daughter needs to be held at day care--help! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-17-2004, 02:24 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm beside myself. DD, 7 mos., has been in full-time day care since 4 and a half months and had an amazing adjustment. Still, it has been very hard on me and this new problem is just breaking my heart. Apparently, since she came back from being out for 5 days with illness and then normal weekend, she can't be put down. She screams and cries so badly she wakes up all the other babies and people come running from other rooms b/c it is so loud and sad sounding. As long as she as held, she is fine, her usual smiley, talkative self.

My ap instincts tell me that she is going through something and just needs to be held. At home we sling, cosleep, but she doesn't have this problem and can be left to play, etc. for short periods, like any 7 mo. yr. old. She can't sleep at night wihtout me there though and a fair amount of nursing.

I can't quit my job--I'm the main breadwinner and dh can't quit his job right now either. I really like the caregivers and they are being very patient but I'm worried that some version of letting her cry s coming.

I feel very vulnerable and sad about this and would appreciate any posts with advice but pls. no flames.
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#2 of 7 Old 03-17-2004, 04:10 PM
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I'm sorry your daughter is having such a hard time after being sick. If your mommy instinct tells you that she is just re-adjusting, then I think you're probably right!

What helped me when my DCP mentioned CIO was to tell her that we were working through some sleep issues using the No-cry sleep solution, and I offered to let her borrow the book. I told her I was concerned that if DS was to CIO at day care, it would mess up what we were working for with night-time sleep; and also he wouldn't have consistency with it since I would NOT do it at home. She was supportive after I explained my feelings.

I hope that your daughter is feeling better soon!
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#3 of 7 Old 03-17-2004, 04:14 PM
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I never thought of this when ds1 was younger and in daycare, but could you possibly bring in a sling for them to try?
I mean, if they have to hold her anyhow, they might really appreciate the sling....
I don't know that ds's daycare would have gone for this, but then again they thought I was really weird :


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#4 of 7 Old 03-17-2004, 04:34 PM
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That's tough...I'm sorry you are going through this. I would try to just be as up front (in a non-confrontational way) with the dcp's. If one of my kids is seeming a little more needy at some time or other, I just say to the teachers "she might need some more snuggles today." I even talked to my older one about asking her teachers for a hug if she was feeling sad or missing me (she was 3 when going through this stage; obviously, I know that wouldn't work for you with a 7 mo...)

Also, if there is one dcp that you "bond" with more, maybe try to garner his/her support--one of my younger daughter's caregivers and I were pg together, and our girls were born a week apart (we even went back to work on the same day--me to my office, and her to the dcc--we cried together--it was quite funny...but I digress). We did a lot of things alike (not everything), so I would often try to enlist her support for extra attention that my dd needed, and she was good about offering it.

Good luck!

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#5 of 7 Old 03-17-2004, 09:27 PM
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The lady that I had watch my kids when I worked out of the home now has one of my slings....I think it is worth a shot asking them if they would be willing to try it out. Go in early one day so you can show them how to use it.

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#6 of 7 Old 03-23-2004, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
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thanks for your responses. It is getting better-she was teething. Sadly, they won't/can't use slings but they hold as much as they can, and she's definitely having a better week.
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#7 of 7 Old 03-24-2004, 03:31 PM
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If you like the place where she is remeber this... they probably will not allow her to cry it out. If one baby cries, it sometimes sets off a chain reaction causing many of the other babies to cry. The quicker they stop her from crying (i.e. hold her) the less likely that everyone will end up crying! And you can bet they don't want all the babies upset. CIO really just isn't a prctical option at a daycare center. I'll bet they don't let her cry, unless they just need a minute to finish up with another baby before they get to her.
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