My 2yr old son is not adjusting well at all; how long do you give a daycare? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 06-13-2011, 06:35 AM - Thread Starter
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My son will be two in two wks he is sensitive but loving, playful, likes to help with things and loves to learn.  I have had him at this daycare for about a month and every day when I pick him up he cries and runs to me. The teachers seem frustrated and they tell me he cries on and off all day especially toward the end when other parents start picking up their children. All the kids in his class are almost two so once hes two he will be in a different room. I have another daycare in mind that seems really nice but what if he has the same anxiety or worse because of the change again. Do I see how he does in the new room or switch daycares now since he will be changing rooms anyway?

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#2 of 4 Old 06-13-2011, 09:33 AM
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Sorry about the rough adjustment; that is hard on everyone involved. :(


I can't say much about your situation but I know for us, DD did not adjust *at all* in the two months (18-20 mo) she was in her first daycare (which turned out to be really terrible; I feel awful that it took me that long to figure it out).  She adjusted to her current day care, which is fabulous, in about a day.  I was worried about the switch being stressful as well but it didn't turn out to be a problem at all, I just wish I'd done it earlier.

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#3 of 4 Old 06-13-2011, 09:44 AM
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Having taught toddler classes in daycare/preschool before, a few things come to mind...


1) It is absolutely normal for some kids to take a few weeks (I've seen up to 6) to adjust, especially if they were previously home or if they attend part-time. Even after that, there are some kids who just melt down at pick up- it's the end of the day, it's a major transition, and seeing Mommy or Daddy reminds them to be sad. However...


2) The fact that the teachers seem to you like they're frustrated could be a red flag. Yes, it's frustrating when you have a crying child all day and can't help them feel better. I've been there, I've had classes of 25 kids and that one kid that just screams and screams no matter what you do. But I always knew, working in childcare, that a worried mom who comes at the end of the day to pick her child up does NOT want to feel those negative vibes. I was always honest with parents about crying- I know some of my coworkers weren't- but would say it in a cheerful way, i.e. "We had a great circle time, but got a little upset when we had to come in from outside. He cheered right up when we took out the play-dough, though!" If it feels like they're complaining to you about your child (and I could have just gotten the wrong idea from your post), that classroom is probably not the right fit.


3) I would wait it out and see how things go in the next room- or see if you could move him up early? The teachers will be new, the routines will be new, the toys, etc., and hopefully something will strike with your little man!


I know it's hard leaving our babies- I've been on both sides of it- and when they're unhappy about it it's even worse. Good luck!

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#4 of 4 Old 06-14-2011, 10:13 PM
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i changed 5 daycares in 4 months before we found one dd adjusted to. 


if he keeps having anxiety you keep changing. 


what was easy for me was in most of the cases the dc person themselves told me dd wasnt adjusting well and they werent able to really calm her down so i should start looking at other alternatives..


so finally the opening at the center was available and she did much better first day on. she just hated day cares. 

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