Please Help me!!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 09-30-2012, 07:17 AM - Thread Starter
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Hello Everyone, I am currently 21 years old and a senior in college studying accounting. I just recently found out I am 6 weeks pregnant and have no idea what to a sense that I am keeping the baby but don't know the next steps to take. So here's my story in January I was 10 weeks pregnant were I decided to get an abortion (worst mistake of my life) and I would never do that again. A couple months later in May I got pregnant again and ended up having a miscarriage at 8 weeks and now I am pregnant again. I'm not mad or angry because I brought this on myself so I have no one to blame but myself. My only concern is I am only 6 weeks and I don't want to tell anyone due to the fact that I might miscarry again. So I work two jobs and go to school full time, and try to hide my symptoms to others. I need your help because I dint know when to tell people and I dint know what I need to do. Should I tell my teachers and I have an internship in January should I turn that down??? What about graduating with no job in my field??? What about money??? The father doesn't want to be involved like I'm so confused please help me!!!!!

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#2 of 4 Old 09-30-2012, 06:57 PM
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Just take a deep breath, for starters. Remember that you don't have to have it all figured out today. Take some time to figure out the logistics, and remember that lots of moms have babies and return to work/school as needed. It's not easy but also not impossible. I don't see any immediate need to tell your peers/teachers or to turn down your internship. You need to continue working toward being employable in your field, for sure, so do as much as you can in that regard, as long as its not putting either of you at risk. I worked all the way up till the day I went into labor (worked 6 hrs that morning) and returned to work 8 days later. Not ideal, but u do what u have to do. As things progress, u can begin to work on your support system. You'll need one if at all possible. but for now, just breathe, one with your baby, and trust that you will make the right choices as they come.

Married to overworked  DH reading.gif since 2003, happily familybed1.gif mama to DD (01/09) and  babyboy.gif DS (4/12)

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#3 of 4 Old 09-30-2012, 07:14 PM
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As chiromama said, slow down. If you are keeping this baby, you still have plenty of time before you will need to tell others. Find a good midwife or some other high quality prenatal care and talk things over. The work and school stuff can be sorted out after you make a plan for a good birth with a lot of support.


Hang in there! Please also see our Pregnancy forum for tons of good advice on pregnancy!



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#4 of 4 Old 09-30-2012, 08:20 PM
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I know easier said than done, but it will all work out.  I was 21 when I had my first and although financially things have been a struggle life has generally been good.  


At 6 weeks I might wait to tell some people, though I'd tell parents, close friends, and close teachers right away.  My parents were quite upset at first, but everyone else was very supportive.  About the internship, you might still be able to do it.  I went to school until 40 weeks, though working I had to stop earlier due to health issues.  Talk to the people in charge at school and see what your options are - they might be more accommodating than you think.


After school can be scary, the internship should help you with the search though - they didn't really do internships when I was in school.  I'd start looking at childcare options now - I ended up using a hodgepodge of family members, but this didn't really work out long term.  We started with a daycare center at 14 months and continued until I stopped working. 


I'm still figuring the money out after all these years - I majored in English and Studio Art, so my prospects for a good income were kind of limited, and my DH only had a high school education in the early years. You'll do better in accounting I'm sure. :-)  While you're in school, check into social programs (WIC, SNAP, daycare, Medicaid) to help get you through the first part. Also, even if the father doesn't want to be involved, he is still liable for child support no matter what.  There is a Single Parents board here that may have some good advice on pursuing that...


Good luck to you!

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