Young mom in a rut... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 10-14-2012, 06:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just looking for anyone to chime in and throw me a "this too shall pass" or experiences of your own that you've survived to help me through this period of time.

 

I know this is all temporary, though I'm getting so burnt out that I'm having a harder and harder time holding onto any thread of rational thought to talk myself through.

 

And I have such a great life! I have two beautiful toddling twins, a great partner and home, I've recently opened a business that's building and doing well. My life looks like that "white picket fence" dream, this is exactly what I created and what I have wanted. But I feel alone, tired as hell, and I absolutely want to escape by times. 

 

I'm 24, my partner's several years older, which has all been irrelevant until having children. We wanted this together, yet now I find I go through periods of feeling so ripped off- like I missed out on something. I've traveled, I've partied, I've squeezed in whatever typical 20-something year-old activities one may partake in, yet I'm having moments of just wanting to run away, and go work some job somewhere and just be able to shop or take a 40 minute shower- whatever one may do with free time...

 

And I know this is just me typing ferociously in passing- ultimately I do love my life. I'm sure lots of moms no matter the age just want a freakin' break- I just feel extra down not having anyone I know personally to connect with. A lot of people in my social circle are older, and I'm finding the norm here is having children in one's thirties. I have a handful of friends close to my age, some which I'm still close with, some who have little interest in me as a mom and therefore our paths have veered off in different directions. I just have nobody my age who is also doing the mom-thing to possibly bounce ideas off of. I think I'd feel more like I can talk myself back up out of this rut if I had someone else who really gets it and can help me justify this ripped-off depressed feelings I get stuck with. I want to recognize them, know someone else feels them too, and then move forward.

 

So I guess that's where you all come in...


 

"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."

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#2 of 5 Old 10-14-2012, 06:39 AM
 
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I just wanted to post and say I turn 24 in two days and I get it! hug2.gif

 

Although I get beaten down and tired I try to remember its actually easier because I'm younger. Because I had my DD while I was young, I have the stamina (and am familiar with) staying up all night. I can only imagine it gets harder with age. 

 

I'm not sure if DD will be my only, but I also try and remember how YOUNG I'll be when she's a teenager or even 18. When she's 18 I won't even be 40 yet! Most other people I know will still be in the throes of child rearing (with young adolescents or even babies) at that age and my DP and I will be free to do as we wish!

 

I don't have any "mom friends". I also really wish I had others who were on the same page as I am parenting-wise that I could open up to (other than the fine ladies on MDC of course joy.gif). If you'd just like to chat send me a PM! Its so hard to find someone our age who is a mother, and who also practices any form of AP. 


lactivist.gifnovaxnocirc.gif Acd.gif'ing, winner.jpg,familybed1.gif,femalesling.GIFread.gif Momma to one DD 1/1/12 ribboncesarean.gif. Trying to goorganic.jpg and hoping for a hbac.gif next time!

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#3 of 5 Old 10-14-2012, 06:47 AM
 
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I was starting to feel that way about a year or two ago (DD is almost 4 and I'm 25).  I just wanted to up and move somewhere exciting or be able to just go to school to learn whatever and stay out at Starbucks studying and not have to worry about picking her up from daycare or whatever else.  I was just getting very depressed and frustrated.  It was then I realized it was the people in my life and my own self that was causing the situation.  I wasn't willing to take giant leaps of faith anymore (being prudent seems to be part of parenthood) and my family kept holding me back from doing anything interesting through guilt and threats.  So, one day I couldn't take the unhappiness anymore - I decided to move to Denmark with my Danish husband and do something really scary and not very practical.  Making that change has made everything feel much more bearable.  Obviously one can't pick up and move countries whenever one is feeling in a rut, but I made a huge number of lifestyle changes which also helped (getting involved with more social groups, exploring new places, living in a big/young city, walking/biking instead of having a car, and just generally slowing the pace of my life down and taking away a ton of conveniences).  

 

Anyways, it will pass, but I fear not without some changes.  I don't know what those will be for you... but you've got to find them!


Momma (25) to DD (almost 4)  and TTC #2.  Married to DH (almost 27) living the cold.gifteapot2.GIFdh_malesling.GIF,bikenew.gif,wash.gifknit.gif life and hoping to hbac.gif and cd.gif

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#4 of 5 Old 10-14-2012, 09:55 AM
 
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I'm not a young mom, but I, too, have toddler twins and am struggling to find someone to connect with. I just wanted to say that you're doing a whole lot of things that are very hard, and while they are satisfying, that doesn't change the fact that they're hard. I hope you can find someone to connect with  and a way to take a break very soon. It can be surprising how much good even a little break, or a short walk with someone who gets it can do. I met someone at the library story hour, and we chatted for about an hour. It made my week. And this morning I crashed, so my husband just took the girls to the farmer's market and I'm having a little time to myself.

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#5 of 5 Old 10-14-2012, 03:03 PM
 
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Another 24 year old here! I am also going through a little phase of wanting some "me" time. I'm actually feeling pretty good right now because DH and DS are out and I can use the computer.

 

I agree with AmandaT, it's so hard to find anyone young who practices natural parenting. One thing I'm thinking of doing is signing up for a parent/child preschool class at a local Waldorf school. I think it may be a great way to meet some other moms...


tea6.gifcancer-beating wife to caffix.gif DH since 7/4/09, mother to REPlaySkateboard04HL.gifDS 5/1/11 + energy.gifDD 8/21/2013

 

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