Can't bare the tbought of going back to work:( - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 05-14-2013, 05:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I got laid off unexpectedly last august when I was five months pregnant. Because i had to go on EI it cut my maternity leave short five months. My mat benefits run out July 28th...it is like a looming date that causes me much anxiety.

My husband works ft now and is a grad student but his contract ends the end of June. Needless to say August will be a rough month fiancially

I think it will be easiest for me to go to work where my dh can go on parental leave benefits. My dd will only be eight months and I'm really starting to feel sad about it. I know im lucky her dad can be with her but I feel really sad that I can't be.

Any advice from moms returning to work? Is I like pulling off a bandaid..terrible at first but gets easier? We are a few months away but do you momms have any advice on how we can ease into this. I worry its going to be hard on dd if we dont ease into it. I will also have to start pumping..a whole other change im not familar with!

Thank you:)
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#2 of 8 Old 05-14-2013, 06:43 AM
 
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Are you in Canada by any chance? The year maternity leave together with EI sounds exactly like my situation; that's why I ask. I was also laid off at about 5 months into my pregnancy but the one year maternity/EI for us here negates the option of dad taking parental leave. Unless it's an extra benefit offered by the workplace (very rare here since the government provides one year of leave altogether), the one year breaks down as 8 or 12 weeks (can't remember which) maternity leave for the woman to recover from birth and the remainder as parental leave to be taken by either parent, adding up to 52 weeks altogether. Both parents can be off at the same time but the benefits run out twice as fast. I'm not trying to be discouraging but there is so much fine print about these things that I would make absolutely sure there isn't any miscommunication. Please make sure that your partner will definitely be entitled to parental leave above and beyond the one year you have used up so that you don't plan on income that won't be there. If it turns out that he won't get benefits, then look into who would generate more income and see where you're at. I opted to stay at home after my benefits ran out because after daycare costs, I'd be making $400 or so a month which was not worth the hassle. Instead of that meager income, we trimmed the budget, cancelled cable, cut back on food spending and decided not to move to a more expensive area.

Again, I'm sorry to sound pessimistic but I want to make sure you have the right information to base your decision on.
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#3 of 8 Old 05-14-2013, 06:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there
Yup, I'm in Canada. I know exactly what you're talking about and I think you're right. He can luckily go on ei where hsi contract expires its like gwtting laid off in the teaching world so in the end I guess it doesnt matter what you call it, ei or parental leave. I think it really sucks for execting parents to get laid off so soon before their due dates. Add to that its not asy to loose timw on your mat leave..I mean who is going to hire a really pregnant woman knowing she has to leave in a few months..grrr.
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#4 of 8 Old 05-14-2013, 06:40 PM
 
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Ah ok, THAT makes sense. I'm sorry I don't have much advice but I do want to send hugs your way. It certainly is a tough situation to be in and I have to say I still have trouble leaving my 2 year old. I hope you get helpful advice from seasoned working mamas hug.gif
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#5 of 8 Old 05-14-2013, 08:22 PM
 
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It is really hard. Some people find that it gets better over time. I never did, not until much later. I hope it works out for you.

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#6 of 8 Old 05-16-2013, 09:59 AM
 
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No good advice here either... I went back to work with both boys when they were 6 weeks old, and... yeah it sucked.  (although at the time I thought I was handling it well, retrospect shows that in reality, no, I really wasn't adjusting well and that time period is a very dark place for me.  However, a lot of that was due to both me and my husband working crazy schedules and trying to balance everything else- if one of us was at home I know things would have been much better).

 

The good news is that your husband will be there for your daughter (and for you).  That is an incredible blessing I think in the bag of lemons you are facing.  No daycare, no juggling shifts and handing off the baby, baby gets to stay at home with a parent.. those are all incredible advantages!  I'm not trying to invalidate your anxiety or feelings at all, just trying to help you see on the bright side of things since it seems for now you really have no other choice.  *hugs*

 

If you know that you do want to be the stay at home parent in the future, I would start planning and working towards that goal now.  It will make you feel better knowing you are putting those things in place for the future even while you are working now to support your family.

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#7 of 8 Old 05-16-2013, 10:28 AM
 
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I was freaking out about going back, even though, like you, my daughter would be with my husband or my mother all the time. Then after I actually got back to work it just wasn't a big deal. It helped that I was returning to the same workplace where I knew most of the procedures. I think that we build it up in our heads to be such a big thing and it's not really necessarily a big thing. Also, depending on what you do, having some time in which you interact with coherent adults instead of babies can be a nice break, and time at work makes you appreciate time at home and vice versa. 

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#8 of 8 Old 05-21-2013, 06:45 PM
 
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If you get good care, then it does get easier with time, and the reunions are so sweet when you are done with work! I valued our breastfeeding and co-sleeping relationships all the more when I had to go to work by day. Here in the states we are lucky if we get 12 weeks so we are leaving pretty little ones. I've been blessed with amazing, dedicated child care providers so that has made it easier for me.
 


 
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