Sometimes I Just Want to Quit - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 3 Old 06-13-2012, 09:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been feeling like I can't do it anymore, like I should just give up on school. I am a student and a stay-at-home mama. Everyone in my life seems to be telling me to give up and get a job, but I really don't want to do that. I feel guilty all the time, and like I won't ever finish school or get anywhere. And it doesn't help that I am broke.

 

It's like I am crawling to get ahead but it seems like its out of my reach!

 

Has anyone else struggled with this? Sometimes I feel like I will just end up being a statistic.

 

I am 25 years old with a 6 year old.

 

Michelle



"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. " - C.S Lewis

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#2 of 3 Old 06-13-2012, 11:08 PM
 
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Michelle, if you give up, you will regret it. However, you may be able to change your life in ways that make it a bit more tolerable. I twice gave up my dream to satisfy what first my husband and then my mother wanted me to do. Neither cared at all about what I wanted to do with my life, what my dream was, what would challenge and feed me. They each only wanted their own lives to be more comfortable, and each of them abandoned me when I needed them most.

 

Follow your dream, if only so that your daughter will see that and follow her own dreams. Guess what? Girls whose moms work hard to get degrees are more likely to work hard to get their own degrees. And seeing you struggle may encourage her to wait to have children until she is out of college.

 

Don't give up, but address your fatigue and depression. Make your life simpler, delegate more, do less except for at school. Don't neglect your daughter, but help her learn to do some things well by herself and to help you when you need it. You are a team, and your goals are important too. This coming from someone who gave up her own goals for her son, mind you. But, if I had to do it all over again, there are things I would optimize so we both could reach our goals.

 

If you can, spend less time with people who don't support your goals, and find things to say to change the topic with people you can't avoid. Then, develop friendships with people who will support and encourage you. Then, say to your daughter that her mom is not giving up on her dream and will work hard to finish college because you have so many more opportunities and can also make more money when you finish college. Tell her that you want her to finish college and work two years before she has a child so it won't be so hard for her. Remind her of that regularly in a very positive way. And, tell her you are a team, and you need her help. Tell her when you get your diploma, she will get one too, and then make her one to go with yours on that day.

 

Never give up.

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#3 of 3 Old 06-15-2012, 01:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Omg governess, you are amazing. I needed to hear every single word you wrote right there. I totally lost my sense of purpose for my life and my dreams, and you plugged me back in. I am not going to give up, I am not going to quit, I am going to keep trying. I recently got accepted into a state university here in California where I am able to complete the entire program on line from home in 18 months to 2 years and I am super excited.

 

I was going to give up, because I felt like my community college grades were so poor, that I wouldn't be accepted to grad school. I have decided to go ahead and complete a second associates degree, it won't take more than three semesters and the college will allow me to use academic renewal, and it will also look great on my transcripts. 

 

Your also right about the people I am around. I became a Christian last year and I have felt a lot of pressure not from my beliefs but from the members of my church to be perfect, the pressure was eating me alive. I have been feeling like I can't be myself and want for anything. Like the things in my heart are not valuable. I guess, I should take a break from them and focus on God & my family & and my education. 

 

The combination of doubt about my academic history, the pressure of perfectionist at church, and my current financial troubles, along with the depression I have from the recent loss of my mother all together left me feeling like giving up. I am not at that place any longer :-)

 

Thanks so much

 

Michelle



"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. " - C.S Lewis

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