Please help with daycare dilemma - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 09-12-2011, 11:05 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi everyone,

I haven't posted here before but need some advice with regards to my 16 mo and 3.5 yo DD's.  I work 12 hrs/wk and my kids have always been watched by their grandma's and enjoy it.  We've recently had some issues come up with various social functions that we need to attend on the weekends/evenings without the kids and I feel really bad asking the grandma's to help since they help out during the week. 

There's also some issues that we have several times a year with one of the grandma's and traveling-she'll be away 2 weeks at a time and it leaves us in a bind. 

Anyway, I've been thinking about looking for something else to supplement them as the only babysitters-either somewhere for the kids to go while I work or a sitter to help with the various social functions. 

2 spots just became open at an in-home center 5 min. away from home that comes highly recommended.  The lady's been doing this 35 years and becomes like a grandma to the kids.  It would work out perfectly except I'm really worried about the transition for my girls.

The oldest is very shy and just starting pre-school 2 days a week that is going kinda rough for her and my 16 mo. old is very attached to me and has only been away at the gym daycare twice, where she screamed the whole time.

I know the transition would be hard for the baby and I'm wondering if it's too much for the 3.5 yo with pre-school also starting now.

I feel like once the initial adjustment is over it could be a great situation and allow the grandma's to be "grandma's" and not feel obligated as baby-sitters, and I will have a reliable place for them.

So, I guess what I'm asking, is do I change things up for them when I know it will be hard, or just keep it the same but deal with the frustrations of our current situation???

Any advice is so greatly appreciated!!!

Sorry this got so long!

Mom to 2 amazing girlies, Feb. '08 and May '
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#2 of 5 Old 09-12-2011, 11:32 AM
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If I had a choice to keep kids with a family member I would.  Hands down. They get individualized attention from a family member. You could see if this woman would want to be your back up sometimes... for the time grandma is away and at night or if she knows anyone she could recommend?




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#3 of 5 Old 09-12-2011, 02:20 PM
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Everyone is so different so I can only share our experience. I spent years cobbling together child care between family members and friends, I ended up having to go to paid sitters. In the beginning I was very unsure but honestly it has been the best thing ever. My kids see the sitters as someone fun coming over just to play with them and grandmas get to be grandma again. I don't have to worry about wrangling child care as often I used to. 

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#4 of 5 Old 09-13-2011, 11:26 AM
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I have used paid care and agree that it makes things cleaner and on some levels easier....if you choose the right person/people and work with them closely.  Transitions are always hard, but well-attached kids can almost always weather it really well! 

Mom to two terrific kiddos, affirming every day that the Universe is unfolding as it should and all is well...

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#5 of 5 Old 09-17-2011, 08:30 AM
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Some home care providers can be absolutely wonderful. I would have hands down gone with a family member if that was a choice for me. However it wasn't always the case. If there is someone who comes highly recommended and has been doing this for awhile, she will know how to help the kids with adjustment. Some people just have it though, you know? They can draw the kids in and it might not be so bad to have another source in their lives.
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