did I react to/handle this reasonably? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 12:04 AM - Thread Starter
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So this week was my 3yo dd's first experience at preschool. I live a in smallish town, am a solo parent and my mother has always watched her while I work 3 to 5 days/wk. I've been sensing my dd needs more interaction w/other kids so I picked what I perceived to be the best program for her. I was really excited for her and now I'm second guessing myself after two whole days.

I arrived to pick her up today and the teacher informs me she had a poop accident. Ok, fine. I expected an accident even though she's been potty learned for 8mos or so. We leave and stop by the grocery store where I discover that she is covered in dried feces from front to back inside clean underwear she was changed into. As in was not wiped/cleaned at ALL after the accident. I was so upset I was shaking so after cleaning her up, drove back to the preschool and spoke to the asst director. I was really polite about it, said it was not acceptable, my dd deserves dignity etc-she agreed and said she would speak to the teacher. I am still mad several hrs later and need to take her there tomorrow! What would you do if this happened?
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#2 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 12:08 AM
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I cannot immagine how I would react to something like this! How awfull! I believe that you handled yourself better than I would have been able to. I admire your self-restraint and you ability to be polite.

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#3 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 01:45 AM
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Is it possible she had a 2nd accident that the teachers weren't aware of?
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#4 of 7 Old 06-04-2010, 03:51 PM
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I work for an MDO program and last year I had the 3 year olds.

One day, one of the moms pointed out to me that her dd had poop in her panties. I had no idea! I had just sent the young girl to the restroom (we didn't have a bathroom in our room, so I had watched her walk down the hall to the 4 year old room). What ended up happening is that the young girl pooped and the 4 year old teacher either simply didn't help her clean up or didn't know she needed assistance (I always helped them), so the girl didn't wipe herself and had lots of poop still in her panties.

I would speak with the teacher as well (and it may be a totally innocent thing on her part) and just check to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I do think you were reasonable.

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#5 of 7 Old 06-05-2010, 02:03 AM
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Yes, I think you behaved reasonably. My first assumption, though, is that she had a second accident, not that they didn't clean her after the first.
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#6 of 7 Old 06-08-2010, 09:21 PM - Thread Starter
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It did not seem like a second accident, but perhaps it was. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt--I could have been a much bigger B considering what condition she was in.

Well to add onto all that, I show up yesterday and notice her eye is watery and a little bumpon the brow. DD tells me a big kid threw a rock (there is a pebble base on their playground) and hit her. Also had to bring this to the teacher and asst director's attention as they were mixing 3 yo with what looked like 5 to 6 yos. Today her eyeball looks ok, but she has a bruise on her browline. I am about done w/ preschool for my AP kiddo. She might be back to grandma's next week if anything else happens. Any thoughts on how I get my enrollment and tuition money refunded?
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#7 of 7 Old 06-08-2010, 11:00 PM
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no help on the refund matter, but if you want socialization, are there mommy and me sorts of activities you could do on the weekend with other kiddos, or during the week that grandma could take her to?

Or get rec's for a different sort of care (maybe a part day pre-school?)

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