for dd who wanted BM again when ds was born.

Good luck.
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#12 of 13 Old 03-05-2004, 01:32 PM
 
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My dh was a stay at home dad for the first several months of ds's life. Dh really loved it (he is actually the more domestic one of the 2 of us - house was immaculate) and has recently brought up the possibility of homeschooling. So our 5 year debt free plan is getting tweaked so that we can possibly cut back to one income sooner than later.

Anyway I pumped with an occassional visit to bf at lunch time. We have only one car so it got interesting working all that out.

edited to say: Dh reminded me last night that it was almost a year that he was home with Ryne.

My family of 3 (plus pup) Indigo (Aimee), Rob (dp), Ryne (ds) & Phebe (dog), plus my BIL's family of 3.

 
"The best way to predict the future is to invent it." - Alan Kay

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#13 of 13 Old 03-11-2004, 09:27 PM
 
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My boy is only 3 months old, and my DH and I have been contemplating this plan for the fall--that I would work then, and he would quit his job and stay home.

But just today I found out about a job opening that would really be perfect for me...if only it were available in September! It's only a few blocks from my home and would really be ideal career-wise for me.

But alas, I am definitely not ready to leave my babe yet. The longest he's been away from me is when his father takes him to the grocery store...

I hope a job like that will magically re-appear when I am ready to work, like maybe in three years or so...
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