my daughter prefers her dad. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 08-03-2010, 11:08 PM - Thread Starter
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He stays at home with her and I work full time outside of the home. We had always planned for this to happen, and I am grateful to have him- he is an amazing father, and I love seeing the bond that they have, love knowing that she has a positive and strong male presence in her life and that (should she be inclined toward men) she will have an excellent example of a healthy one who treats her (and me) well. But it is really, really bothering me how she has started (more and more) turning to him when she has something to say, when she hurts her knee, when she wants to give someone a kiss, when she wants a lap to sit in. That used to be me! I try to spend every second we are together doing fun stuff, or quality time stuff- I cook our evening meal, play games with her, read her bedtime stories, give her baths, tuck her in and often sleep with her, and I spend as much weekend time with her as possible. But I only get two (sometimes three) hours with her during the week and I think I am really starting to notice a difference in the level of affection she shows us. What else can I do?

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#2 of 3 Old 08-04-2010, 12:02 AM
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well i can kinda relate. My hubby and i had to live with his parents until our daughter was 2 1/2...during that time she decided she liked grandpa more than mommy or hurt me tremendously and grandpa soaked it up and was no help to us. I just had to deal with it until we were able to be on our own. She still likes him a lot but he is now # 4 on her list..It goes, me, hubby, my father(who she sees twice a month) and my hubbies father....Now u see my father was once her very least fav. it was so sad to see. but every time we went over their they did these special little rituals that i would not ever do with her...For example, my dad takes her to the store to pick our her fav candy, she gets one cookie every morning with him, he takes her on special walks with no-one point is, he does this over and above special things. I think back and that is what he used to do with me.

So think...what was it that made u feel like u had that individual special bond with one of ur parents. I;m not saying to outdo hubby. I;m just saying set urself apart...Try to let hubby do the disciplining too...Get him on board, tell him how u feel...I do the disciplining when hubby first gets home because he works long hours and he felt left the last thing he wanted to do was sit her in time out for something she did...i really hope this helps. I know this can be sooo hard...I've been there..HUGS!


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#3 of 3 Old 08-05-2010, 04:35 PM
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And don't get too discouraged, even if you were the SAHP and he was the WOHP, it might still be happening. Kids tend to go through phases where they prefer one parent to the other and then switch to the other parent later. I know I had times growing up where I preferred my Dad, even though my Mom was a SAHM. Do you get some time when it is just you and her alone with Dad out of the house? That might help her to realize that you can comfort her too, just in a different way than Dad and Dad might appreciate being sent out to do something kid-free for an hour or two once a week or whatever

Katie trekkie.gif - Married to Mike 06/02/01, Mom to Sydney Anne born 11/21/09 and Alice Maeryn & Oliver Thomas born 04/24/13  hug.gif 



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