How to tell a prospective daycare you are AP? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 02-27-2010, 08:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been through the DC search before, but I had really good recommendations from friends beforehand, and felt very confident. This time I don't have that pool of people I trust to ask.

This time also, we are going to be looking at home daycare situations. And of course there are probably a million places. I'd love to prescreen by just asking them how they'd be with an AP parent, but I don't know if that question would make sense to anyone.

I guess I should break it down into specific ?s - what are the top 5 do you think - just to get a quick read before I ask them the list of ?s. Like what would be a deal-breaker for you? (This is for care of a 3 yo and 4 mo old) and I feel like I am forgetting something really important...

I'm thinking,
Have you had experience with exclusively breastfeeding babies?
If baby has a difficult time going to sleep, what do you do?
What baby enrichment activities do you provide?
What toddler enrichment activities do you provide?
What are does a typical week of toddler meals and snacks look like?

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#2 of 12 Old 02-27-2010, 10:03 AM
 
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I didn't ask AP questions but rather I told the provider how I wanted my child handled and if that was going to be an issue. So, for instance, my exclusively breastfed toddler had never had cow's milk so I let the provider know what I expected in regards to his feeding. He wouldn't take a nap without being rocked so I let the provider know how we would get him to sleep.

I think some people have never heard the term AP but they might be open to AP ideals or do them anyway. (My parents, aunt, and sisters all used AP methods but had never heard the term until I told them.)

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Missing DS 10/08
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#3 of 12 Old 02-27-2010, 01:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carita View Post
I guess I should break it down into specific ?s - what are the top 5 do you think - just to get a quick read before I ask them the list of ?s. Like what would be a deal-breaker for you? (This is for care of a 3 yo and 4 mo old) and I feel like I am forgetting something really important...

I'm thinking,
Have you had experience with exclusively breastfeeding babies?
that shouldn't matter. If you send the bottles, it doesn't really matter what's in them. You can talk about timing, make sure the dcp knows not to microwave, etc.

If baby has a difficult time going to sleep, what do you do?
Seems ok.

What baby enrichment activities do you provide?
More important, in my view, to make sure that TV or videos aren't in the scene at all.

What toddler enrichment activities do you provide?
She could possibly interpret this as a question about paid extras. You should be able to get a good idea of activities by looking at the environment. See above remark about videos.

What are does a typical week of toddler meals and snacks look like?
Good.
If you cloth diaper and you're set on continuing, you'll have to ask about that.

In the licensed in-home facility that I use, the schedule for a typical day is posted, just as in a center--circle time, large muscle activities (otherwise known as playing in her big beautiful yard), etc.

When dd2 was first at daycare, dcp had a pack and play, so that she could always be watching her. She'd have tummy time outside, sometimes, on a big blanket on the grass. Caregiver nearby, so that if the other littles came over, they could be guided to play appropriately. When she got mobile (early), I'd pick her up sometimes and there would be a selection of toys encircling the blanket, forming a loose barrier.

Once she started walking - 10 months - the blanket thing became moot.

FWIW, I never asked dcp about AP. There are things she does that probably aren't. I'm ok with that because it's a safe, loving environment. I had dd1 with her from 9 mo to 4.5 y (left for a year of pre-k). I expect to have dd2 there for a comparable amount of time.

Mom of two girls.
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#4 of 12 Old 02-27-2010, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Actually - my DCP for DS did have a bit of an adjustment with DS being BFed. He didn't like the bottle so much, and she constantly asked me about introdicing solids. But she was very willing to work with feeding him only a small bit if it I was only 30 min from being there instead of pulling out a 4oz frozen "emergency bottle." Plus I always nursed at the DC facility at drop off and pick-up.

I also knew my state laws and knew that it was not against health code to cloth diaper, and basically didn't give them a choice, I just brought it up to them the week before. That is a good reminder to check my new state's health codes! I am def se ton Cding again - I have all the diapers from DS.

~ Professor Mama to Gabito (July '07) & Danita (April '10) ~
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#5 of 12 Old 02-27-2010, 11:58 PM
 
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I don't know that terminology is important, but what your expectations are and finding a daycare that meets most or all of them. For me, I wanted a DC that provided a loving attentive environment. I found one around the corner. They are a center, not in home, but they have a very down to earth, relaxed attitude. I used to visit my DD for about a half hour every day-so i saw a lot of what went on. If possible do this. It's very easy to put on an act for 5 minutes, not for a longer period of time every day. They were really accepting and open to this and there was another mom who would come in and breastfeed her son, as well. babies were not left to cry-my DD will only fall asleep being held, so this is what they did. Most others were held and rocked as well, some just fell asleep better on their own. the teachers interacted ALOT with the babies and were positive in their approach. Now, there are some things that I am not as happy with-nutrition being one of them, they aren't horrible, just very mainstream. However they are willing to adjust adjust. So far I have only made minor adjustments, but this is due to my DH and I slowly exploring our own eating habits and making changes (its crazy what a baby will change for you). We haven't been ready yet. However I will probably be sending most of her food in very soon. The Daycare views my child as an individual and takes her needs and wants seriously. We went through all of this without any lables or discussing AP. Then one day I'm playing with my DD and the director says, "Have you ever heard of AP parenting? I can see that a lot of what you do with your DD is like that." We had a really nice discussion about this and she was very knowledgeable about it, which showed in "some" of the practices of her program.
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#6 of 12 Old 02-28-2010, 12:13 AM
 
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The DCP might need to know if it is BM or formula in the bottles because sometimes they have stricter rules because BM is a body fluid- I know some places have to store BM separate from Formula. Just wanted to add that, I found this on new posts

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#7 of 12 Old 02-28-2010, 01:36 PM
 
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I confess I haven't dealt much with EBF and DCP - neither of my girls were enthused about the bottle; both wound up reverse cycling.

That said, I think you can over-think the process, particularly with regard to all the finer details of AP.

Mom of two girls.
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#8 of 12 Old 03-02-2010, 12:06 AM
 
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Our daycare does a lot of AP stuff but I sort of doubt they would know the term AP. I think some of your questions are good - especially about particulars. Nearly everyone at our daycare nurses so the DCPs are super familiar with how to handle breast milk. They have the teachers' "lounge" set up with a rocking chair for any moms that want to come and nurse there.

I think the "enrichment" questions might be phrased vaguely enough that they would simply confuse people. I think I would ask about a typical schedule instead.

If they provide food, maybe you can ask to see a menu plan?

I thought your sleep question was fine. But think about what answer you'll be happy with. Our son not only liked us to rock him to sleep, he liked to suck on our fingers while we rocked (blech). The DCPs were confident that they wouldn't need to do that and indeed, they were able to get him to sleep by rubbing his back, which had never worked for us. So, they didn't need to do just what we did and they didn't need to rock him to sleep either, but we were all happy with their method.
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#9 of 12 Old 03-02-2010, 11:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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typical schedule sounds like a good sub for enrichemnt.

And yes - our DC was great with patting them on their back, trying bouncers, swings, all sorts of things - which isn't exactly what I would have done, becuase my solution was to wear DS, but I respect that they can't always do that... I just don't want to hear them say anything related to CIO, ykim?

Thanks - maybe this will be a moot point anyway & I'll figure a way to avoid daycare this time around.

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#10 of 12 Old 03-03-2010, 02:52 PM
 
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Given that one of your children is a bit older, I would definitely ask about discipline policies for preschool aged children and when they expect introduce "discipline" and how they handle toddlers (assuming you think your younger child will be there long term).
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#11 of 12 Old 03-03-2010, 03:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Have you had experience with exclusively breastfeeding babies?
If baby has a difficult time going to sleep, what do you do?
What does a typical days activities look like?
What is on your menu if meals are provided?
If a toddler was doing something s/he shouldn't, what do you do?

I think that discipline ? is great!

~ Professor Mama to Gabito (July '07) & Danita (April '10) ~
A PhD = + +
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#12 of 12 Old 03-05-2010, 02:29 AM
 
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I asked almost exactly those questions and found a great day home! Good luck One of the reasons I picked it was that the older kids were very gentle.
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