Ever get snubbed..... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-27-2004, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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....by your colleagues or the other people you work with becaus, now that you are a parent, you aren't willing to stay late, go to those "show-your-face" social events or even take on extra job responsibilities?

Since I've decided to totally cut down and work PT, I've definitely been treated differently at work. Sometimes its obvious and sometimes a little more subtle. When I worked FT, I also felt this, since I wasn't willing (and didn't want to) go for drinks after work, stay late at work, or even go to any social events. Now that I am PT, I get mixed reactions. Some of the FT mom's are kind of resentful, I feel. The PT gig is really nice to have. Others (the women without kids) kind of look at me like I've lost my mind for "giving up my career" and basically putting myself out to pasture as far as career advancement. It bums me out a little, considering that I am still young in the field and feel that I have a long way to go. Cutting back, to me, doesn't feel like giving up or even letting go. It just means that for a while I want to focus on my home life a little more than I have when I worked FT and had no kids. Sometimes I feel like I need to wear a sign on my shirt saying just that.

KWIM? Sometimes it just really rankles!!
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#2 of 7 Old 03-01-2004, 02:00 PM
 
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it happens even if you still work FT! try just not being the person to volunteer for everything all the time. or not going to lunch with everyone because you are pumping.

i empathize!

Shannon, mama to Jack :
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#3 of 7 Old 03-01-2004, 02:41 PM
 
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In the military it's awful. The environment here is "take care of your family, take care of your family, take care of your family" but they never give you the time of opportunity to do so.

And let me tell you- for a BF mama, this is an extra tough job. And you have to consider yourself lucky enough to be able to keep breastfeeding for the moment, because 4 months after your baby is born, they can ship you off to deploy anywhere in the world- instant weaning.

I didn't even think about this or realize it until after I had a baby. But the military makes it very hard on mothers.

Thank goodness I can leave the service in just a couple of weeks to be a SAHM, because I can't take much more of this.

Sorry to rant, just very frustrated at my job and my co-workers too.

Crunchy Mama to the Triad of Chaos-- DD1 (9/03) & the Twinadoes- DS and DD2 (6/06)
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#4 of 7 Old 03-01-2004, 02:49 PM
 
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I have been put on the "mommy track" at work.. and I am definitely not treated like I was before the babe..

And it does sting.. BUT.. the fact is I am not interested in doing the stuff I did before. I do put my child first. I wish that didn't make me less valuable in their eyes.. but it clearly does. And I can't protest too much, because it is true. My job doesn't come first anymore.
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#5 of 7 Old 03-02-2004, 10:35 AM
 
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I had to leave my last job when I realized I would have to go back to the long hours (pumping also - not so fun); there was just no end in sight. Once you set a precedent like that, it's hard to reverse - I admire people who can cut back successfully and reinforce their boundaries.

Now I work freelance - still long hours sometimes, but it makes a difference when you can decide how to organize your own time, plus I work at home.

On the flip side, when my sister was single with no kids, she was always the one asked to work evening events so that the people with kids wouldn't have to. Just because she didn't have kids, doesn't mean that she wanted to do that every time. "Getting ahead" in that way wasn't important to her.

I think the core problem is work-life balance, whether you have kids or not. Unfortunately, a lot of jobs don't respect this. Too bad more jobs can't be part-time.

Mom "D" to DD1 "Z" (15) and DD2 "I" (11) DH "M"

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#6 of 7 Old 03-03-2004, 10:47 AM
 
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asherah -- my sentiments exactly. when someone at work asks me what's new, my first instinct is to tell them my baby learned to clap, not my abstract got accepted. And I like it that way!

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#7 of 7 Old 03-17-2004, 05:09 PM
 
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Delighted, I could have written your post today. I went part-time when my dd was born. What also surprises me is that co-workers that I thought were friends (most of my co-workers are childless) are starting to resent me for being part-time. I missed an administration meeting this monday because I had the flu. from what I can gather complaints were made about me being able to work part of my part-time hours from home. my co-workers don't understand why i'm being allowed to do this when my daughter is almost two. So, my boss get's reactionary and tells me he wants me to do ALL of my part-time hours in the office 5 days a week.
Wait, I shouldn't say tell, he has communicated all this info. via email even though there are only 7 of us in the office.
Anyway, between DH and I we've figured a way I can do 4 days in the office, which I will have to do until I find a new job. My boss really needs me so I'm sure it will appease him in the short-term. it's sad, i've spent 7 years at this company, but in the end it's just a job and not worth losing time with my daughter over. if i could afford to quit right now i would.
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