Background: We have used the same in home DCP for 3 years. I have a 4yo and 2yo and will have an infant beginning in December or January. about $30-$40/day is average daycare price where I live. We started paying this DCP $24/day (her asking rate), when DS2 was born we told her with me being in school (not working much) and having 2 kids we could not afford $24/day per kid so we settled on $20/day per kid. So we currently pay $20/day per kid which is $40/day.
Current: So I am going to make almost nothing by the time we factor in daycare cost (except it is still worth it because I get free graduate school with my job, so I want to stay there no matter what at least until I finish school). DH wants to ask DCP to reduce price to $15/day per kid once I return to work after the baby is born...that's only $45/day for all 3 kids (also our kids only go 2-3 days/week most of the time because DH or my mom watch them the other days if they can). I feel like it is a total rip off to her and she is such a sweet heart and so attached to our kids that I think she would accept it even if she did feel comfortable with it. So I am just trying to come up with some type of compermise or something... I was thinking maybe we could ask for a discount just on one kid or something..but, I'm not sure. I guess the most complicated part is that I don't feel she will speak up and be honest with us about this...she is one of the most giving and selfless people I know and I am always afraid I might take advantage of her in some way...
Advice on this?
Yes, I think you are right to think DH's suggestion is to taking advantage of her. You would be asking her to watch three kids, including an infant, for less than half the going rate of other care providers? Don't infants usually have a higher rate? Why would you expect a discount on an infant?
She charges the same regardless of age...though I realize that is not the norm. I was more thinking the 4yo would be the "discounted" child though because he does not require as much attention, and also does not need care quite as often, sense my mom is more comfortable watching him occasionally. I am not expecting a discount for anyone though...and I'd really rather not ask at all...but I totally get where DH is coming from and I don't think it we be obsurd - so long as it is really minimal. We can also reduce our hours per day dramatically as well...so long as DH does not get a second job, of course if he does that than it will be much more affordable!
FYI- I think she charges less in part because she doesn't speak English...but, to us that is not an issue - we actually preffer someone who can speak at least some spanish sense some of our family speaks mostly spanish (other than she can't teach our 4yo his letters/early reading etc, she does fine working on fine motor and shapes and colors etc with the 2 and unders though)
Are your kids the only kids she is watching? Does she have a licensed daycare, where your kids are taking up spots that regular paying kids could have? Or is it more of a nanny situation?
Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds 11yo dd 9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds
She is a licensed in home daycare, so yes, our kids are taking up spots, in fact, I think she is currently full, but, several are going back to public school in a couple weeks
Mom to DS 12/07 and DD 11/13, plus a bunch of chickens, dogs, and cats.
Moving past many years of infertility and always thinking of my friends in the infertility forums.
Thanks everyone...I feel the same way, I just needed to know I am not being stubborn and unreasonable when I keep argueing this with DH - he has such a different background than me when it comes to stuff like this.
FYI- we OVER paid her every day for the first year we were with her, and whenever we have a little extra we try and bring her a homemade gift or give her a gift card to some place she likes - always on her birthday and Christmas and Valentine's, but, we try to hit a few random times too...and then the occasional card or letter just to show our appreciation.
I hope it didn't come accross that I was trying to take advantage that is the whole thing I am trying to avoid - and my DH I don't think wants to take advantage either - he just doesn't get it...and she doesn't *need* the money I don't think, but, it is the PRINCIPLE and he doesn't quite get it (he gets mad all the time that my family doesn't just constantly watch our kids...thats how it was in his family and his community, but, it is really different around here and times have changed too!)
I am not trying to be rude, but I really don't understand why people think that child care providers should play by such vastly different rules than the rest of the working public.
I totally side with you on this one...dh is being unreasonable. Try to put it to him this way....
How would he feel if his boss increased his workload and asked if he'd mind getting a lesser salary.
She doesn't need the money? I don't think people take care of other peoples' children for 8-10 hours a day for the fun of it. ;) I am pretty sure she needs the money. Regardless, child care providers are already grossly underpaid. I do understand that you say that you will be bringing home next to nothing after you pay for daycare for three children, but I bet it's still more than your provider earns.
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I hope you can get your DH on your side. Good luck with the baby.