How much paid time off do you get? Your significant other? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 68 Old 07-23-2010, 10:02 PM - Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Ellien C View Post
I got 8 weeks paid maternity leave and took 4 weeks unpaid. After I went back to work, DH also took 8 weeks under FMLA (using all 3 vacation weeks and the remainder unpaid). Not a popular thing for him to do, but neither of us care. It's a sacrifice to the family. Actually he said people were more supportive once he did it than he expected.

We both have careers, but they are somewhat "lesser" careers than we might have had without children. We're both happy with this arrangement but we definitely worked more hours when we were young and child-less.

With a baby at a Jewish day care it is NOT enough. It's an orthodox day care and they are off a LOT of days and those days don't follow the regular calendar. When school is closed (Spring Break, Winter holidays) there are often camps available. Not so much for Sukkhot! I'm hoping to hire some care givers at our day care for the days when they are closed. (I have new born and a second grader).
Gosh, so many good points to respond to:

1) Yes, my kid doesn't go to a Jewish daycare (side note, we have a Jewish family in our class and their older children go to the Jewish school in town and everything I've heard is wonderful so I would send my son there if we could), but it is a specialty daycare, which really is pretty great in many ways, and they have many more closures and in-service days for their professional staff. Every staff member has at least a bachelor's degree so they are treated very well and very professional because that is what they are. So, they do get time off. But then the teachers really seem to love their jobs at the school, and it pays off. Makes it hard to schedule around work. I could send my kid to a national chain daycare which would have less shutdowns, but with his special needs, and, well, just because, we like this school because of the personal attention and the totally awesome curriculum. But it definitely makes things more difficult.

2) I totally relate to what you said about having a lesser career because you have children. I know this has happened to me. I make less than some of my peers from 10 years ago. For instance, ten years ago I worked in an office of mostly men. I was the only female on staff other than the office manager. I keep in touch with all those staff (wonderful people) and all the men are managers or administrators now making big bucks with hectic schedules and lots of responsibilities. Not that it's easy for them because they are men. One of them told me he'd been warned by his doctor that his blood pressure was too high and he was risking his health with all the stress from work. I wouldn't want that! But for me, it would be impossible to have my little boy AND that sort of career.

So my career has taken a side turn. I make a little less than I should, probably. I am not quite full time. I should probably be a little further along in terms of project management, etc. Ah well. Life is full of choices.

Nothing has changed at all with DH's career. It's like we're still DINKs.

3) I think it's great that both you and your husband took maternity / paternity leave, one after the other. Many of my friends did that. At least 3 of my very good friends took either 3 or 6 months unpaid leave and then their husbands took either 3 or 6 months unpaid leave.

I took 9 months unpaid leave mostly. I used up my sick leave and a week or so of vacation plus I got some disability so I think about 8 months was unpaid basically.

Then DH and I just couldn't come to terms about how we'd balance two careers and I was still breastfeeding. DH didn't support me resigning at all, but he changed nothing about his work habits during my maternity leave so at the end of it I swallowed a big gulp of courage and ignored the major self-doubt I felt and resigned.

I stayed at home for 2 years until I was done breastfeeding and then I started interviewing and got the first job I applied for - where I'm at now - and I'm pretty happy there, just frazzled and tired.

Again, though, I have to say how very lucky I am. I get a lot of paid leave, really good benefits, fairly decent pay, although lower than the average for my field, and my boss is one of the smartest and most inspiring people I've ever met. That's a treat. So, even though I have to leave my sweet child in daycare, I still enjoy most of my time at work and I have learned a great deal from my boss. It's a stressful job, though, and a little beyond what I can do as a mother with other commitments so that's where the stress comes in.
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#62 of 68 Old 07-24-2010, 12:25 AM
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I'm a school teacher so I get about a month off at Christmas time, and about 2 months for the summer holiday plus a spring and fall break that work out to about 1 and half weeks. Plus I teach in Latin America so there tend to be a lot of one day holidays.

I get up to one week personal, emergency or sick leave, to be used as I need.

I am pretty sure this is a lot more than most Americans, even the teachers.

DH works for himself so he gets as much as he wants to take. Usually we try to have three or four weeks around Christmas and about 5 or 6 weeks during the summer.

We are very blessed.

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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#63 of 68 Old 07-24-2010, 12:58 PM
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I work PT (just switched from per diem). New employees get 2 weeks paid vacation, and it goes up to 3 wks after 4 yrs of service. No personal days until after 5 yrs. I also accrue sick time separately, and it works out to about 36 hrs of sick time per year for a part-timer, and about 72 hrs if I were FT. The catch is, even though I work in health care and am NEVER supposed to come in while sick, they write up employees who have more than 3 distinct "incidents" of calling in sick. So much for never working while sick.

DH works for a very small business, where he has worked for 15 years. He gets 2 weeks vacation, one week of sick days, and one week of personal days.

My mom watches the kids while I work, which is nice since she can still watch them even if they're sick. Usually it works out that I'm not scheduled to work anyway (I only work 1 to 2 12-hour shifts, most weeks). If one of them is REALLY ill, DH or I will stay home with them. If we're both scheduled to work, he will usually be the one to stay home, since I make more money per hour than he does. Plus, he doesn't get paid for his vacation/sick time if he doesn't use it, since the business he works for is always too broke to pay out for it when it rolls over. So we try to use up ALL of his PTO every year.

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#64 of 68 Old 07-24-2010, 07:29 PM
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I get 2 weeks of vacation per year and almost the same for sick. Though my work schedule is flexible I can take time off as needed for Dr appts. DH works PT and gets no benefits. Dr/ dentist appts are all scheduled for one of our times off.
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#65 of 68 Old 07-25-2010, 01:35 PM
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DH gets 3 weeks PTO with his new job, plus he can take off any time he wants for pretty much any reason (he works with a bunch of ultra laid-back hippies ). He gets health benefits and they are definitely sufficient.

My friend is a teacher and is taking 7 months off (paid) to be with her babies, then she'll be back in school for 2 months and then off for the summer. When she goes back to teaching, she'll be off by 2pm. Her twin girls will be nearly a year old before they have any sort of outside care, which is awesome. She is also able to take time off for her dr. appts without a lot of hassle. To me, that seems like a SWEET arrangement. She worked very, very hard to get that kind of autonomy at her school. Her husband will be taking his entire FMLA allotment (which his company pays for) then will quit work to be with his baby girls and do freelance work. I REALLY admire how they've worked so hard to make this happen- it really seems like a perfect situation for them.

When I was pregnant, I was able to take 3 months off (paid) then when I couldn't go back my employer let me take unemployment. So I got a total of 11 months off paid before going back to work as a contractor in a "ROWE" work environment. It was ideal and I will never go back to a "traditional" work environment.

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#66 of 68 Old 07-25-2010, 01:48 PM
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I work at a state university as an appointed personnel (benefits for classified staff differ). I get 22 days vacation, 10 sick days, 10 holidays, and the period from Christmas to New Years off. The vacation days can accumulate up to 1.5 times your annual allotment at the new year (ie, you can carry more than that amount prior to the new year) and sick accumulates indefinitely. I do not get paid maternity leave unless I have short term disability or I use sick/vacation time.

DH works as a public school teacher. He gets 5 personal days (that don't roll over), 10 sick days (that accumulate indefinitely), and 10 weeks summer, 2 weeks winter, and one week each in the fall/spring. He used to get many more sick days, but those have recently been cut.

We definitely have enough time between the two of us, although, I've gone down to half time during each of my three maternity leaves...but the reduced income works for us. My three kids have all been spring/summer babes, so DH is off during my maternity leave.
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#67 of 68 Old 07-25-2010, 05:10 PM
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No paid time off for either of us...

Dh owns his own practice - if he's not there he's not earning but his staff still needs to get paid. So getting him to take a vacation is tough, but asking him to take time for a sick kid just doesn't happen.

I work part time, no benefits at all. I do take 5 weeks off each year (a spring vacation and the entire month of July) so I'm not complaining! It's just not paid time off.
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#68 of 68 Old 07-26-2010, 11:40 AM
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I get 3 weeks PTO in addition to the normal major holidays. That is fairly normal for a small business from what I have seen, though since I have been working there a long time, I am considering asking for another week on my 10th anniversary. We can also take unpaid time off as needed, just have to coordinate with my boss, and he is very understanding, he just wants the work to get done. And I can also work from home as needed too, so that helps with not having to take PTO for things like waiting around at the house for a plumber and whatnot. Oh and occasionally our boss tells us all to go home early, like before a holiday or if we had a rough week and so on.

My DH works for a big corporation and gets all holidays off (think anytime banks or government offices close), gets 4 weeks vacation, maybe 1 week of personal days (not exactly sure on the amount), gets comped personal days if he works a lot one week and "unlimited" sick days. He also has to deal with being on call about half the time. I think his vacation is better than average.

Katie trekkie.gif - Married to Mike 06/02/01, Mom to Sydney Anne born 11/21/09 and Alice Maeryn & Oliver Thomas born 04/24/13  hug.gif 



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