How much time do you take for yourself? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: How much time do you get to yourself?
0-4 hrs per week 28 71.79%
4-8 hrs per week 8 20.51%
8-16 hrs per week 3 7.69%
16+ hrs per week 0 0%
Voters: 39. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-06-2004, 02:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just curious, IDSO time to do some sewing and crafts but after being away from dd all week during the day I feel terribly guilty for every minute I spend away from her in the evenings and on the weekends.

Oh and you don't get to count time that you are sleeping or doing errands, just pure selfish time to do anything you want.
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Old 03-06-2004, 02:36 AM
 
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This should be interesting to see what everyone posts in with. For me I am lucky to get between 0-4 hours per week. I have a home based business as a Master Herbalist so when I get spare time I usually spend it in my studio. I work out of the home for 20 hour a week and child care swap about 20 hours a week. Soooo that doesn't leave much time although lately I have been getting up at 5:30 to go to the gym before dh goes to work. I usually can get to the gym for a swim and steam about 3 days a week so thats where the hours for me are right now. I walk to work and listen to my mp3 player and I also consider that to be luxury.:LOL
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Old 03-06-2004, 05:01 PM
 
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Honestly, I can't even get DH to watch Ian for the odd 20 minute interval I want to hop on the treadmill, I don't get any time to myself.

Right now my schedule's such a nightmare that I'm somewhat sympathetic but that doesn't change the fact that DH still goes out gaming every Thursday night. What a lovely luxury, I sure wish I had an entire evening to myself! : He, however, seems to think my commuting time is time for me. Right. Doing schoolwork on the bus or train is so enriching.

I'm hoping to take an exercise class or something after I graduate in May. With school out of the way that will open up a little time to breathe in my life and gosh darn it! I want to get active again! :LOL
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Old 03-07-2004, 05:34 PM
 
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I posted 0-4 too. I feel that my time at work with adults is all I get. I've been out with friends without DD once-DD is 27 mos old. Otherwise every waking and sleeping moment I am not working is with her except for when I can sneak away when she is asleep.
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Old 03-07-2004, 11:24 PM
 
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RNapmomma, I love that: "getting crunchier mama"

I picked 0-4. But if you counted MDC time it would be more. I go out one evening a week, after the kids are in bed & usually the kitchen cleaned, to get some exercise with my friends. Sometimes we just yak for a few hours instead.

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Old 03-08-2004, 01:22 AM
 
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You know I was the only person that answered 8 or more hours to myself. But then I thought about it. I dont really have 8 hours to "myself" so to speak. I have 8 or more hours without baby - but that is much to my shagrin.

For example, is going to school (college) time to myself, or to my p/t job on Tuesdays? Also what about the 4 hours that I have between class and when babe'es daycare ends on Fridays that I use to clean and organize the house or work from home? Nope I am recategorizing my answer to 0-4 hours.
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Old 03-08-2004, 01:36 AM
 
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The only time I have away is to do schoolwork. I usually get a couple of hours to do my work, but that is not enough to finish. DH has been much better lately. He has taken her on a few walks so I could work, which has been great.

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wife to Ben
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Old 03-08-2004, 01:39 AM
 
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T


June'smom, I've been wondering how you're getting on. Sounds like things are a bit better.

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Old 03-08-2004, 01:54 AM
 
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Dh is SAHD at the moment. My work involves 4 12hr shifts at a desk...then I'm off for four days. On my days off, I ALWAYS take 40 mins to go running or hiking with my dogs. I need this time to MYSELF...no demands from ANYONE. Just time for me. Then, I usually also have a night out/wk with my girlfriends. So, I put in between 4-16 hrs....my night out though, I don't leave til the kids are sleeping. So dh has a nice quiet evening as well. He also gets lots of down time. It works for us.


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Old 03-08-2004, 04:48 PM
 
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I take yoga twice a week, so two hours there. That's it on a regular basis, though I have been shopping "with the girls" a couple of times.
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Old 03-08-2004, 04:56 PM
 
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Does sleeping count? :LOL (I wrote this before I read all the posts.)

edited to add: I make a point of going OUTSIDE the home to knit for between two and five hours every Sunday. (This is a recent thing, btw.)

Anyone in NY who wants to join me...I go to a new cafe, called Knit, at 307 East 14th Street, just east of 2nd Avenue. I bring my own mug, 'cause I hate drinking out of paper cups. But, otherwise, it is great. Nice space, good lighting, knowledgable people on the staff, interesting selection of yarns, good pattern books for sale, good food.

Neither of us have much of any time to ourselves. It has got to change.
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Old 03-08-2004, 07:59 PM
 
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0 - 4 here, too.

I told my DH the other day that you know that it's bad when the grocery store is the highlight of your week. I go to our local whole-foodsy-gourmet-make-their-own-bread grocery about once every two weeks (with DS ). I know how to live, don't I?

Actually, about 3 nights a week, I take about 30 minutes to read or write in my journal when it's DH's turn to put our son down for night-night. Does that count?

All this free time will end in about 8 weeks when #2 makes his/her appearance.
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Old 03-08-2004, 08:23 PM
 
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I'm in a phase where I am on the left end of 0-4. I usually cannot finish a shower without dd waking. And I have recently finished a shower, put on lotion, dressed and discovered when I remove the hair towel that I forgot to rinse out my conditioner. :

In fact, yesterday (Sunday), I was making homemade bread, burritos and fettucini all at the same time (for eating later) and dh had the nerve to call (from the kitchen rocking chair) "Come in here, she's angry." I ignored him, pretending I could not hear him,finished up my work, and then went in and nursed her. Grrr...

My dh works 50-60 hours/week in a factory. I feel guilty enough about that, knowing how much he hates it, that I just could not ask for time regularly. I know it's wrong...

I feel owned by everyone but me. At home, it's a constant struggle to keep them fed healthful food, keep the diapers washed and put away, keep the toys from tripping us. At work, it's a struggle to put enough hours in, even if the hours I work are extraordinarily productive. And I am always in one place or the other. And my MDC time, even though I grab it 10minutes at a time, is a guilty pleasure.
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Old 03-09-2004, 02:41 PM
 
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Let's see..
I take a Yoga class twice a week.. and I go to the gym right after work twice a week. I see a therapist once a week.. I know it is weird to count that.. but it is very good for me. I do an occasional dinner or girls night out... but not every week. So I guess I get about five hours a week in general. And I do not feel the LEAST bit guilty about it. I need it or I would go insane.

Does alone time with DH count? We go to church on Sunday and take classes after and leave DS in the childcare there.. and we also go Wednesday night.. and the church offers a once a month parent's night out. So we get about six hours a week together.. which we also need. And that's the only time DS is not with one of us.

Though I am getting ready to put him in this great pre-school three mornings a week starting mid-summer. But that will give DH more time, not me.. as I already work mornings.
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Old 03-09-2004, 02:55 PM
 
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I'm in the 4-8 category because I get up nearly as early on weekends as I do the rest of the week. 5 days a week, I'm up at 5:00 and out of the house by 6:15. On weekends, my day generally begins around 6 or 6:30 while DP and DD sleep until at least 9...sometimes 10. If DD happens to stir and I catch her in time, I'll crawl back in bed and nurse her back to sleep.

I'm able to get so much done during those early hours, and it's the only "me time" I get during the week. I get to enjoy my coffee and read, scrapbook, or get caught up on bills. I should exercise during that time, but I prefer to wake up first.
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Old 03-09-2004, 04:14 PM
 
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If the 10 minutes I spend on the way to work in the morning is time for myself, then I have 50 minutes a week, and maybe 1-2 times a month I get a half an hour to myself before dh carries the babe in to nurse.

We do a split shift, and I'm *really* dying for some downtime. Especially after a particularly stressful day at work.
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Old 03-09-2004, 09:45 PM
 
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I was hoping everyone else was doing better than me! I am in a singing group that meets once a week in the evening. Other than that, there are sporadic things I do that don't come around often enough! A book disscussion group (about every 6 weeks), and a women's group that used to meet monthly and is now down to "seasonally."

What I am lacking is more routine daily time to self--like journaling, baths, etc. I am run ragged most of the time.

 
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Old 03-10-2004, 03:30 PM
 
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I put "0-4".

I actually consider "work" to be some "me time". Here, I'm not rushed, I can go get a cup of tea when I want to, go to the bathroom when I want to...I even surf MDC while I'm nibbling on my lunch.

Evenings I do have "me" time when DD goes to bed. Last night I finally got to go through some videotapes and categorize them. Not exactly something "fun" for me, but something I wanted to do. Mind you, being pregnant I'm more often than not falling asleep with her, so goodbye "me time", lol. On weekend mornings, I use that time to clean the house. Sad to say, that's really the only time I have 1 or 2 hours uninterrupted.

I don't have any hobbies. I don't ride horses anymore (waaaay too time-consuming). I don't even take yoga classes. I give DH a break every Sunday afternoon - I take DD and we go out somewhere together. He is with her all day and then cooks dinner when I get home from work. It could be argued that we both work during the day, but I know from experience how hard it is being with a toddler, so I don't begrudge him some time alone. Besides, DD gets so clingy when I'm home, I couldn't bear to leave her when I do that every morning, kwim?

Anyways, I know this sounds pathetic but I really don't mind. I love my job and am always happy to get to work. And you know what? This is such a short phase of my life. In a few short years my kids will be developing their own lives and I will have time to do those things again.

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Old 03-10-2004, 05:05 PM
 
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I put 0-4 too, although at first I had a little difficulty figuring out whether I considered work time to be "me" time...I decided I didn't.

I sing in a choir that meets for 2 hours a week (except during concert week, when it gets a little more intense)--that is my main outlet. I also go to church most Sundays and have somewhere in the range of an hour (although often one or both kids comes in to the service with me, or I'm down in the nursery hanging out with them)...evenings are anyone's guess--usually the kids are asleep by 9, so I might get an hour or so to myself. But I stay up too late as it is, and really should go to bed earlier (if I could just get dd#1 to go to sleep in her own bed, so I wouldn't have to move her later on, this might be accomplished! But I digress...)

Back to the choir--for this next concert, DH will be singing with me, and we've arranged for a babysitter to stay with our kids at the church where we rehearse, so maybe we'll start trying to have dinner out before rehearsal and turn it into a family outing...

Mia
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Old 03-13-2004, 05:56 PM
 
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I've got an hour lunch break and about another hour after classes before I have to rush off to the sitters.
I eat up every minute of it.

...laying on the grass, watching the clouds go by, eating chips n soda (give me a break, the nearest food co-op is 2 hours away),
chattin with a few peers...
aaahhhh
i cant wait till monday..lol.

I spent the first 5 years of my sons life eating organic, bfing, cloth diapering,attachment parenting, etc etc...probably spent a total of 48 hours away from him in 5 years.
Then I had the second one....lol....she got a bottle in the daylight hours from day one so she wouldn't freak out by a schedule change when she started daycare. I started college...got too broke for organic..although I am starting a garden this year..put the cloth diapers wayyyy in the back of the closet...
and after the initial seperation anxiety (more on my part than the babies)...I found out that listening to professors with no one tugging on my shirt is actually kind of relaxing
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Old 03-18-2004, 03:00 AM
 
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Ashamed to admit... 0-4!

Fortunately, my job is very low-key with a lot of down time. I have more time at work than I do at home to read, pay bills, surf the web, play cheezy computer games, etc.

At home I spend a lot of time sorting clothes, cleaning, organizing all our junk. I try to convince myself that this is also "me time" because sometimes I enjoy it. But it's really not the kind of me time I should be giving myself.

(what a depressing thread...! JK)

Kate
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Old 03-18-2004, 01:36 PM
 
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Usually 4-8 but occasionally 8-16. I get a couple hours each night after dh leaves for work and before I crash. I use this time to read or bubble bath or vegg in front of the TV. It is my down time before I get to sleep. Although lately ds is getting up earlier and earlier so I have to go to bed earlier and earlier.

But dh is good at watching ds for runs to the library or workshops or whatever and we try to have a couple dates a month which I count toward my time because it is so special to me - we work opposite shifts and can go days with only 30 mins of face to face time - especially in rugby and softball season.

My family of 3 (plus pup) Indigo (Aimee), Rob (dp), Ryne (ds) & Phebe (dog), plus my BIL's family of 3.

 
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