Am I making things harder on DD? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 06-05-2012, 12:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DD (10 months) goes to daycare 5 days a week while I'm in class.  Since my class schedule is spread out (and because I sometimes have a hard time pumping enough milk), somedays I come once or twice in the day to breastfeed DD.  I felt like it was giving her and I a little more time together, but now I'm not so sure that it's a good thing.  When I leave after feeding her, sometimes she gets upset and has to have cuddle time with one of the daycare women.  I don't know how long she is upset, but I get the impression it's not super long, maybe a few minutes (just long enough for her to get distracted and forget that I left), but she's usually a very happy baby.  Then, the other day, I was talking with one of the providers at her daycare, and she told me about how the mom of one of the other babies used to come feed him on her lunch hour, but she stopped, because it "was too hard on him."

 

What do you guys think?

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#2 of 7 Old 06-05-2012, 12:21 PM
 
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Does she get upset when you drop her off usually?

 

Maybe it is less that you come, and more that when you come back she expects to leave with you.  Could you just come get her and take her somewhere else for a while, and then re-drop her off?  You could take her for a short walk, or something like that.


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#3 of 7 Old 06-05-2012, 12:29 PM
 
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I say stick with it. When I was working I was lucky enough to work at the center where my boys were and was in a position where I could nurse on cue. There came a point where they would fuss a little after I leftand some days were worse than others. But to me it was important for them to consistently have breastmilk and avoid formula as much as possible. I would talk to a caregiver you trust and know will be honest with you and ask how bad it is when you leave. Then decide based on what you think is best for your DS.

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#4 of 7 Old 06-05-2012, 12:33 PM
 
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sorry-I meant your DD and my phone wonLt let me edit.

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#5 of 7 Old 06-05-2012, 04:05 PM
 
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I think it's just that she thinks the day is over, and you don't leave.  

 

I think you can stick with it, and she'll learn the patterns.  Or, since she's 10 months, you could stop (if it's what you want) and she will also be fine.  In the long run, it might make it hard on her for a short time, but I don't think it ruins her day or anything.  I think she probably is very lucky to have a visit from Mom. 

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#6 of 7 Old 06-05-2012, 08:52 PM
 
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It might help to be consistent with the number if times you go in each day, possibly even the actual times. A brief drop off routine when you do need to leave may help also.
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#7 of 7 Old 06-06-2012, 08:25 AM
 
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I did the same thing with DD. In the beginning, it was clearly a very good choice. We got a chance to reconnect during the day, which both of us needed, and DD had some feeding issues, so if I didn't go, she basically wouldn't eat.

 

DD did cry when I left, sometimes. That, alone, wasn't cause for me to stop the trips. For me, it helped to be as regular as possible in terms of arrival/departure, number of visits per day, and to develop a kind of mini-routine (i.e., I arrive, we play for a few minutes, nurse, DD falls asleep, I sing one particular song to DD, and then leave...or something similar) for my visits. That helped DD know exactly what to expect.

 

At some point, it became obvious that it had become more of an intrusion into the daily routine and less necessary for both DD and I.  As DD grew and moved past the "baby" stage, she was much more in tune with the daily routine of her day care environment and my presence was more disruptive -- i.e., I'm ready to leave and now it's nap-time, but DD's just zonked out on the boob for 45 minutes and no longer wants a nap. Or whatever. I think it's natural to reach that point eventually, and it's probably going to happen differently for everyone.


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