Tag Team parenting with infant - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 12-05-2011, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
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I had my baby on 10/10 and will be returning to work full time on 12/11.  I have negotiated a schedule that will allow DH and I not to put her in daycare.  My schedule will be variable, but typically I will work Saturday and Sunday from 8-4, go to the office from 3-7pm a few days a week, and work from home the rest.  DH will work from 6am-2pm Monday-Friday.  We are very in tune with each other on parenting and he is completely comfortable and competent with taking care of her alone.  I don't love that we won't have many days off together all three of us, but it seems worth it to not have to put her in daycare this young.  When she is a year or two, we want to get back to a more normal work week.  Does anyone have any experience they would like to share with this type of schedule?  What did it look and feel like?  Are you glad that you did/are doing it?

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#2 of 7 Old 12-05-2011, 07:43 PM
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We have done this off and on (we've always needed some daycare, but, we've been able to keep it part time at least); its just tough not getting the family time, though we make a huge point to spend Sundays together (that is the one day we ALWAYS have both been off work). We typically go to church, eat lunch and nap/watch movies together, then do some osrt of family activity outside the house and top it off with dinner out....even when we had the one infant we made a point of doing something like that and it helped. We recently were trying to switch our schedules so they were mroe the same but now expecting #3 and still having the other 2 in daycare for nearly another year we just cannot financially do it so we are going to try and keep opposite schedules and just continue to emphasize spending time together when we can.


It also helps if I text/leave notes for DH because as well meaning as he is he does forget to get certain things done around the house/errands etc. Since he is home in the morning it is easier for him to do than me.


Also, if our kids are not cooperating with taking the Sunday afternoon nap than we just alternate - he gets 30mins or so then I get 30mins or so and the other parent entertains the kids (or cares for baby)...I don't know why but that nap seems to power our week lol...I think we just get so tired because we are both working FT and then caring for the kids alone.


Good luck mama, its hard, but, can totally be done!

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#3 of 7 Old 12-06-2011, 08:04 AM
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We did/do this to different extents over the past few years.  It does get frustrating not seeing each other much, but we are trying to take advantage of even small amounts of time together instead of waiting for a magical big chunk :)


Also, we really struggle with both feeling like we are always "on" in some capacity. We are either with the kids or working, and being on opposite schedules ensures that it is pretty rare that either of us gets much alone time. So, make sure you take any chance you get to relax, even if it is when your baby is happily playing or napping! 


I just started working the whole weekend in addition to evenings, and that has been tough in regards to family activities, since those are the usual days off fo rmost people (I mean extended family mostly), as well as getting anything done around the house now feels kind of impossible!


Overall though, negatives aside, I am SO grateful and happy that we avoided daycare (we could never afford it!) and that my kids have gotten to be home with one parent all the time :)

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#4 of 7 Old 12-11-2011, 03:50 PM
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we plan on doing the same thing come january.  We will each work 3 days a week and have one day off together.  It really seemed like the only logical answer.  I make more but DS will only be 2 months when I need to finantally go back to work.  We definatly can't afford childcare.  I am also more comfortable with my child being with one of his parents at all times when he is this young and not going to daycare until he can actually enjoy it. 


One thing I plan on doing is find some sort of activity we can do on one of my days with DS.  Maybe mommy and me yoga.  I think it is more fufilling to me to get out and do activities than it is to DS but then again right now I SAHM and it drives me insane.I know I am going to miss my kid like crazy but I really can't wait to go to work. 


I don't have any advice but I too want to know how it works out/ hasn't worked out for people. 

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#5 of 7 Old 12-12-2011, 08:48 AM
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We did tag team for a month or so. DH would come home at around noon-ish. I would go to work at 1. I came home at 7, and we all went to bed at 730 (DH works at 230 am, so he has to go to bed early, and DS gets tired for the night around that time).


It wasn't the most fun I ever had, but we did it. I agree w/other posters- carving out family time ont he weekends is really helpful. We did the Sunday thing too. That day was for the three of us. No visitors, no going over to friends' houses, and the minimum of chores. We also made a point, DH and I, to text eachother a lot and stay in touch that way. Also, DH was able to bring DS to visit me at work for my break. That was really great.


We do part-time daycare now that I got a different, full-time job. DS is in daycare half the day every day. It's worked out a bit better. We have more family time at night now that I get home at 530. And I'm saner because our house is cleaner, since there's a bit of time at night to clean and pick up a messy house. :)


Your tag team arrangement can be done with commitment to making time for each other. When it gets hard, remember that your arrangement isn't forever. You can always make a change if it isn't working, or as your kiddo gets older. :) Good luck, mama!

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#6 of 7 Old 12-12-2011, 09:18 AM
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We did it with our kids the first year of their lives, It worked out well and it was good for both of us to have our own time with the kids. 

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#7 of 7 Old 12-22-2011, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
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Okay, we're two weeks in and I think we're doing well.  DH surprised me, and when I am the one working in the morning, he does all the nighttime parenting.  Dinner is a bit hard, but we're managing on that.  I'm feeling more relaxed since I'm back in the office and doing something besides fulltime mommying.  DH likes the one on one time that he is getting.  I'm going to be working from home more once the new year comes and I am out of PTO, that might be hard with her, but I'm so happy with how it is working so far.  Thank you all for your comments and reassurance!

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