day care problem - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 04-13-2004, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
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DS(now a year old! :-) has always liked his daycare, both the providers as well as the kids and I think it's a GREAT place. The problem? All of a sudder he is absolutely in love with one of the day care providers, so much that when I pick him up he screams and holds out his arms to go back to him. Our DCP says this happens a lot w/ other kids and not to stress about it, but I just don't know how to handle it. I feel so terrible, I don't see him all day, and then he doens't even want me
I know I should be glad that at least he's w/ people he loves, but it is still so upsetting. Has anyone else had this happen? What do I do? It's not like he's even there that much, maybe 25 hours a week... I just want him to be happy to leave w/ me and see me at the end of the day.....
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#2 of 5 Old 04-13-2004, 04:51 PM
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Sorry you are going through this, and that it is getting you down. I do have to say that I think it is more of a transition issue than a rejection of you. Does your DS have trouble moving from one activity to another, like moving from bath to stories, or something like that? If so, it is probably just something he is working through.

As much as dcc's usually push for a "short drop off," I'm actually kind of a fan of the "long pick up" (depending on how much time I have). If the kids want a few extra minutes, I can sit down on the floor and play with them, or use that time to talk to the teachers about their day, etc. Of course, some people don't have time to allow for this. In that case, I think it is best to just help your child transition as easily as possible, using whatever skills you use at home.

My kids go back and forth on this--one time my four year old even asked me to go drive around the parking lot for "five minutes" so she could keep playing!

Good luck!

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#3 of 5 Old 04-13-2004, 05:00 PM
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It really hurts doesn't it! I have an au pair and there are times when my dd reaches out for her when I am there. I usually make a joke out of it and keep reminding myself that it is a good thing that she has bonded with her au pair and that she loves her. Telling myself that does make me feel better. Then I usually nurse my dd! Ha! My au pair can't do that.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice on how to make it easier but I bet, like everything else, this too shall pass.

Mama to two wonderful daughers: 02/03/03 and 10/19/05
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#4 of 5 Old 04-13-2004, 05:20 PM
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Your child loves you and needs you!! He's just also becoming attached to his care providers. This is, really and truly, a good thing. You'll always be his mom, and no one can ever take your place. But he needs to like his child care providers, too.

I remember when this first happened with dd and her nanny when dd was around 14 months old or so. Oh man, does it hurt!!! I had to tell myself that it's a good thing that dd likes her child care provider so much that she'd reach for her or ask for her rather than me from time to time.

It was only a passing thing, by the by, and happened only sporadically thereafter.

You'll all work through it!!
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#5 of 5 Old 04-13-2004, 05:52 PM
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Caleb goes through spells of this same particular issue. And it is heart wrenching to say the least. Like an earlier poster, oftens times than not it is a transition issue.

I tell Caleb everyday that after his nap I will come get him so now the transition is a little easier for him to understand and accept.
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