Thank you so much for all the replies, ladies. It feels so good to know I'm not the only one facing this dilemma.
GeoFizz: you are right of course that there are many non-academic paths we can follow. I was actually positive all through grad school that I'd never want to be in academia and that I was headed to industry. But after a great academic post-doc I'm in love with academia and really don't want to work in industry (mostly b/c they demand alot more out of you schedule and time wise, whereas academia is so much more laid back that way). I really love doing research and thinking through problems, but of course there are other jobs where I can get that sort of thinking done. Anyways, I'm basically going to just see what my options are back home. There is a small pharma company there that I worked with during grad school: I'm quite sure I could get a job there. But I really didn't like it there, so it's sort of "last on my list", kwim? I definitely feel that I *can* find something to satisfy me, I'm staying positive, but I know what you mean about that feeling of uncertainty. We are planning on returning to Vancouver by the end of the year (before or after baby we're not sure yet) and hoping, hoping we can make a go of settling there permanently. If not, the next best thing would be a job in the PNW (I love Oregon) which is not so far away.
kerc: I've lived in Cleveland for a combined total of 3 years now. Yes, there are nice parts of Cleveland - if you like suburban living. DH and I are definite urbanites and while Cleveland is starting to slooooowly make progress on developing their urban areas, you simply cannot compare to Vancouver (unfair, really, but that's what I'm used to!). Vancouver, with it's stunning natural beauty, the ocean, the mountains, the mild climate (after this horrible winter I'm never complaining about the rain again!) and tons of vibrant, diverse urban neighbourhoods with GOOD RESTAURANTS.
Nate: we spent a year in Boston/Cambridge and I totally fell in love with New England! In fact, we were thinking of heading back there before I realized just how much I missed my family. Visiting once in a while is just not the same thing, and it sure would be nice to have Grandma around to babysit! I never thought I'd feel this way before I had kids, but now I just think everybody is missing out on sooo much. My DD is growing so fast, and they are missing out on all her cuteness, and she on having family around. Boston is a fantastic place to be, but it just seems sooooo far away from home!
Anyways, thanks again ladies for sharing your stories!