I have recently started a new job, approx 15hrs a week. I am also in grad school part time (online, so I don't have to attend classes in person). I was a SAHM before that. My youngest is almost 3. The job is important for my future career as it is giving me valuable skills for when I graduate from grad school and look for a full time job in my field.
So I am having a hard time transitioning to being in the outside world. Although I have a lot of support from my husband and the daycare seems to be working out ok, it is still hard. There's guilt of course..there will be a couple of afternoons I'm not available for when my eldest gets home from school, and other times here and there even on a weekend when I'm at work for a few hours. He may have to forego some after school activities because I won't be able to pick him up ( I don't know for sure yet but I am guessing it will happen). I am also kind of a planner, and I get stressed out thinking ahead about all the projects at work. Also, I can't quite put my finger on it but I think just the whole "new job" scenario and dealing with new people, new boss, dealing with customers, etc...I have to have almost a "work" persona and a "home" persona. Sometimes it is hard to transition between the two.
Just wondering if anyone knows what i'm talking about. I've only been in the job 3 months so I am optimistic it will get better when everything isn't so new and logistics settle down a bit. But if you've any stories or suggestions on how to cope with the transition I would be grateful.
My youngest is 1 1/2, and I just went through a grueling interview process for what promises to be a positive step in my career, and a position that has a lot of stress and high expectations of me, but also ample vacation time (it's in education) and time for creativity. They told me I was the top candidate, and the pit in my stomach immediately settled in. Part of me is worried that I won't be able to live up to the new expecations... that I won't be able to do the juggling act. Part of my will miss the kids, but they are at ages now where it's a little bit easier to think of how helpful it will be for them to bond with other caregivers too. I'm also lucky that my dh works from home, so I know there will always be someone there during the day... but I still worry about how it will all play out. Failure is a scarey prospect, but I think that risks are important because they are how you move forward in your life. If you don't challenge yourself, professionally or personally, then you might start to feel like you're missing out.
Since I'm not doing it yet, I'm mostly offering a sympathetic ear. I would say that relaxing a little about the chaos and knowing that you will settle into a new routine would be helpful. Developing a mantra, like "I am a confident, intelligent woman and I can do this" is helpful. I know it's what You can bet I was saying throughout my 4 1/2 hour "Spanish Inquisition" style interview! lol, but I came out on top in the end.
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