Do you ever unplug? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 12-15-2010, 11:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DD had a Christmas program & lunch at daycare today. The whole thing lasted an hour. I noticed while we were there that most of the parents were on their smartphones the entire time. They didn't even stop to look up while the kids were singing. Even during the meal, they were texting, checking email, etc. Are you that way? Do you ever unplug? I have a very email-heavy job, but I try hard to tune in to the kids when I'm with them.


It's us: DH , DS ; DD ; and me . Also there's the . And the 3 . I . Oh, and .
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#2 of 10 Old 12-15-2010, 01:50 PM
 
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I am in the industry side of show biz, so yes very email heavy job.  But I've made it pretty clear to folk that I don't do email on weekends.  If you need me you've gotta call and it BEST be important.  I try to give what I am doing my attention.  Yes, I may check once or twice while at knitting group, but family meals (even out) are not phone times.  If I am at the park, I want to breathe and run and take pictures not chat with co-workers.  So I am completely with you. I do my best to give the kiddo & hubby the attention I can when I am home because between work & school I might see them an hour or two a day and need to shut off as much as they me need to give them my attention.


My family of 3 (plus pup) Indigo (Aimee), Rob (dp), Ryne (ds) & Phebe (dog), plus my BIL's family of 3.

 
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#3 of 10 Old 12-16-2010, 08:36 AM
 
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I do, but if there were a noon event on a weekday, I would have to be checking my mail etc.  Because it is still the weekday, and adding in driving time, I'd be gone way longer than for a lunch.


~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#4 of 10 Old 12-16-2010, 10:51 AM
 
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It really all depends on what is going on that day.  My clients are business people and they expect me to be available during the work day.  In a situation that you describe, OP, I would probably check the e-mails but not respond until after the program unless it is a huge, pressing emergency.

 

I do completely unplug at a certain time in the evening, however.  Most communications that I get then are random afterthoughts that can be dealt with the next day.  Occassionally I check my work mail during the weekend because my boss sometimes has questions about stuff he's working on. 

 

All that aside, I just think many people in general (whether they WOH or not) are addicted to their PCDs.  I think it has less to do with the urgency of things and more to do with a constant need to be connected.  My DH made an interesting observation the other day:  he said that PCDs have replaced cigarettes in our culture as a nervous habit.  I think there may be some truth to that!


"Lawyers, I suppose, were children once." Charles Lamb.
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#5 of 10 Old 12-16-2010, 11:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by CatsCradle View Post

All that aside, I just think many people in general (whether they WOH or not) are addicted to their PCDs.  I think it has less to do with the urgency of things and more to do with a constant need to be connected.  My DH made an interesting observation the other day:  he said that PCDs have replaced cigarettes in our culture as a nervous habit.  I think there may be some truth to that!

This is probably really true. My mother is horrible about it. She was a workaholic when I was a kid, but now it's gotten so much worse. The last time we visited, she got mad at DS because he was talking at a restaurant because she was on the phone with someone from work. On her behalf, she's a hospital administrator, so sometimes it is life or death, but she has no ability to let go and engage in anything else.

 

I don't really get "lunch," so on days when I go to something with someone, then I'm able to shut down for that time. When I worked as a staff reporter, I couldn't do that. I didn't have kids, though, so I don't know how I'd handle it if I'd had kids while working that job. That's actually much of the reason I started working for myself - unpredictable, often inflexible hours! I was on the phone with a co-worker about an hour before my wedding started trying to source a story, and I realized that wasn't going to work once I had kids!


It's us: DH , DS ; DD ; and me . Also there's the . And the 3 . I . Oh, and .
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#6 of 10 Old 12-18-2010, 01:28 AM
 
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I really depend on my Droid for my work, but that thing is OFF when I'm at DS' school, when we're playing, eating, etc.  Unless it's really urgent (and it never is) I never return work e-mail on weekends or after 6pm.  I also don't pick up the phone at those times, either. 

 

I think it's pretty rude when people don't unplug for special/social occasions.  Like it or not, humanity survived for millions of years before our phones were invented, so it'll keep going for a few more minutes or hours until we can find an appropriate time to check messages.  winky.gif  It irks me to no end when I'm in a focused meeting and people are on their phones.  My boss is the worst culprit- she and I were in a meeting last week and I glanced over to find that she was playing Angry Birds on her iPhone.  Embarrassing.

 


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#7 of 10 Old 12-18-2010, 12:01 PM
 
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Pretty much every time dh and I leave work, we leave it there.


Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#8 of 10 Old 12-26-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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DP and I get in fights about this.  We almost had it out in a restaurant on Valentines day 2 years ago on a very rare date when he was checking email.  We now have a no phone at the table rule.  I work in a technology field and it's a joke between us that he's more into it than I am.  I'm grateful to not be 'on call' 24/7.  I no longer have that job and am not paid for it so I don't do it outside business hours.


Loving mama to Aden (8/5/2010) and DSD (15).
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#9 of 10 Old 01-03-2011, 04:43 AM
 
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I don't, but with my job, once I'm out the door, I'm not on call and things can wait until I get back to deal with them.  I only use my phone to take pictures.


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#10 of 10 Old 01-03-2011, 06:23 AM
 
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Yes.  But I went through a phase two years ago when work was really intense and I couldn't.  I had a very demanding client that I couldn't get under control.  Once that was over I became very strict about not working at night or on weekends.  Now, I have a blackberry and it's pretty integrated into my life.  (Work and facebook and personal email all come into the same place...it's a little addictive but I still try to be strict with it and let my friends know that they must call me on the weekends if they want me--I won't be checking email.)

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