When your kid is sick... struggles - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 11-16-2011, 07:24 AM - Thread Starter
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Ugh!  It's barely winter yet and already major challenging with multile illnesses.


My Mom just called me YELLING at me that my DS is sick again. She keeps him home from daycare when he is sick with her. She works nights, and this is taxing on her, but she offered to do it because she knows I do not have time to stay home everytime my children are sick. I can lose my job if I call off too much or call off with no PTO time in the bank.


She is yelling at me how messed up it is that she is stuck raising my sick kid while I'm unaffected and at work.  :-(  WTF? Unaffected?


I have a HUGE meeting today. My first as a point person with a VP! It's BIG. I'm anxious about it as is. And tomorrow and Friday I have meetings all day too where I'll be training people. There is a lot of big stuff going on at work right now.


So now here I am ready to cry... when I should be focusing and preparing for this big meeting?!


So now I'm failing at being a Mom... and failing at my job because I'm a Mom stuck...


I don't know what to do. My Mom is yelling at me to leave work early and how it's not her problem. I get that my kids aren't her problem. But if I lose my job... um... we are going to be even more of a problem to her because then I won't be able to afford anything with NO money coming in!!! 


She is the one that volunteered to watch my kids when they were sick and could not go to daycare... I don't know who else to call. 


What do you guys do when your kids are sick and if you work at a place that has VERY strict attendance policies?

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#2 of 6 Old 11-16-2011, 08:33 AM
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Ugh, sorry mama, it's really hard. Hope your meeting today goes well!


My DS is in daycare and he was sick constantly the first winter. This is his third winter and he is doing much better but I panic when he gets sick because it just seems to happen at the worst time. If my mom is around (she lives in another country but spends about 5 months visiting here), she will take him, but if she isn't I have to take time off. My boss is actually very nice about letting me work from home, but the problem is I CANNOT actually get work done from home when DS is sick because he needs me! So it doesn't help if I have a deadline for a project and I have to work in the evening to make up for the lost time.


There's only been one time where I had an all-day meeting and DS was sick, but I begged my sister to take the day off from work and watch him. Some of my working mom friends use emergency babysitting services where you can call the night before or even day of to get someone to come but it costs a lot of money and I feel bad getting leaving a sick DS with complete stranger...


I hope others have more helpful advice for you :)

Mom to DS born 6/09 and DS2 born 6/12

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#3 of 6 Old 11-16-2011, 08:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama View Post

So now I'm failing at being a Mom... and failing at my job because I'm a Mom stuck...

B.S. You are not failing at all. You are in a rough position in a system that offers NO support to new parents and expects you to work like you have no kids and no other obligations and gives minimal support for new mothers and then expects you to say thank you. 


Your mother will yell. She will get over it. You had to balance making your mom mad for a little bit with making sure you keep your job to feed your family. You made the right decision. 


Hang in there and rock that presentation.


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#4 of 6 Old 11-16-2011, 06:21 PM
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I don't think you are a bad mom, but it does sound like your mom is letting you know that you both need to reevaluate your back up plan.  When my mom couldn't watch my dd I had my step-dad do it, my friend a couple times, and once I asked the neighbor kid to do it.  I almost had to use a sitter service once but luckily my step-dad was able to shuffle things around, but they are another option I would use in a pinch because they are required to at least have a background check and license in our city.  I also have a couple of sitters I rarely use but would trust if I needed someone to leave my dd with because of illness.


I am in a job that has a PTO limit and I am careful to use it only for when I am throwing up or have strep, everything else I take ibuprofen for and go in.  If my dd only has a little sickness I also give her ibuprofen and send her in because it lasts longer and I have found that it is better to get a call from the daycare at work than it is to call in sick to work. 

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#5 of 6 Old 11-18-2011, 08:59 AM
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You are not a bad mom!  You just need to make some changes.  Your mom is tired, and it's too much for her.


But, perhaps you need a daycare with a much smaller group so he's not exposed to as much.  Or one with a less strict sick policy.



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#6 of 6 Old 11-20-2011, 04:15 PM
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i work in a daycare, lol, so i cant call out just because my son is sick. unfortunately for him, unless hes majorly sick, he still goes to school. my mom moved in with us about a year ago, and it does help that sometimes she can keep him home... it would help more if she had a job though, lol, and shes working on that.

*~*Ashley*~* newly single mama to Tristan 10/01/2007
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