Student mammas (and pappas!) -- does your school have any policies in place for student parents? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-07-2010, 11:58 PM
 
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I imagine if you asked around you would probably someone or some service, but it takes time and effort to find it and put it in place. I paid double the usual babysitting rate .

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Old 03-08-2010, 01:19 AM
 
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I was thinking about this post this evening and had an interesting thought.

I think it may be MORE discriminating to allow parents to have additional time off.

Maybe it's a naive assumption from a prof, but I think universities are for more than grades and dimplomas, they are about learning and growing.
I know, when you are in the midst of all the crap that can go on in a university , you just want the diploma, and I GET that.. but I HOPE it's more than that to my students (at least years later, I hope they can see that)


Telling a student "it's OK if you don't do the work and learn as much as the others, you are a Mom" doesn't hurt the other students as much as it stifles the Mom.

But if you need to breastfeed your infant during my lecture and the baby is quiet? I'm all for that!!!
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Old 03-08-2010, 03:56 AM
 
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Maybe it's a naive assumption from a prof, but I think universities are for more than grades and dimplomas, they are about learning and growing.

I know, when you are in the midst of all the crap that can go on in a
Telling a student "it's OK if you don't do the work and learn as much as the others, you are a Mom" doesn't hurt the other students as much as it stifles the Mom.
I'm not sure this was directed at me, but I'll respond anyway. I always did all of my actual work. And never had an extension on anything. I just didn't adhere to the attendance policy. And if I am able to make an A on tests (there was one on every chapter, a midterm and a final plus a term paper) I obviously am gaining the knowledge, learning and therefore growing while still taking care of my kids when they are sick.

Just saying.

Breeder Mama: = wife to an amazing man + mama to J-Bear (07/02) and E-Train (06/08), nanny to Little Bird (07/10).

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Old 03-08-2010, 03:54 PM
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? You think paying double is too much? I thought it was fair.... but I guess really Rain usually just slept on watched videos, so it wasn't really twice as much work... but there was the possibility that my friend might get sick, or have to deal with messy stuff... and I really appreciated her doing it for me.

 
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Old 03-08-2010, 09:43 PM
 
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no, I absolutely think that is fantastic that you can afford to do that.

I also think your statements are very judgemental of others, but I was not really in the mood for articulation, hense Mr

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Old 03-09-2010, 12:25 PM
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no, I absolutely think that is fantastic that you can afford to do that.
I was living on welfare at the time, so being able to afford it is relative.... but it was important to me, so I found the money to do it.

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I also think your statements are very judgemental of others, but I was not really in the mood for articulation, hense Mr
Well... I shared my priorities and what I had done, and others can make whatever choices work for them. It did take a lot of time to set up some years - going up to people after class, phone calls to childcare referral lines, introducing people to my daughter, getting their schedules.... really, a lot. It didn`t sound like some of the other posters had done this kind of legwork, and I do think it`s unreasonable to expect sick child care arrangements to be easy to find.

Perhaps some people aren`t comfortable having a sick child in someone else`s care, too... and really, some people may prefer to just skip class and deal with the fallout. I only know what worked for me.

 
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Old 03-09-2010, 12:57 PM
 
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.

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Old 03-09-2010, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Perhaps some people aren`t comfortable having a sick child in someone else`s care, too... and really, some people may prefer to just skip class and deal with the fallout. I only know what worked for me.
I definitely fall under the "just skip class and deal with the fallout" category. If she were so sick that she couldn't even function in her regular daily activities I would keep her home with me -- no question.

My school has absolutely none of the leeways mentioned above so a sudden illness or injury (to either of us) could ultimately put a sudden end to my schooling.

If something such as this should happen, I'll just go straight to the department head (broken baby in tow) and see what kind of plan we can come up with to help me successfully get through the quarter. Otherwise it's on to plan B.

I could blow it with this school, have a messy home and end up back at the foodbank *cringe -- all with zero regret. However, I could not put anything, including school, before her as that is something I would have to live with forever.

There are other, slower ways I could pursue my education. I'm just going to keep working my butt off, continuing to do well at school and hope to have a very uneventful next two years!
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Old 03-09-2010, 08:09 PM
 
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And all of the chairpersons in my school would have ordered you the hell home with pneumonia. Do you know how quickly that could have spread around campus??? How many more people you could have gotten sick, causing more people to miss class? Pneumonia?!?

Seriously.

You would have been ordered home and another faculty person here would have had to have covered the class. Yup.

It's happened at least twice a year that a sick faculty person has been ordered home by my boss.
Nope you are right. I was (mis)diagnosed with bronchitous(sp?) and told I was not contagious. I was having to sit and rest twice on the walk from the parking lot... lectured sitting down!! Had to rest in the car to get the energy to drive home

After three such classes, I demanded a second opinion.

But you are correct.. lecturing knowing you HAVE pnemonia? Bad idea!
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Old 03-09-2010, 09:09 PM
 
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no, I absolutely think that is fantastic that you can afford to do that.

I also think your statements are very judgemental of others, but I was not really in the mood for articulation, hense Mr
If you can't pay double, but you want to be able to go to class then you might consider looking into placing an add for an occasional babysitter at your universities career center with the amount you are willing to pay. As long as my dd is not too sick I don't mind having someone else watch Dora with her. It is also nice to have someone lined up when you want to study for a big test without being interrupted. I have had some classes that I couldn't afford to miss at all because of the content covered or the teacher's strict adherence to university policies. I am not sure what level of your education you are at, but typically as you go higher up the class material gets harder and the teachers are stricter about attendance.
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Old 08-29-2011, 08:02 AM
 
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I'm a nurse, and there were absolutely no special policies in place for students who were parents when I was in school. Why should there be? They are not responsible for whether you have a child or not; that's your responsibility. Where would that stop? You could miss two days, per child, per semester? People with more kids get more missed days? What about people caring for adult parents? People who are single, with no children, should be the only ones required to have perfect attendance?

Sorry, I don't agree with your statement. I truly believe that as a society, some of us have the children (who will actually be paying for our retirement), while others don't want to have them or will have them before or after they go to school. I also believe that women are often penalized because they are left with the bulk of the guilt, let alone the bulk of the work. I am glad to live in a society where I see more and more men sharing parenthood responsibilities, but there is a lot of work to be done still. Parenthood cannot be seen as punishment or punishable - the whole society is responsible, and that does not mean special privileges, but policies that don't penalize parents over non-parent students. Special policies are needed to level the playing field and this is what equity means, looking at special circumstances and being fair with everyone.

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Old 08-31-2011, 08:51 PM
 
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I can see both sides of this...

 

My school I don't think had any policies, but, when it came down to it most of my professors were really cool about letting my miss class or make things up as long as I had good communication with them...I turned in documentation whenever possible also and I did try and use plan B or C when possible...that said, I went to a relatively small school and I was in one of the smallest departments on campus so I knew all my professors really well (I was pregnant with my first during my first semester and had another child as well before I graduated).

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